An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Friday, November 9, 2007

Have you ever done this?

1. Run to the grocery store for ONE item, come back with ten, and then discover that you forgot to buy that ONE item?

2. Realize that you forgot to wash your sons' school uniform pants the night before, so you dig out some dirty ones, throw them in the dryer with 500 dryer sheets for five minutes, and consider them "dry cleaned"?

3. Spend five minutes looking for the remote when it would take 1 second to just turn it on manually?

4. Set the clock on the microwave and instead of pushing "set" you push "start" and then don't realize that the microwave is running until the wicker bread basket you had hidden inside (to keep the counter tops clutter free, you see) catches fire?

5. Cook a frozen pizza and when you couldn't slice it realize that you had forgotten to remove the cardboard circle from the bottom?

6. Forget to pick up your kids when they have early dismissal?

7. Cook a whole turkey without taking out the bag of giblets and not realize it until the 250 people you have invited over are seated at your table?

8. Run into an old Italian boyfriend (one you haven't seen in 10+ years) when you have just been caught in a rain shower and your hair is plastered to your face and your mascara is running?

Just wondering . . .


Karen said...

Well, not all of them, but too many of them. Why? Is that a sign of dementia? Because I fear I'm well on my way.

Bia said...

It's not dementia. It's called multi-tasking!

onthegomom said...

Well, I have done almost all of those things...sadly. I haven't set anything on fire in the mircrowave and... uh... um... I have never cooked a whole turkey. Otherwise I am with you on the other 6!

Cute and funny post

My Semblance of Sanity said...

I love this post!! ROFL!

Do you know what happened to me and my microwave last week?

I was microwaving carrots and they started sparking!! How weird is that?!

I love your humor!!!

:o) mg said...

You probably won't believe this, but one day I had just walked into the back door from my trip to the grocery store, and remembered that I had forgotten to get dryer sheets! I resolved that my son would just have to wear the pants to school dirty. After that freeing decision, I started dinner (microwave pizza) and just as the microwave burst into flames, I grabbed the fire extinguisher and started spraying when I heard the doorbell. It was the UPS man! I opened the door with all that white stuff from the inside of the extinguisher all over me because I accidentally sprayed it the wrong way!! Just then, I recognized Antonio, my ex-fiance from, like, 20 years ago. Oh, man, did he look fantastic in that brown uniform. Filled it out so nicely. And there I was looking so frumpy and frazzled. *sigh* What a memorable day that was!
But, strangely enough, I've have never,ever done that turkey thing. Ew.
(tee hee)

Bia said...

Okay, mg, you have me beat. I mean, I've done all those things, but not on the same day! That boyfriend thing, though, really bummed me! And it ALWAYS happens to me . . . when I decide to make a quick stop somewhere when I haven't showered and my hair is all frizzy and I have on no make-up, THEN I bump into someone I haven't seen in a long time! Sigh.

Kellan said...

Bia - I have done every single one - well ... not #8 - that one is all yours. Fun list of things we do that are so funny and mindless! See you soon.

Leanne said...

Hmmm. I haven't done them all, but I've done many...and I've done STUPIDER things too.

The running into the boyfriend one though? Been there, but since I don't look that hot too often these days, you gotta bet the odds are I will look like HELL on the day I see the old boyfriends. Nobody left longing for me I bet.


:o) mg said...

I have gotten caught up in the whole "after school" racket (cough cough extortion ahem cough).
Which reminds me... early release on Tuesday.

Bia said...

Honestly, if you hadn't reminded me I wouldn't have known. See, I really am bad about early dismissal! Really, though, I've only totally forgotten them one time when they were sent to after school care (they didn't speak to me for the rest of the evening!), but I have semi-forgotten them several times. That's when I remember about early dismissal at the last possible moment, drive like a maniac and come screeching up to the front of the school to see that my boys are the only ones left standing with all the carpool teachers. Slightly embarrassing!

:o) mg said...

Thankfully, it is not a DFCS-able offense! LOL!

Amber said...

Oh, yeah... I can totally relate!

Granny Annie said...

I have certainly come close to doing all the things on your list so I could relate. Instead of running into an old boyfriend looking just like you stated, I ran into my husband's old girlfriend with me looking like you stated. I think that was almost worse! Great post and thanks for reminding us of our humanness.

Jen said...

Bia, your microwave one made me laugh! My feet are always cold, and I once put my socks in the microwave for what I thought was just a few seconds. My husband and I were sitting on the couch when he said "Do you smell smoke? Are you cooking something?" (HEY!) My socks caught on fire! We still laugh about that.

Bia said...

Granny Annie,
You win! Your scenario is much, much worse than mine! Thanks for the laugh!