An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Can You Say Outhouse?

So here’s the thing, my three sweet boys
I was in your bathroom today.
But when I entered I lost my poise
and stood there in utter dismay.

I shouted out so all could hear,
Why, oh why can’t you boys aim?
Who is at fault? It’s really quite clear
There’s no one but you three to blame.

Now aiming is something I know you can do…
It’s done in sports, I assume.
So make your aim so straight and so true
Like an athlete…in the bathroom!

Indoor plumbing is a privilege, you know
Its comforts you must respect.
And when nature calls and you have to go
Into the bowl your piddle you’ll direct.

Or else.

Love, Mom


Kathryn said...

I have threatened for YEARS to buy a black light and then make then clean up all the glow in the dark pee. I think it would really help them aim, ya know! (but I still havn't done it, I think I'm afraid of just how bad it would be)

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El) said...


My mom had three sons, I wish she was around to share this with...


Cheryl Lage said...

SO get this! HE-Twin INSISTS the pooled splotches of yellow are his sister's. Really? REALLY? Clearly anatomy is not his forte....

Can hardly wait to share this poetic tour de force with him :)

Kim H. said...

Bia, you're a genius.

And in our house, poor 15 yo daughter has to share a potty with the stinky boys and there are two of us now ranting the rant. Although, I am kinda glad someone else gets it now.

And btw, I looked online today for some danskos...might be waiting until know, I'm still feeling fleeced by back-to-school!

Tiziana said...

eh! eh! sono sicura che Timothy è innocente.

GrandmaK said...

TOOOO funny!! (the poem and very good, too.) My mom got so tired of it that my brothers had to "sit at all times when using our bathroom." It seemed to work...No verification about the results today. Even used that with our boys for a while. Mom had my brothers cleaning the bathroom just like my sister and I did, too. Have a grand day! Cathy

Sharon said...

I love it!! My only addition would be, "See this? It's the toothpaste cap! It screws on the end of the tube, like this...Got it??"

Lisa said...

LOL! I love this! My big guys seem to have outgrown the problem, but I have two little ones on their way up to it... As soon as they can read, I'm going to have to hang this poem over the toilet. &:o)

Wendy said...

Oh how I can relate! The other day a Chris Rock commercial came on, showing the mother yelling for Chris to come back and wipe the toilet seat. My little boys looked up at me and grinned. For now, I blame the 13 year old. The little ones are still very close to the toilet's rim, but the bigger boy doesn't even look.

Deb said...

When my boys were four or five, I taught them to clean the bathroom, top to bottom. I have NEVER had a problem with poor aim since. A healthy respect for other people is a quality I hope I gave them. "Should someone else have to clean up what you left behind?" Then make sure you get it in.

I'm seriously not kidding about the age either. They are young enough to get it, and be grossed out at the same time!

GrandmaK said...

Wonderful poem!!! HEHEHEHE! Had three boys myself. Know exactly what you mean! Cathy