An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

What did the Pink Panther say ...

when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant ... dead ant - dead ant - dead ant ...

Okay, I know that was a really, really bad joke. But I have been having violent thoughts toward ants ever since we returned home from a two week vacation and, upon unpacking, discovered ants here and there; the fact they were not everywhere had us more than a little confused about the source.

First we first discovered a few in our pantry, which floored me because I had just cleaned that pantry; in fact, take a look at my clean, organized pantry (and Mom, the pantry is empty because we haven't been here for two weeks ... I DO, TOO, FEED MY BOYS!).

Then we discovered more than a few swarming in the bread machine Papa had given us just as we were leaving Virginia Beach. It was a new machine, but it had been stored in Papa's garage so anything was possible. Was this the source of our invasion?

A few were found in a suitcase, but it had been stored under the bread machine during our trip home so we thought their presence was perfectly normal.

Two on a bathroom counter upstairs, but we transported them there. Right?

But here's where it gets mysterious: this evening I opened our freezer door and saw a pile of what looked like coffee grounds on the bottom shelf.

Except they weren't coffee grounds; they were a pile of frozen ants.


Nothing sticky. No crumbs. Nothing to entice them. Were they just suicidal?

I peeked into a carton of vanilla bean ice-cream and hesitated: those were vanilla bean specks, right? RIGHT?

I took a deep breath and in a fit of bravery I ... well, I vacuumed up the ants.

Then, in the middle of dinner I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thought: what if the cold put those little beasties into ant hibernation and now that they were out of the freezer there was a massive ant resurrection going on in my vacuum cleaner?

Is such a thing possible? In my near panic state Michael Crichton popped into my mind. Yikes. I jumped out of my chair, grabbed the vacuum cleaner, and threw it into the backyard.

There. I felt better.

But, just to be sure, no ice-cream for me thank-you-very-much.


Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

Males total sense to me.

My brothers had a two pirahna while growing up. One died. Then, one froze because the tank was in the laundry room right by the back door (my mom was a smart mom), and the power went off.

So my brothers flushed it down the toilet. I didn't sit on that seat for a year, knowing it had thawed and was coming back for some bum vengeance.

Of course, I was ten or so when this thought had me convinced...

ML said...

you may be on to something with the frozen resurrection. we've been talking about where/how/if we are going to be buried & sam, of course, wants to be fro$$en...ML

tiziana said...

Prima di tutto BEN TORNATI!! So che avete fatto delle belle vacanze.
Anch'io lotto spesso contro le formiche che nonostante tutto lo spazio che hanno fuori, tentano sempre di entrare in casa. PERCHE'? Ma...formiche nel freezer? Formiche che si suicidano? Questa mi ha fatto proprio ridere.
Secondo me le formiche sono come i gatti..hanno sette vite e non muoiono mai.

Lisa said...

Ahahaha! Laughing at the vacuum being thrown in the yard AND Ellen's pirahna story! Too funny, Ellen! I'm thinking I wouldn't sit on that toot for a long, long time, either!

Do you have any ant "granules" you can suck up into your vaccum, Bia, to kill any ants that might have resurrected? 'Cause I'm thinking that there MIGHT be a possibility that they would -- and they'd have plenty to nibble on in a vac bag to survive on...

Ua said...

Ha, ha! What a mystery!!

Tina Fisher said...

Invasion of the ants!

I see you do like to organize! Love it!