An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Guest Blogger: Laura, my sister

Setting the Record Straight (Part 1)

My name is Laura, and I am Bia's sister. That's how I introduce myself to the world: "I am Bia's sister. I am the sister of that nearly perfect woman who authors the blog called La Dolce Vita: the Sweet Life with Three Sons." OK, not really, but those of you who follow this blog and who don't actually KNOW Bia might have thought I was serious. Who can follow this blog and not realize what a wonderful person Bia is? Not only is she creative and intelligent, she is witty, kind, faithful, amazing, and - in short - an inspiration to us all. Am I right?

I am here at Hilton Head Island with my two older sons, spending a few days with Bia and her youngest. Earlier today she said, "Hey, while you're here, you can write a guest post for my blog." My jaw dropped. "What??? I get to write something blog-worthy?!?" I was filled with excitement. Because here was my chance - my long-awaited chance!! - to set the record straight. Yup, you heard me. I'm taking my chance to reveal a few facts about Bia just to reassure you guys that she is, indeed, human. While she does possess all of those wonderful qualities listed above, let's face it - nobody is perfect. And I know that some of you may secretly resent Bia for her apparent perfect-ness, so I plan to do you a favor and put your soul at ease. Because once you know these facts about Bia, you will like her even more.

1. The Mean Streak

I know it's hard to believe. But Bia has a mean streak. It's tiny, and it only manifests on rare occasions. But it's there all right. And you immediately know when it's coming because it is always accompanied by THE EVIL WITCH CACKLE. Believe me, you know it when you hear it. Case in point: during dinner tonight, Bia put down her fork and addressed my youngest son. "Thomas," she said, "I have a question." Cackle, cackle, cackle. Uh-Oh, I think. "You had a banana at snack time, right?" Thomas nods. "I wanted to ask you: how do you manage to make so much NOISE while eating a banana?" cackle, cackle, cackle. More cackling while the poor kid tries to explain that he can't close his mouth while eating because of his overbite. Then the cackling is accompanied by a story of Bia's oldest eating tomatoes and mozzarella with juice dripping from his mouth. Mean, mean, mean. The poor, traumatized children. I heard that cackle when, in the 4th grade, I had a strange bubble on my nose and the doctor took a picture of it. And again when the lamp fell off the ceiling and hit me on that same nose. And again when a can fell out of the cabinet and hit me on the nose! (yes, I have a bumpy nose). And again when my brother tried to eat my turtle... etc. etc. Good thing Bia has all those OTHER good qualities to smother that naughty little mean streak of hers.

2. Her house does not ALWAYS look like a page out of Southern Living

Do you get the teensiest been jealous of Bia's gorgeous, neat home? Well, I do. After a visit with her, I sigh at my messy, cluttered house. But here is some good news: I have been in Bia's house when there were toys scattered everywhere, crumbs on the counters, laundry piled in the corner, dishes in the sink, and a teensy bit of dust on the furniture! Truly! This might have been after a day or two of a visit from her sister (me) and her family, but still... just so you know those picture on her blog are not always accurate. Oh, and right now, our beach condo kitchen is a mess. So there! (Guess who has the mean streak now?)

And so ends Part 1 of Setting the Record Straight. More to come! Oh, by the way, we are having a great time at the beach despite the fact that there is a tremendous thunderstorm outside right now. But it's cool to look out the window at the wicked surf and the empty beach!


Anonymous said...

From Ellen, via facebook:

"Dear Laura, I refuse to believe you. Love, ellie."

tiziana said...

"La vendetta è un piatto che va servito freddo"!!!!
Io sono sempre stata non solo la sorella della Paola, ma anche la sorella della Massimilla (ancora adesso mi chiama sorellina).
Massimilla l'americana, coraggiosa, avventurosa.
Paola l'organizzatrice tutto fare, che risolve qualsiasi situazione, ingegnosa, lavoratrice....e io.... io sono sempre stata la più debole, la più piccola, quella che non andava sulle giostre perchè stava male.
Però, tutto sommato un vantaggio ce l'abbiamo: avremo sempre meno anni di loro (eh! eh!).
Un bacione alle mie "nipotine" ineguagliabili e bravissime scrittrici.
PS:E' appena entrato Luciano e mi ha detto:"Tizi, tu che sei brava (evviva sono brava!!!), mi si è ingarbugliato lo spago, me lo puoi mettere a posto"? Che delusione!!!