An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Monday, September 26, 2011

Shopping 101

*Note: Everything I am thinking appears in italics.

Last Friday our eldest son pulled out a pair of jeans for the first time since last winter with the intention of wearing them on a field trip with his AP Environmental class. The jeans were at least two inches too short.

A few days earlier he had pulled out a dress shirt, tie and khakis, the standard uniform for a school Mass. The shirt sleeves were at least two inches too short.

Please, please, not another shopping trip.

Most of the time I am used to the fact that I am surrounded by boys; stinky clothes, footballs in the house, mind boggling appetites, toilet seats, caveman tendencies . . . all these things I take in stride. But it always takes a shopping trip to remind me that, yes, I am surrounded by boys and that, yes, Purgatory does exist.

"Shopping? Today?! But that's going to ruin my entire Saturday!" moans Nicholas, who would rather be drawn and quartered than go shopping.

Listen here buddy, ol' pal . . . it's no picnic for me, either.

We go to Kohl's where I leave him in the men's section to look for a pair of jeans. Fifteen minutes later I find him wandering aimlessly. According to him, there were too many selections and he didn't see anything he liked. A wall of jeans, and he finds nothing.

Isn't shopping an inherent skill? He must be missing a gene (ha! a pun!), or something. I mean, really, who needs to be taught how to shop? Well, obviously my son. Shopping 101 ... let the class begin.

We find a pair of jeans and two dress shirts but, just to be sure, I insist he step into the torture chamber known as the dressing room. He is grumbling the entire time; according to him, it's a lot smarter to try everything on at home and just return anything that doesn't fit.

Smarter for me to get this done right here and now because I'm not coming back with you. Ever.

He actually likes picking out two ties and is even a little adventurous in his selections. Progress?

A cute 17-year old girl is at the register.

"Wow, you must have a lot of nice places to go," she says to Nicholas, while folding his shirts and coordinating ties.

Nicholas laughs and says it's just a wardrobe update. She asks what school he goes to, what grade he's in, they talk about the friends they have in common . . . yadda, yadda, yadda.

When we walk out of the store Nicholas is grinning; in fact, he's happy. An hour and a half of shopping, and he's happy?

Shopping 101 . . . CLASS CANCELLED.

I don't think I'll be needed anymore.

Page 109: Girls


Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Oh, poor mama!

But I do so love that book. It's a favorite of all of ours, boys and girls alike :)

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

I have heard and witnessed that shopping with girls is much worse. My girlfriend used to send her husband.

Mac never minded shopping, and now he likes it. Of course, he's 25...

tiziana said...

Cara Maria, in tutti questi anni hai insegnato tu ai tuoi ragazzi ad essere gentili ed educati, Nicholas ha solo seguito le tue istruzioni, se poi davanti a lui c'era una graziosa ragazza di 17 anni che colpa ne ha?????
Pensa che fra un paio di anni sarà a studiare in chissà quale università e probabilmente gli piacerà molto ad andare a fare shopping senza la mamma.
Come ti capisco!!!!!

Lisa said...

Heehee! Sometimes all it takes is a cute girl to teach a boy, firsthand, that something like shopping is cool. A think a Mom simply cannot accomplish. :)

deanna said...

The story you told could have been me talking to my daughter! I think I took her back to school shopping twice in 4 years of High School and College. Love shopping with my son:)

UA said...

Nicholas has got it GOING ON! :-)

Suburban Correspondent said...

Believe me, with boys (despite their disinterest) it's way easy. You have no idea what you are missing.