An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Potty Words Make My Wednesday

A seven year old's joke sets the tone for my day ...

"Mom, how do you spell Mississippi?" asks Timothy, as we are driving to school.

"Let's see, M-i-s-s-i-p-p ..." I begin, only to be interrupted.

"Ha! Ha! You said a potty word. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughs Timothy. And he laughs and laughs and laughs.

Apparently I was set up.

He is still laughing when he hops out of the van; on the other hand, I do not laugh because I am too busy mentally preparing myself for a trip to Toys R Us.

Now, before I continue let me just say right here and now that Toys R Us is linked up there with WalMart and Sam's Club in my List of Stores I Absolutely Will Not Enter Unless I Absolutely Have To. NOTHING ever goes well when I enter any of these stores.

This time, however, I survive. I waltz in, find the perfect gift for my two year old nephew, and waltz out. The entire shopping experience takes 10 minutes.

As I am driving away I am congratulating myself. I am even giddy because I have conquered Toys R Us. I think back on Timothy's joke and laugh. I laugh and I laugh.

Then my Mom happens to call, and during the course of the conversation I realize I had purchased a gift for the WRONG NEPHEW!!!!

So, like something out of a nightmare, I drive back to Toys R Us, wait 15 minutes in line to return the gifts, look for a gift for a FOUR YEAR OLD instead of one for a two year old, and then stand in line for ten minutes to purchase the items. I really, really don't like that store; furthermore, they don't even know how to spell.

Things continue to go downhill.

Back at home I make the final arrangements for a beach photo for our Thanksgiving family reunion in Hilton Head. Photographer, date, time, exact beach location ... it's all set up. I confirm everything with the photographer, and just as I am congratulating myself on a job well done it hits me: I just made arrangements to have a photo taken AT THE BEACH.

THE BEACH! What was I thinking? This is a cruel joke because EVERYONE knows how my hair is at the beach. EVERYONE! It's a family joke! Evidently my role on this earth is to make everyone in my family look good. I do all the arranging AND I get to look bad. Great. Just Great.

That's it. I know just what I need ...

"How do you spell cappuccino?" I ask myself, as I turn on the espresso machine.

"Let's see, C-a-p-p ..." and I laugh and laugh.


Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

PP, giggle.

Okay, seriously, if I can spend five days in Baton Rouge in August, you can find an anti-frizz product for a photo shoot.

Besides, you are going to be on a beach over Thanksgiving. I'm surprised I'm even speaking to you!

tiziana said...

Hai fatto ridere tanto anche me!!!

Lisa said...

Heehee! I feel your pain! (And also hate, loathe, despise, detest Toys-R-Us -- but now Walmart... Our relationship goes back so far we overlook each other's shortcomings.)

Ua said...

Awesome! Ask Timothy who put him up to it... he didn't come up with that on his own, I guarantee it! He is too angelic... ha!

MirzSpace said...

I just found your blog and read several of your posts. Good blog; you write well.
I am part Italian (maiden name: Allegrezza).
I'll be back to read more.
Carol Allegrezza Mears

Father Pablo said...

I was set up once by a friend to spell the name of my college, Furman. After the second letter he said, "gosh don't get mad at me for making you spell it!"