Jonathan and I are in his room going through his clothes and sorting them into three piles: stay-at-home clothes, take-to-college clothes, and get-rid-of-these clothes.
“What about this?” I ask, pulling out a blue t-shirt that was bunched in the corner of his sock drawer. It’s from the 2006 World Cup which we purchased in (wait for this) … 2006. (exhibit A)
2006 World Cup Soccer
Yes, we were watching it in Italy.
Yes, Italy won the World Cup that year.
And yes, that is the shirt in question.
“Oh, I’m keeping that,” Jonathan says.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “I never see you wear it anymore.”
“That’s what I use to clean my glasses,” he replies. (exhibit B)
“That shirt is the only thing that works,” he says defensively as he takes the shirt from my hands.
“Jonathan,” I say, as I pull open another drawer. “Look at all these t-shirts. Are you telling me there isn't one other t-shirt in this pile that will clean your glasses?”
The shirt goes in the take-to-college pile so he can clean his glasses in the dorm.
Then I tell him I can take my pinking shears, cut that shirt up into nice little squares, and place them in a decorated box with the following label:
Jonathan’s 2006 World Cup Soccer
(for eyeglasses only)
He laughs because he thinks I am joking.
And I am.