An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Bathing Suit Post I Would Write (but won't)



I planned to write a post about my bathing suit shopping adventure. Really and truly.


I was going to post a photo of my Erin Condren planner where Tuesday, May 24 had been circled for some time. Where, written in purple and circled in red, were the words mall for bathing suit which I had put on the calendar because I knew I would need the entire day.




In my post I would have written about the hour (and ten minutes) I spent at Macy's. How I tried on every style (one piece, two piece, skirted, one shoulder, strapless) and was even willing to try any color (well, solids anyway). I would probably even have mentioned the irony of how, in the end, I bought a cute cover-up ... but no bathing suit.


Then I would have told you about the TWO hours I spent at Dillard's and how the sales associate and I were on a first name basis; how I totally ignored the "six garments at a time" sign at the entrance of the dressing room and instead carried in double that amount; how I probably lost five pounds just by trying on suit after suit; and how I had several piles going: no, definitely no, and what were they thinking?


Maybe I would have even shared my rants:


-Ruffles? Seriously? There is no place you can put a ruffle that wouldn't add unneeded bulk.
-If only they put this top, with those straps, and that bottom.
-"Minimizer" simply means that a body part is displaced to another area of your body.
-Do NOT look at the cover-ups. Do NOT.
-A gold (functioning!) zipper down the front of a bathing suit is just asking for trouble.


In the end I would have mentioned how I bought two suits -- a black one piece (no lectures) and a navy top (bottoms to be figured out later).


So, while I had planned to write a post about my bathing suit shopping adventure, I won't.


I'm still trying to recover.


No comments: