An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

An Italian-American living la dolce vita in the Deep South

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Dear Sons, You're Welcome.

Dear Nicholas and Jonathan,

Dad and I have always taken your education very seriously, but in choosing to live in the south, (where you can be lulled into thinking that the weather is your best friend), you have not learned a fundamental truth on how to handle inclement weather. And since you both speak the language of mathematics, allow me to enlighten you with the following formula:

temperature in the teens + gale force wind = winter coat

Now, this is a subject I've brought up in the past, and each time you have vehemently declared that you do not need a coat. And so I've watched you get by on sweatshirts or hoodies, occasionally coupled with a windbreaker if a snowflake or two happens to fall.

As your mother, I realize that part of your coat denial stems from the fact that you do not like to shop. At all. I understand completely, so today I have taken matters into my own hands which I will now present in the form of a word problem:

If you can't take the boy to the store, take the store to the boy.

That's right. After a busy morning driving here and there, I have now brought the store to you. Right now there are SIX winter coats in varying styles and sizes spread out in the family room. Try them on. I know you will not need to use it very often, but it's nice to have just in case ... you know, for the occasional snowstorm, camping in January, hiking the Himalayas, or THANKSGIVING IN CHICAGO.

So, do your mom a favor, and just pick the one you hate the least.

You're welcome.


Monday, November 17, 2014

"Siri-ously" Confused PERIOD

You know how it goes with sisters. The more tired you are and the later it gets, the more things -- anything, really -- seems funny.

This past Saturday I accompanied my sister to Charleston, and after playing in a tennis tournament (her, not me), watching a tennis tournament (me, not her), driving downtown (and getting lost), walking around downtown (and getting lost), eating dinner at 82 Queen, standing outside in the cold for 30 minutes just to get inside Kominsky's for dessert (yes, we were that determined), and driving back to our hotel (and getting lost) ... we were exhausted.

Which meant anything could set us off at any moment.

Case in point: Siri. You know how you can dictate a text to Siri, and she will record your text and send it along? And you know how, in dictating the text, you also need to dictate the punctuation? Well, late at night my sister whips out her iPhone and has me listen to a voicemail that I had left her earlier in the week. Only ... when I left the voicemail I somehow thought I was dictating a text.

Here was my voicemail, preserved on her iPhone so she can laugh and bribe me into posterity:

Hi, Laura PERIOD Can you call me when you get a chance QUESTION MARK I need to run something by you about our trip to Italy PERIOD Love you EXCLAMATION POINT Talk to you soon EXCLAMATION POINT Bia

Of course, there was something hysterically funny about listening to that voicemail, dictated like a text, punctuation marks and all. And the fact that my voice sounded like Minnie Mouse ... well, the more we laughed the funnier it got.

But this morning reality came crashing down. Now that my sister isn't with me I am thinking more clearly, and I'm not laughing anymore. Laura still has that voicemail, and she'll probably keep it forever.

Yikes DOT DOT DOT not good COMMA not good at all PERIOD

Texting a voicemail QUESTION MARK
Been there COMMA done that PERIOD

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Pizza in Paradise

We have homemade pizza once a week. I usually make my own dough, but if I am short on time I will purchase the raw pizza dough at Publix, roll it out, and then use homemade sauce and fresh ingredients. (On a side note, my Mom makes the best pizza ever. And her dough is ALWAYS homemade.)

Last week I planned a pizza night and decided to try the recipe for Two-Ingredient Pizza Dough that has been popping up here and there on the internet. That's right, two ingredients. All you need is Greek yogurt and self-rising flour.

To be honest, I was skeptical, but I was also willing to give it a try. I combined the two ingredients. I kneaded the dough and rolled it out on a flour surface. And you know what? Don't ask my how or why, but it actually worked.

I am sure you're wondering, though, how it tasted. Well, compared to my regular pizza dough, this one was more dense; also, when I was rolling it there was a tangy smell from the yogurt that I didn't like. But the boys enjoyed the end result,  and with just two ingredients it was definitely very easy.

Would make it again? Probably not. I'll stick to my original recipe.  But here's the thing ... if I am ever stranded on a desert island and I only had Greek yogurt and self-rising flour, it's nice to know I would have everything on hand to whip up a pizza.

Two-ingredient pizza dough: Greek yogurt and self-rising flour.
That's it.

Strangely, it worked.
But I will stick with my regular pizza dough recipe.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

I am an artist at heart, but my execution stinks

Last night a friend organized a Van Gogh and Vino session. It's a wonderful concept: gather a group of friends, and with a glass of wine in one hand and a paintbrush in the other, you are given step-by-step instructions on how to create your very own masterpiece.

Now, I truly believe that I have the soul of an artist. I feel colors with my heart. I dream of shading and brushstrokes. In my mind I see blank canvases of daisies sprinkled with raindrops, a covered bridge on a foggy morning, or an old man napping under the shade of an olive tree.  It's all there ... I can feel it ... but I cannot bring it forth.

Case in point was last night's Van Gogh and Vino session. Maybe there was too much vino and not enough Van Gogh because even though I felt the artist within me stir, by the end of the evening what appeared on canvas did not match what I saw in my heart and soul.

And if I needed any confirmation of the fact that I am not an artist, Joe calls me from work.

"Hey, I saw that painting on the kitchen table this morning," he says. "Did Timothy do that in art class?"


And with that, I rest my case.

I peacock ... or a bowling pin with feathers?

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Timothy in Training

It's basketball season, and Timothy is in training. He even comes up with his own training schedule, and yesterday he spends a good 30 minutes sprinting up and down our driveway, doing pushups, and huffing and puffing up and down stairs.

"Done," he tells me, looking very sweaty but triumphant. "I think I can already feel a pack."

A pack ... as in a six-pack abs. This was Day One of training, and he already feels a pack coming on. But he wants to show me, so he lifts his shirt and stands up tall.

The only pack I see in my skinny boy? Twelve ribs, which I can see very distinctly.

However ... if I squint my eyes ... and let the light fall a certain way ... perhaps ... just maybe I see something?

"Whoa," I tell him. "You need extra dinner tonight."

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Go. Vote.

Nicholas' fall break is over, but before heading back to Clemson we went to vote (his first time!) and then I took him out to lunch to celebrate.