The Spontaneity Gift

Sometimes, all the running around we do to live our lives prevents us from experiencing it, of truly being able to relish a moment in real time.

Schedules, programs, appointments and to-do lists, although immensely useful and wholly practical, can narrow our world.

And cause us to miss out.

To be sure, structure is good. Organization and planners and meal planning help life run smoothly. Even nature provides structure with the rising sun, waning moon, and changing seasons.

But sometimes God gives us a moment, an opportunity, to step off the beaten path to experience something new, or allows plans to go awry so we can see another way, or presents a pause so we can get a peek of color in a world of grey.

Sometimes we are asked to be spontaneous.

Spontaneous, to look one way when everyone else looks another. To turn left instead of right or go instead of stay. To walk in the middle of a run or stop in the middle of a walk. To do something on a Wednesday instead of Tuesday. To put aside the newspaper and read a fairy tale, or reach out instead of holding back.

To be ready, brave, and bold to let go and grasp something new, different, exciting, adventurous, and unplanned.

To embrace the gift of spontaneity and explore a new pathway without a map.  

Only in spontaneity can we be who we truly are.

~Anonymous

The Travel Journal: Interacting with the Travel Experience

When I first saw the movie, The English Patient, I loved the scene when Almasy shows Katharine Clifton his travel journal. Bursting at the seams, the leather notebook is  filled with drawings, observations, maps, and notes of his travels. As a writer and a former avid diary keeper, Almasy's journal fascinated me and has ever since inspired me to keep a journal when traveling, but not for the obvious reason of simply recording my day-to-day adventures; instead, I keep a travel journal because it has taught me to not only experience the world as a traveler, but also as a writer and an artist. 

As a result, I have learned to notice things that would otherwise be overlooked—the ice cream vendor with the disarming smile (and missing front tooth), how the sun filters through sheets drying on a line, the way the raindrops sound on cobblestones, the gnarled hands of the shoe maker, the taste of a flaky pastry while strolling through a market. 

Keeping a travel journal doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes I keep a traditional journal with daily entries, sometimes I simply write lists of things I’ve seen that day, and sometimes it’s a postcard taped onto a page. The important thing to remember is that the act of recording the trip should not prevent you from experiencing the trip. So, during the day I will make a mental note, jot down a single idea, or take a photo to remind me to write about it later--usually in the hotel room that night or on a long bus or train ride.

Travel Journal Ideas

1- Traditional vs. Non-Traditional

Instead of writing entries in a notebook, you can write about your day on the back of a postcard and mail it to yourself. Then, once you get home the postcards will begin arriving to your mailbox, each one with a special memory of your trip. (This is something we have always done with our boys, and they still like looking at those postcards they mailed to themselves years ago.) You can also journal with photos (in the past, I've done highlights of each day in five photos) or think of your journal as a scrapbook and fill it with postcards, brochures, ticket stubs, train tickets, restaurant napkins, or even a candy wrappers.

                                                             2- Bullet Points

If I am planning a big trip I like to prep my journal ahead of time by giving pages specific titles. For example ...

Before the Trip

(In which I jot down notes, lists, flights, and planned itinerary.)

(Sometimes I also include packing lists.) 

Quote of the Day 

(While traveling I like to write down things people say ... the funny, profound, insane.)

(This was one of my favorite journaling inspirations from our last trip)

  People I Meet 

(I like to describe some of the people I meet, 

everyone from the quirky tour guide, to the grumpy waiter, to the handsome boat captain.)

What I Ate

(How many times did I eat a gelato? Or what was my favorite meal of the entire trip?)

(Sometimes I will take a photo of a dish that I want to recreate once I return home)

 Things I purchased

(Not only what, but where, with whom, when, and why.)

(There is always a story behind a purchase.)

 Wow moments 

(What moved me? What made me smile, cry, angry, or amazed?

What rendered me speechless?)

 Things I Learned

(Because when I travel, I am always learning.)

from the files of very bad poetry by bia

(This is my tagline because sometimes I am inspired to write a poem.)

Where in the World is Bia?

(Nothing says "travel journal" like a good map.)

(Maps. Drawn, sketched, torn from a book.)

3- Traveler, Writer, Artist

Not everyone is a writer, so if you are more artistic, sketch a gondola, a pot of blooming geraniums, the mountain goat. If you're a musician, take photos of every street musician you encounter. If you're a dancer, join in a folk dance and then tell the story through a video, a photo, or a written description. If you are a chef, turn your travel journal into a recipe book. 

4- Final Words

Finally, during my travels I want to step confidently, explore boldly and, most importantly, experience wholly. I want to be fully present in the place I am visiting, and part of being fully present is interacting with the experience. A travel journal helps me do this. 

What ... Life Lately in Quick takes

 1-What I'm (simultaneously) reading ...

-The Paris Apartment (for book club)

-Remarkably Bright Creatures (audio book)

-Shogun (I may finish it by the end of the year 😉)

-Two cookbooks: 1/ Italy on a Plate (Travels, Memories, Menus) by Susan Gravely and 2/ Pasta Veloce by Frances Mayes, et al)

2-What I'm watching ...

-after watching The Tudors, I moved on to The White Queen and then The White Princess (go ahead, ask me anything about The War of the Roses)

-The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (Nicolas Cage movie, quirky and funny)

3-What I'm behind on ...

-shopping for a mother-of-the-groom dress

 

4-What I’m doing this week …

-shopping for a mother-of-the-groom dress (online, Augusta, Columbia, Atlanta, Greenville)

 

5-What I am eating …

 -nothing, due to the mother-of-the-groom dress fittings

 

6-What makes me smile

-no. 6 above because OF COURSE I am eating

 

7- What made me laugh out loud

-Timothy saying “stick resistance” instead of “cooking spray”

 

8- What I need to plan …

-shore excursions for an Alaskan cruise (Bike ride and hike along Silver Bay and through Tongass National Forest? Grizzly Falls ziplining? Dog sledding? Whale watching? Mendenhall Glacier?)

**Any recommendations appreciated!**

 

9-What quote best describes me ...

Bia-the-Brave Chickens Out

How fast they fall. And by "they" I mean me. 

Last night, flushed in a dual victory in which I won Bunco Bingo (first time EVER winning Bingo as I have been a loser in that game since fourth grade) AND I came in first place during Bunco. It was a duo win. A big night! 

But then I toppled from my pedestal.

When I got home and entered our back door (in the dark, mind you) a GIANT, JURASSIC-SIZED flying creature flew into my hair. I have never seen the like: three inches long, almost as thick, with lightning speed and a buzzing sound that rivaled a lawn mower.

You can imagine my panic. I dropped all my bags and, waving my arms, ran out of the laundry room and slammed the door. With my heart beating out of control, I could hear that THING, buzzing and banging against the walls.

Now, Bia-the-Bug-Killer I am not. I leave that job for Joe or Timothy. But one is in Kansas City and the other in Athens, so I would have to manage THE THING all by myself. I would have to be Bia-the-Brave.

Except I wasn't. When I slowly opened the door that thing flew straight at me. So I slammed the door shut again and stuffed towels underneath so that THING would be imprisoned in the laundry room. 

Where it has remained all night. 

So now, this morning, I have a dilemma. I am all dressed for a canal walk EXCEPT for my sneakers, which are in the laundry room. My winning prizes are in the laundry room, one of which I was going to have with breakfast. My purse and car keys are still in the laundry room and I have some errands to run later this morning.

I will have to do battle, I see that now. I will have to wage war and reconquer my laundry room. 

At some point. Maybe after I finish this post. And have a cappuccino. And check my email.

You know, maybe I will just skip the walk.

Bia-the-Brave ignoring the issue. That I can do. 

The Heart of a Lion, Still

This weekend my father was in the hospital again due to ongoing heart issues. And he STILL has the heart of a lion ...

Let me tell you about my dad. He will be 81 years old this October. He doesn’t smoke, and he doesn’t have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes. He eats healthy meals. He works out and plays golf. And yet, he has heart disease. He’s had two bypass surgeries (the first one at age 40) and over the years has endured numerous cardiac catheterizations, stents, stress tests, and hospitalizations. 

Why am I telling you this? Because despite all this, my dad never complains. He’s poked and prodded and patched up, but still he smiles. He jokes with the doctors and charms the nursing staff and flatters the technicians. Everyone likes him .... really, really likes him.

After yet another hospital stay and multiple tests, he is home again. Like always he’s not going to let heart disease stop him. He will continue to play golf, fish, tell corny jokes, and cook for church spaghetti suppers and fish fries. He is not going to allow heart disease stop him. 

The heart of a lion he has. 

Hear him roar.

When Your College Student Doesn't Call Home

I’m going to begin with a disclaimer: I have sons – three of them – and so any advice I have is a result of the male mindset. From what I hear, it seems as if daughters are better than sons about emailing, texting, calling, and being more communicative, but I’m aware that this is a huge generalization. There are daughters who don’t call home, just as I know there are sons who faithfully call their moms. In our household, we fall somewhere in-between -- sometimes they call, and sometimes they don't. But now that we have two done finished with college, and one about to start his sophomore year, here is what we've learned along the way.

1. When our sons don’t call home it doesn’t mean they don’t love us. Or need us. Believe me, the second they need their winter jacket or help with a resume, they will call. And they will be so nice about it.
2. We ask for one day a week – we let them choose – in which they are expected to call home. This puts the ball in their court and allows them to take the lead. A friend of mine once told me that she had to train her sons in this area, and I am so glad took her advice. For us, Sunday evening is the time we catch up with our sons. That doesn’t mean we don’t/can’t talk during the week, but at least on Sunday evening our sons take a break from their busy college lives and think of their family back home. Sometimes the call comes in the afternoon, sometimes in the evening, and sometimes late at night – but that’s okay.
3. They are expected to respond to our texts.  We have watched our sons arrive late for dinner, stop in the middle of a conversation, or rush out at the end of church in order to answer a text from a friend. We know they will do anything to answer a text, and as parents we deserve the same courtesy. But there is a caveat . . . and it is IMPORTANT so listen up: We do not text our sons all they time. They need their space, and the last thing we want to do is hover-text (and yes, I just made up that word).
4. When they call, we don’t grill them about everything they’ve been doing. It’s a conversation, which means information flows both ways. They share a little of their life and then we give them some news from home. For them to hear about Dad’s new car, their baby brother’s latest Lego creation, or what we did for Friday Family Night will remind them that we are still family and that they are still an important part of it … even though they are way over there, and we are over here.

Of course, things happen. Sometimes they will “forget” to text back, sometimes Sunday’s call comes Monday morning, and sometimes they call but aren’t talkative, but it’s all good. Besides, I know how to get the communication flowing ...

Two words: Care Package

The Swatch Watch

Last October, we were in the Fiumicino Airport in Rome waiting to board our flight for home. Our time in Rome was the result of a cancelled flight, and the unexpected gift meant 24 hours in the Eternal City—St. Peter’s Square, a dinner in Piazza Navona, the Trevi Fountain at midnight, and an Aperol Spritz on a rooftop bar with a nighttime view of the city. So when I saw this watch in the Swatch store at the airport, it was meant to be. Now, whenever I wear it, I am reminded of that magical 24 hours in Rome.

The Baby at Mass

Dear God,

I’m sorry for my mind wandering during Mass.

Instead of focusing on the liturgy, my focus was on the little three-month-old baby asleep on his grandfather’s shoulder. They were sitting directly in front of us, and I watched the baby’s chest rise and fall with the sweet sleep of an innocent. And my mind wandered …

to the memory of nursing our son in the darkness before dawn, those times some of the most peaceful of my life;

to the feel of a baby’s breath when you hold them close;

to a baby’s trusting look when I bathed him or changed his diaper;

and to the wonder of our three babies, now grown, healthy and strong.

And then the little baby in front of me at Mass stirred, lifted his head, and looked directly at me. He smiled. When his grandfather gently rocked and patted his back, the baby put his head down and fell back asleep. And my mind wandered …

to babies living in poverty and squalor;

to babies who are sick and battling diseases that should not be part of a baby’s world;

to babies who are unloved and unwanted;

and to babies who are denied life.

So, God, I was not as attentive during Mass as I should have been. I was distracted, and I allowed my mind to wander. But God, I can’t help feeling you know my heart and that you recognized my wayward thoughts as prayers ...

for babies yesterday, today, and tomorrow;

for babies loved and unloved;

for babies yet unborn;

and for the wonder and awe of Creation and the Gift of Life.

Speak to Me Sunday: The Seven Acts of Mercy

Many of you know of my love for Caravaggio. During a free afternoon in Naples last October, a small group of us visited one of Caravaggio’s most famous paintings, Le sette opere di Misericordia (The Seven Acts of Mercy).

Amazingly, we were the only ones present, and standing in front of this masterpiece I quietly read aloud from my notes as we immersed ourselves into the drama of the painting.

A little art appreciation on a Sunday afternoon does the soul good (that is my theory, anyway) so here are my notes. As you read, it is helpful to refer to the photo; you can even continue the art lesson with the Details to Note. 

The Seven Acts of Mercy (refer to the image below)

1.      Bury the Dead

In the center background, two men carry a dead man (only his feet are visible). A man is holding a candle (the only light source) and based on his garments he is a priest. The man in the dark colored shirt is believed to be the grave digger.

2.      Shelter the Homeless

Third from left, a bearded man with a scallop shell on his hat is asking for shelter. He is a pilgrim. The man directly in front of him is the innkeeper who indicates with his finger (pointing out of the canvas) that he has room and will offer shelter.

The scallop shell is the mark of a pilgrim and is connected to the story of St. James the Great (a disciple of Christ). Today the Camino de Santiago (Way of St. James) uses the scallop shell as mile markers on the pilgrim’s path to Santiago de Compostela in Spain. Additionally, scallop shells are often found on baptismal fonts and often used to scoop the water over the head of those being baptized. 

3.      Clothe the Naked

The fourth figure from the left is St. Martin of Tours who is tearing his robe in half to give it to the naked beggar in the foreground. Above the beggar’s shoulder, St. Martin’s sword appears as a slash of white as he has just used it to slice the fabric.

The legend of St. Martin, a Roman soldier stationed in Gaul, was that he saw a beggar as he approached the city gates. Determined to help, he removed his military cloak and cut it in two and wrapped the beggar with one half. That night, St. Martin had a dream in which he saw Jesus wearing the cloak and telling the angels of the man who had shared it with him. St. Martin believed the dream offered the message that caring for the poor is like caring for Christ. Eventually, the cloak of St. Martin became a relic.

4.      Visit the Sick

The next portion of Caravaggio’s Seven Works of Mercy is the hardest to see, probably due to the darkening of the canvas over time. In the front of the painting and next to the beggar’s left arm, you will notice a foot, indicating there is another man in this section (his face is just below St. Martin’s sword). This is the sick man, perhaps crippled given the angle of his foot.

Standing over the sick man is the pilgrim in a dual role since he is painted as Christ healing the crippled man.

5.      Refresh the Thirsty

Standing between the pilgrim and the innkeeper is a wild, bearded man drinking from a bone, the water splashing onto his face. This man is Samson (yes, from Samson and Delilah). But this image references a different story from Judges 15 when Samson was fighting the Philistines and used the jawbone of a donkey to kill a thousand men. After the battle, Samson was thirsty so God opened up the jawbone and water came out of it to revive Samson.

Admittedly, Caravaggio’s inclusion of this story was confusing. He was meant to portray the seven mercies, or kindnesses, performed by humans for each other, but in Samson’s case God is the one performing the kindness.

6-7    Visit the Imprisoned, Feed the Hungry

These next two Acts of Mercy are combined into one image of the woman breastfeeding a man in prison. While unusual in modern contexts, the story was a familiar one of the time (Roman in origin) and occasionally appeared in other works of art.

Details to Note:

1-     Always in trouble with the law, Caravaggio took refuge in Naples after he committed a murder in Rome during a violent argument. It was during this exile that he painted this masterpiece.

2-     Caravaggio is known for his chiaroscuro painting technique which uses the contrast of light and dark for dramatic effect. His dark paintings usually contain a light source to draw the eye to important details. In this painting, the man carrying the candle provides the only light source, perhaps a metaphor for mercy as the acts themselves illuminate darkness.

3-     He received the commission to depict the Seven Works of Mercy for Pio Monte della Misericordia (a charitable organization) founded by seven noblemen of Naples in order to care for the poor. It is still in operation today.  

4-     One of the most important documents in the church’s archives is an invoice, dated 14 October 1607, for 400 ducats in payment to Caravaggio for the painting.

5-     The Works of Mercy are based on verses from the Gospel of Matthew; the only one not mentioned in Matthew is Bury the Dead (it is referenced in the Book of Tobit where burying the dead is mentioned as an important work of charity).

6-     While the Seven Works of Mercy are usually depicted in seven separate scenes, Caravaggio chose to combine all seven works of mercy into one composition, which became the church’s altarpiece.

7-     The work is divided into two parts: the top half is celestial (with angels and Mary with the Christ child observing the action below); the bottom half is terrestrial, or the earthly realm.

8-     The angel’s hand, reaching toward the lower figures, is a slash of light through darkness serving to connect the two halves of the painting. The open pose of his hand is associated with giving a blessing.

Pink here, Pink there, Pink Everywhere

There is a certain movie in theaters that has us seeing pink, even in this old photo I found. Notice our smiles. It was a great Christmas ... bikes AND a Barbie Townhouse!

Now, I am not ashamed to admit this, but I LOVED playing with my Barbie dolls. My sister, not so much. Most of the time I had to bribe her to play with me. And then, for a long time we only had ONE Ken doll, so we would argue about whose Barbie got to have the Ken. Sheesh.

Now that I think about it, Barbie caused a lot of drama. Even then.

Musing from a Golf Course in the Rain

I am a good sport because I could be curled up on the sofa with a good book. Instead, I am on a golf course with my guys. In the rain.

They really wanted me to come and I am not sure why. I mean, when I go golfing with them I speak when I shouldn’t, ask stupid questions, take photos, and check Facebook. Oh, I also drive a golf cart and offer words of encouragement.

So I’m on a golf course. In the rain. But I’m wearing a cardigan and it’s actually chilly and when does that ever happen in August?

We finally took cover under a tin roof shed to let the storm pass and eat the lunch I packed: grilled panini with tomatoes, salami, prosciutto, and provolone.

Wait. Do you think THAT is why I was asked to come? I mean, is it me or my grilled panini?

Such deep questions on a golf course in the rain.

Your Wednesday was better

 

I bet your Wednesday was way more fun than my Wednesday.

How do I know?

I know because YOU weren’t involved with Back-to-School Part I to help Timothy move into a house for his sophomore year at UGA.

I know you had more fun because you weren’t cleaning tubs, Cinderella mopping a bathroom floor, and wiping dusty blinds. Or waging battle with a roach. (The rental was clean, but not Mom Clean.)

And I know because you weren’t assembling a bed, dresser, and desk … all of which came with a gazillion parts. At one point I interrupted my kitchen wipe down to check on the guys who were stony silent, never a good sign. (The silence was due to the fact that both of them forgot to bring an essential tool. But with one an engineer and one a soon-to-be engineer, they figured it out.)

Yes, your Wednesday was more fun. I’m sure.

Then we went to lunch and I decided to be bold and order a chicken & waffle sandwich. I’ve never had chicken & waffles because I never got it … and I STILL don’t get it.

So. Not only was your Wednesday more fun, but you probably had a better lunch.

But fun or not, we got a lot done and that always feels good. I’ll worry about Part II next week.

P.S. Timothy and I are very proud of that desk/chair combo. Chair purchased at CSS: $15/ Desk from Big Lots: on sale for $30

P.P.S. The toaster was a housewarming gift from Timothy’s friend, and fellow roommate, who has a great sense of humor.