One Good Deed a Day: Seek out the Lonely

Once upon a time I purchased three books at a used book sale held at our local library. The books, beautifully bound in chocolate brown leather, were by Rudyard Kipling -- The Phantom Rickshaw, In Black and White, and Soldiers Three. I knew they would look lovely on the bookshelves in our study.


When I got home I was looking through The Phantom Rickshaw when a piece of paper fell out. There is something magical about finding notes or letters in old books; I once purchased an old copy of The Pilgrim's Progress and the inside cover was inscribed to Lucille Tyson by the Bible Memory Association for memorizing scripture. I love things like that. But this time, the paper that fell out of the book was a German marriage certificate between a German woman and an American man. I don't remember the exact year, but it was a few years after WWII.


I held that marriage certificate in my hands and intuitively knew I had to return it to the family. It didn't matter I had found it in a used book from a used book sale, or that the book may have been donated multiple times, or that the couple might be deceased. I just had a feeling that I needed to give it back.


It was easier than I thought. I looked in the phone book and found ONE person with the same last name as on the marriage certificate. I called the number, and when a woman answered I explained why I was calling.


To my horror, the woman started crying. Yes, she was the woman listed on the marriage certificate but her husband had passed away a few months earlier. Yes, the books I had purchased at the used book sale were her husband's which she had recently donated and, no, she didn't realize the marriage certificate was folded inside. Then she asked, hesitantly and through tears, if I could bring it to her because she didn't have a car.


And so I did.


Afterwards, I began to visit her regularly. She was incredibly lonely; she and her husband never had any children and her family lived far away. She didn't drive, so other than two friends who picked her up occasionally to go shopping, she mostly stayed home. Whenever I visited we looked at her old photo albums, I listened to the heart-wrenching details of her husband's death from cancer, I drove her to the cemetery so she could visit her husband's grave, and twice she came to have dinner with my family.


Eventually she moved away and we lost contact, but even after all these years it seems so extraordinary (and humbling) to realize how a note, a sign, or an unexplained feeling can be God's way of nudging us to GO, SEEK, or FIND; that something as simple as a used book and a marriage certificate can send us in a direction we don't understand, but somehow -- amazingly and miraculously -- it all works out.

Gardens are not made by singing,

'Oh, how beautiful,'

and sitting in the shade.

~Rudyard Kipling



One Good Deed a Day: The Wonderful Interconnectedness of Humanity

Be the stranger that leaves a mark in someone's life.


Once upon a time a stranger helped me, and when I heard he had passed away I wrote a letter to his family ...

Dear ~~~ Family,

You don’t know me and we have never met. But allow me to tell you a story …

A few years ago I drove to Columbia, SC to attend my sister’s baby shower. With me was my youngest son, who was four years old at the time.

When we left my sister’s to return home, an SUV of teens coming back from the lake entered a traffic circle at high speed and plowed into our van. The impact was shocking, and when the two vehicles finally came to a rest there were tire marks, debris, and broken glass spread over two lanes.

While my son and I were shaken, neither we nor the occupants of the SUV were injured.

When I dialed 911 and the operator requested the location, I was at a total loss; my sister’s family had recently moved to this area, and I didn’t even know the name of the street I was on. Suddenly, a driver pulled up behind me, parked, and got out of the car to see if we were okay. I handed him my cell phone, and he gave the operator all the information. Afterwards, he picked up car parts from the middle of the street (a bumper, a side view mirror, two hubcaps) and before I could thank him for his help he drove off.

It was a very hot afternoon, and as my son and I stood in the shade waiting for the police, this same man returned. He said he had noticed from our license plate that we were from out of state and thought that we could probably use this … and he handed me a bag with inside several juice boxes, several sleeves of Oreo cookies, and two Diet Cokes.

Juices boxes, Oreo cookies, Diet Cokes. Just like that I was reminded of how, even in the midst of bad things, there is also such goodness in this world.

I later learned his name was Chaz, and over the years I would mention him to demonstrate the tremendous love, healing and power that can be found in reaching out to a stranger.

And so I'm writing to you today to tell you this story. No, you don’t know me and we have never met. But once upon a time I briefly met Chaz, and although I heard today that he no longer is with us on this earth, please know that he will forever be in the corner of my heart where cherished memories are stored.

God bless,
Maria

One Good Deed a Day: Recognize that Everyone Has a Story

Behind dirt, poverty, ignorance, addiction, race, and ethnicity is a person. Behind the grime, body odor, and dirty fingernails is a story. And everyone's story matters. Each one is important.


Sometimes, we are called to act without knowing the story.


And this is where faith comes in ...

A tourist took this photo of NYC policeman, Larry DePrimo, presenting
thermal socks and all-weather boots to a homeless man in Times Square.
Then he knelt and helped the man put them on.
You can read the entire story here.

Sometimes, Maybe is Good Enough

By: Maria Novajosky, Guest Columnist
*published in the Columbia County News-Times (October 14, 2015)

"Please, Miss, can we have some money for food?"

I had just come out of Hobby Lobby and was walking to my car when I was approached by a little girl pushing a battered umbrella stroller. With her was an elderly woman carrying a tiny infant and another younger woman; they all looked tired, poor and unkempt.

"Where do you want to eat?" I asked.

 "Anywhere," said the girl.

I was hungry, too. It was almost 1:30 and I was in a hurry to get home. I even knew exactly what I was going to have for lunch:  homemade bread, tomatoes, cheese, and a cold glass of water with a slice of lemon. Not only did I have the luxury of having fresh, healthy food available, but I had the luxury of choice. All I had to do was get in my car and in fifteen minutes I would be home. There were no worries on my part – it was all there waiting for me. 

But this little girl was worried enough to ask a stranger for help.
               

Food. Water. Shelter. Safety. Such basics in life, and yet there are many people locally who don't have these things. As we live and work in our nice city, driving home at the end of the day to relax in our homes or enjoy dinner on the back deck, it is tempting to ignore the man on the side of I-20 with a Will Work for Food sign, or a bag lady pushing a shopping cart filled with junk, or a hungry girl in a parking lot because, after all, we aren't in Africa, Indonesia, Haiti, Calcutta, or Syria.

               

To further communicate matters, life is messy. In our ongoing quest to find the perfect job, have the perfect marriage, raise perfect children, and develop perfect bodies we do not like to be reminded that, in fact, we are living in an imperfect world. We don't want to be in the position to need help, or to complicate our lives by becoming involved, or to face moral decisions of what is the right thing to do.
               

Because we aren't faced with situations like these on a daily basis, it is easy to become suspicious, fearful, and even judgmental. It’s easy to place blame at the feet of those needing help. And it’s all too easy to lose sight of the fact that everyone is so much more than what we see; that beneath the dirt, grime, hunger, mental illness, and poverty is a person with a story.
               

I didn't know that little girl's story; I didn’t know her name, her age, or where she went to school. All I knew was that she was hungry enough to ask a stranger for food. And so I gave them what they needed.
               

Was I conned?

               

Maybe I was but, then again, maybe I wasn't. The fact is I don’t know.

               

But in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? I had something that maybe they needed, and maybe was good enough for me.

Afterword: Strangely enough, of all the things I've had published this one struck a chord ... and not in a good way. I received a couple very nasty letters saying what I did enabled and perpetuated the problem. What do you think?

One Good Deed a Day: Those in Authority

If you have the power, means or authority to make a change, do it.


Sr. Gaudiosa, a nun from Tanzania, is a sister to me in every way but blood. She is part of our family and many times we have welcomed her into our home.


Once, after spending a couple of weeks with us, we drove Sr. Gaudiosa to the airport and, as we were helping her check her luggage, the airline check-in agent said that both suitcases were overweight and she would have to pay extra. It was a pretty hefty fine.

I looked at the agent and said, "Everything, absolutely everything she owns in this world is in these two suitcases."

And I knew what I was talking about because I had helped her pack them. Inside were her habits made from thick, blue material, her sturdy black shoes, a winter coat that we had purchased for her, stationery, and some toiletries. That was it.

The agent didn't say anything, and as he continued to type on his keyboard my husband got out his wallet to pay the fine.

Except there wasn't one.

When the agent loaded the suitcases on the conveyer belt he looked up and said, "Don't worry, I took care of it. Have a safe flight, Sister."

And he smiled.

One Good Deed a Day

Perform a kindness, but do it anonymously.

There is nothing so uplifting as being the recipient of a kind deed. And when that action is done anonymously, the kindness is taken to another level because the anonymity itself becomes a gift  -- a way of saying: This is for you. There is no need to say thanks, or feel beholden. Take this, I give it freely.

Twenty years I was teaching high school in a rough neighborhood when I had to be present at a parent conference in the principal's office. It wasn't one of my students, but I had witnessed an incident and had to be there. The entire situation was ugly, the parents were hateful, and when the conference was over I returned to my classroom in tears.

The next morning I arrived early to school and found a beautiful flower arrangement on my desk. The vase was ceramic, made to look like a stack of books, which made it the most perfect gift for an English/Spanish teacher.

Best of all, nestled among the flowers was a lovely, encouraging note telling me how I was making a difference in the lives of my students. The note was unsigned.

I never found out who sent the flowers or who wrote that kind note, but I have never forgotten.


Ever.

One Good Deed a Day

Compliment someone.

The Kindness Challenge

1- The inspiration for this post.

Thanksgiving week I came across a book called One Good Deed a Day. Basically, it's a journal with daily ideas for doing something kind. As I stood there flipping the pages and reading the different entries, I was reminded that being good, or kind, or thoughtful sometimes requires purposeful intention. I bought the book, and ...

 

2- ... came across this story. Tissues, anyone?

A tourist took this photo of NYC policeman, Larry DePrimo, presenting thermal socks and all-weather boots to a homeless man in Times Square. Then he knelt and helped the man put them on. You can read the entire story here.

3- Which reminded me of an airline ticket agent.

Once, after spending a couple of weeks with us, we drove Sr. Gaudiosa to the airport and, as we were helping her check in, the agent said that both suitcases were overweight and she would have to pay extra. It was a pretty hefty fine.

I looked at the agent and said, "Everything she owns in this world is in these two suitcases."

And I knew what I was talking about because I had helped her pack them: her habits made from thick, blue material, her black shoes, and some toiletries. That's about it.

The agent didn't say anything, and my husband got out his wallet to pay the fine.

Except there wasn't one.

When the agent took the suitcases he said, "Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Have a safe flight, Sister."

And he smiled.

Sr. Gaudiosa

4- And let's talk about the kindness of strangers.

Once upon a time a stranger stopped to help me after I had a car accident. He called 911 for me, and stayed with me until the police arrived. Later, he returned with some cold Diet Cokes for me and some Oreo cookies and juice boxes for my son. His name was Chaz, and a couple of years later I heard he had passed away. Here's the letter I wrote his family.

5- An anonymous gift.

During my second year teaching high school in a rough neighborhood I had to be present at a parent conference held in the principal's office. It wasn't one of my students, but I had witnessed an incident and had to be there. It was ugly, the parents were hateful, and I left in tears. I was both frustrated and disillusioned.

The next morning I got to school and on my desk was a beautiful flower arrangement in a ceramic vase designed to look like stacked books. There was a lovely, encouraging note ... unsigned. I never found out who sent them.

6- Little things make a huge difference.

The sales clerk who gave me the sale price when I didn't have a coupon; our neighbor who picked up our newspapers when we were out of town; the thank you note with the Starbucks gift card I received for a small favor; a new friend in my Body Pump class who set up my step and weights for me in my usual spot; the stranger who complimented my outfit; the young man at a carnival who won a prize and gave it to our son who didn't win.

 It goes on and on.

 

7- Now it's your turn ...

~Forgive someone.

~Strike up a conversation.

~Be happy for someone.

~Compliment a complete stranger.

~Listen.

~Be the first to apologize.

~Make art.

~Stop obsessing.

~Withhold judgement.

~Let it go.

~Befriend someone new.

 

 

 

*Now, go visit Jen at Conversion Diary. She's kind enough to host this event every Friday.