Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 8, Books of 2019 (including Top Three)

For Christmas, it seems EVERYONE gave me a book. And that's a perfect Christmas.

As I begin to delve into my stack of books, I want to take a moment to list my TOP THREE books of 2019. If you're interested in the entire list you can scroll below; the list isn't complete because I listened to some books on Audible, and there were many I forgot to write down. As you can see I also rated the books--know that I don't give out five stars lightly.

Anyway, here are my top choices from last year:

TOP THREE BOOKS OF 2019

Where the Crawdads Sing (Delia Owens) *****
So beautifully written. Almost lyrical, poetic. Delia Owens came to Augusta to speak when I was out of the country, so a sweet friend attended and brought me back an autographed copy.

A Gentleman in Moscow (Amor Towles)*****
This made my top three for 2018, but I read it again in 2019 and it STILL made my top list. And if I can get my Book Club to select it, I'll read it AGAIN this year. You can't learn too much Russian history.

The Secret History (Donna Tartt)*****
I first read Tartt's The Goldfinch to see what the fuss was about. I really, really liked that book and decided to read this one, which I also really, really liked. Maybe even a little more.

Honorable Mention

Lost for Words (Stephanie Butland)*****
A bookshop, a girl with a secret past, poetry readings, a good guy, a bad guy ... this book made me cry. In good ways, and sad ways. Touching. Endearing. Moving.

Reading list for 2019

I Know this Much is True (Wally Lamb) *****
Gritty. Harsh. Beautiful. Reminded me of Pat Conroy's books.

Ghosted (Rosie Walsh)***
I had never heard of the term "ghosted" but now I know! While I enjoyed the book I gave it three stars because the main character didn't act logically. In our book club everyone wondered why the main character just didn't go to the guy's house and simply confront him.

The Bookshop (Penelope Fitzgerald) ****
The last line in the novel inspired our Book Club to come up with our own interpretation of the book's ending.

Where'd You Go Bernadette? (Maria Semple)****
Read the book, saw the move. The book was much better.

A Man Called Ove (Fredrik Backman)*****
Quirky. Endearing. A story of love.

A Place to Call Home (Deborah Smith)****
Historical fiction with a splash of romance. Takes place in the South, so lots of quirky humor.

Radium Girls (Kate Moore)****
Yikes. Don't get a toothache or you'll imagine all sorts of horrid things. Don't get x-rays, either.

Killers of the Flower Moon (David Grann)*****
My son gave me this book. True story of the Osage Indian murders and the birth of the FBI.

The Scribe of Siena (Melodie Winawer)***
Great premise, but felt the author missed the opportunity to make this a great book.

My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me (Jennifer Teege)***
Saw her speak. Fascinating story, but found the book cold and impersonal.

Innocence (Dean Koontz)****
This is a book I will have to read again, slowly this time so I can ponder. I jotted down some quotes that I found profound.

The Goldfinch (Donna Tartt)*****
The reviews for this book were all over the place, but I loved it so much I then read her other book, The Secret History, which made my top three for the year.

Game of Thrones, Books 1-3 (George R. R. Martin)****
Haven't seen the television series, but really liked the books. My son had to help me keep the characters' names straight. Still working on the fourth one ...

Bury Your Dead, The Brutal Telling, A Fatal Grace, Still Life (Louise Penny)****
I haven't read all the Chief Inspector Gamache series, but I'm working on it.

The Things We Cannot Say (Kelly Rimmer)**
Interestingly, many blogs rated this book as a favorite. I found it ponderous and predictable. I started skimming just to get to the end already.

Brunelleschi's Dome (Ross King)***
When you're taking a group to Florence, you read this book. Then you can teach everyone in the group about Brunelleschi.

Misery (Stephen King)***
We happened to watch the movie one afternoon, so I had to read the book. Annie is even more horrid in the book.

Bill Hodges Trilogy: Mr. Mercedes, Finders Keepers, End of Watch (Stephen King)***
I remember reading these books over a period of two weeks (after watching and reading Misery). I remember liking them. But when I sat down to compile this list I couldn't really remember what they were about.

A Room with a View (E.M. Forster)*****
When you're planning a trip to Italy, this is a must read. Love the book, love the movie.

Lord of the Flies (William Golding)***
In high school I read this book because I had to; when my son had to read it for his literature class, he asked if I could read it too so we could discuss it together. I get why it's a classic, and I understand why it's required reading, but it's still not a favorite. My son wasn't thrilled with it either.

Around the Fire Pit

When a member of our Book Club suggested we read Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca for October, I knew right away it would be the perfect novel for a month which is all about ghosts and goblins.

To mirror the Gothic mood of the book, we took Book Club outside where, sitting around a fire pit, we discussed symbolism, foreshadowing, redemption, evil, and dreams. There must be something about a fire because we delved into that novel. We explored, analyzed, critiqued, and dissected.

We also came prepared to give the nameless heroine a name. Here were some of the suggestions: Frances, Daphne, Clementine, Angelina, Anastasia, Persimmon, and Rhododendron (and if you've read the novel then you know how that last suggestion makes perfect sense).

It was a lovely evening, and that night I didn't dream I went to Manderley again; rather, I thought about how grateful I was for that time around a fire, eating s'mores and drinking apple cider (or wine), all while discussing a good book with a group of wise, witty, and insightful women.

Me Before You: Book vs. Movie

The book vs. the movie

Amazingly, the movie stayed (mostly) true to the book. Events unfold just as they do in the book and the same conversations take place. There were some things left out – Mr. Traynor’s infidelity, the estrangement of Will’s parents, the side story of Lou’s sister – and while those omission didn’t affect the flow of the story I was disappointed that they left out the entire episode of Lou getting lost in the maze. For me, that was a big moment in the book when Will, despite being confined to a wheelchair, becomes the hero when he rescues her, comforts her, and helps her to face her demons.

The characters

They could not have found a more perfect actress to play Lou. She was cute, funny, self-effacing, brave, loving – basically everything you imagined her to be. Really, all the characters were spot on. I especially loved Lou’s boyfriend (also known as Running Man) who, in his all self-centeredness, was oddly endearing.  And if you think he reminds you of Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter series, why, you would be correct. He’s all grown up, now. And funny.

Did you notice …

I’ve read the book three times. I’ve seen the movie. Here are a few interesting interpretations, insights, symbolisms, and ironies I noticed:

-Lou is caring for a man who cannot walk while dating someone who is training for a triathlon.

-It’s interesting that the author chose the name Will who, in the end, no longer has the will to live.

-The title, Me Before You, can be interpreted a variety of ways: Will before meeting Lou or, conversely, Lou before meeting Will – or more simply, who I was before I met you. But critics of the book have pointed out that the title can also be viewed as me before you (a selfish attitude) as opposed to you before me (a sacrifice).

-In the book, Lou’s mother is one of the most vocal against Will’s decision. Her viewpoint is strongly maternal, and in the movie it is not a coincidence that she is wearing a gold cross necklace.

Dignitas

When I first read the book I had never heard of Dignitas and so I googled it, thinking that the author, Jojo Moyes, had made it up. She didn’t. The Dignitas motto, To live with dignity – to die with dignity, highlights the association’s goal of providing counseling with regard to all end of life issues including accompaniment of dying patients and assistance with a self-determined end of life. In other words, assisted suicide.

As I browsed the website, everything that is Catholic within me was horrified. I know that over the years there have been countless stories of people choosing to end their life rather than be faced with a debilitating illness, such as Brittany Maynard who ended her life rather than succumb to brain cancer. But this … to make an appointment to die? To travel to Switzerland (where assisted suicide is legal), check in, say goodbye to loved ones, and then … check out of life? It just felt wrong on so many levels.

Dignitas in the movie

Now, I will tell you that the movie glossed over the Dignitas angle; in fact, other than a quick view of the name in a letterhead, it’s not really mentioned and never is it fully explained. Honestly, if I hadn’t read the book I don’t think I would have fully understood what Will was planning to do. Nor does the scene provide any insight as to how Will actually dies. One minute Will is in bed saying goodbye, and in the next scene he isn’t there.

There is no doubt that the movie sugar-coats Will’s decision. Maybe the producers backed off from an emotionally charged subject, or maybe they wanted to concentrate on the romance part of the story. Either way, there is much more depth in the book.

Yes, I know, they’re just characters in a book and actors in a movie …

Oh, the tears I shed (all three times I read the book). But for heaven’s sake! It’s a book. With characters. It’s a movie. With actors. And yet, that is probably one of the things that hit home for me because there I was, getting emotionally entangled in the story, but somewhere out there in this big world this is someone’s life. Somewhere out there someone isn’t reading a story … but living it.  

What would you do …

In high school I had an English teacher who expected us to spend the first ten minutes of class journaling on a topic she had written on the board. One day the topic was this: “Do you think you have the capacity to kill?” I was emphatic with my answer: No. Killing is wrong. We are made in the image of God and to take another life is a sin. Mankind should strive for all that is good, pure, and holy. We are meant to protect our fellow brothers and sisters. I wrote furiously for ten minutes.

But afterwards our teacher offered some what if scenarios: What if you were in a kill or be killed situation? What if you were in a kill or have a loved one be killed situation? She wasn’t being dramatic  (although now that I think about it she had set up a classic Hunger Games scenario); she was teaching us that we live in a world in which the lines between right and wrong are sometimes obscured by more than a little gray; that we can vehemently declare to know what we will do in a certain situation, but do we know? Really? How could we unless we are in the reality? And if we can’t truly know, how can we possible judge?

Why I loved the book (and liked the movie) …

I read the book long before I knew they were making a movie. The book does not glorify in any way the right to die issue, nor does it insinuate in any way that anyone with a physical disability is less of a person; if anything, it shows the incredible pain and devastation left behind with an individual's decision to end his/her own life. I thought the book did an excellent job of giving us a peek (and just a peek because we can never really know) of the incredible physical and emotional pain that some people face, and while I still emphatically disagreed with Will's decision (I was so ANGRY with him), for the first time I could come from a place not of understanding or acceptance, but of empathy and compassion.

Think about this: Will had the money for around-the-clock care. He could travel. He had excellent caretakers. He even got the girl. So why did he still want to die? How could he do that? We don’t know because he was in a place we can never be.

Over the past few weeks I’ve seen countless articles condemning the movie as “dangerous” because of how it ends; that it portrays assisted suicide in such a manner that it might be construed as morally acceptable; that “Louisa et al” should have helped Will sort through and address his problems and the fact they stood by and let it happen makes them murderers (although I honestly don’t know what else “Louisa et al” could have done). That’s why the book was so thought-provoking … there wasn’t a single character who knew what to do. And why should they? How can anyone be prepared for something like that?

In the end, Will's decision to die reverberated through the lives of everyone he knew, and anyone can see how most of it resulted in a lot of pain. So although the book didn't end the way I would've wanted it to end, there is a lesson in Will’s choice.  Not answers, but lessons.