When Your College Student Doesn't Call Home

I’m going to begin with a disclaimer: I have sons – three of them – and so any advice I have is a result of the male mindset. From what I hear, it seems as if daughters are better than sons about emailing, texting, calling, and being more communicative, but I’m aware that this is a huge generalization. There are daughters who don’t call home, just as I know there are sons who faithfully call their moms. In our household, we fall somewhere in-between -- sometimes they call, and sometimes they don't. But now that we have two done finished with college, and one about to start his sophomore year, here is what we've learned along the way.

1. When our sons don’t call home it doesn’t mean they don’t love us. Or need us. Believe me, the second they need their winter jacket or help with a resume, they will call. And they will be so nice about it.
2. We ask for one day a week – we let them choose – in which they are expected to call home. This puts the ball in their court and allows them to take the lead. A friend of mine once told me that she had to train her sons in this area, and I am so glad took her advice. For us, Sunday evening is the time we catch up with our sons. That doesn’t mean we don’t/can’t talk during the week, but at least on Sunday evening our sons take a break from their busy college lives and think of their family back home. Sometimes the call comes in the afternoon, sometimes in the evening, and sometimes late at night – but that’s okay.
3. They are expected to respond to our texts.  We have watched our sons arrive late for dinner, stop in the middle of a conversation, or rush out at the end of church in order to answer a text from a friend. We know they will do anything to answer a text, and as parents we deserve the same courtesy. But there is a caveat . . . and it is IMPORTANT so listen up: We do not text our sons all they time. They need their space, and the last thing we want to do is hover-text (and yes, I just made up that word).
4. When they call, we don’t grill them about everything they’ve been doing. It’s a conversation, which means information flows both ways. They share a little of their life and then we give them some news from home. For them to hear about Dad’s new car, their baby brother’s latest Lego creation, or what we did for Friday Family Night will remind them that we are still family and that they are still an important part of it … even though they are way over there, and we are over here.

Of course, things happen. Sometimes they will “forget” to text back, sometimes Sunday’s call comes Monday morning, and sometimes they call but aren’t talkative, but it’s all good. Besides, I know how to get the communication flowing ...

Two words: Care Package

Taking the inside ... outside

Like many of you, I am already thinking ahead to the holiday season. There is so much to do! Lately I've read countless articles on how to not only celebrate the holidays, but how to deal with the stress. To be sure, we all have ways to deal with holiday stress and busyness -- planning, shopping early, making lists (lots of lists!) -- but over the years I've come to realize that for my family there are two areas which make all the difference in helping us celebrate the holidays with purpose and mindfulness: keeping things simple and dining al fresco.

Simplicity is a topic all on its own, and it's one in which I am most passionate about. I am all about the simple life and striving for simplicity of mind, hearth and home. But in order to do this topic justice I will address in a future post. Stay tuned.

Today, however, I want to share how dining al fresco can offer a respite from the hectic pace set by the holiday season.

Let me set the stage: as I'm typing this, I'm sitting on our back deck under a rain of falling leaves. Colors of red, orange, yellow, and brown spiral downward to land ever so softly on the grass, the brick patio, my head. I hear them land, I hear them crunch as the squirrels scamper about. I have a steaming mug of tea and a yogurt next to me, and every few sentences I pause, take a sip of tea, and look at the raining leaves.

Of course, I could write this post and sip my tea while sitting at my kitchen table, but then I would get up to throw another load in the washing machine, look at my calendar, and put the breakfast dishes away. I wouldn't be as wholly present as I am now, out here on the deck.

I've said it before, and I've even given a talk on this, but there is something magical about taking a meal outside. Whether you're sitting on the back deck, at an outdoor café or under a park gazebo, dining al fresco is a gift of allowing ourselves to be removed from time; it allows us to savor our food instead of gulping it down, it encourages us to converse instead of talk, and most importantly, it reminds us to linger instead of rushing off to the next activity.

And for me, nothing is better for relieving stress during a busy holiday season than dining al fresco where, somehow, you discover time you didn't think you had.

I've seen the magic time and again, how something ordinary like a bowl of chili, a dish of lasagna, or a simple glass of wine is elevated into something extraordinary just by taking it outside. It's magical, this gentle reminder to sit.

To bide a while.

So now, my tea is finished, this post is published, and I will go rake because while falling leaves are pretty in the back yard, they are quite messy in the front. I'll be back tomorrow for tips and tricks on how to take your Thanksgiving table outside. In the meantime, take that cup of coffee and go sit on the front porch. ;-)

Preparing to dine al fresco for our Girls' Trip to Italy one year reunion.

We lingered over the table for more than three hours.

Dining al fresco with the Bunco gals.

Enjoying a glass of wine outside. Breckenridge, Co.

Why eat inside when there is all that magic outside?
Rome, Girls' Trip to Italy, June 2015

Finding Fall

This past weekend the temps went down to a new low -- 92 degrees! -- so I decided to take advantage of the cooler weather and decorate for fall.

(Note: That was sarcasm at its finest.)

Anyway, I was feeling more frost on the pumpkins than pumpkins on the vine, so I mostly ignored anything orange and went with a little yellow, and a lot of brown and white.

Oh, and a floating pumpkin.

one white pumpkin + an old bedspring coil = a floating pumpkin

Fall leaves fall

~Emily Bronte

Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;

Lengthen night and shorten day;

Every leaf speaks bliss to me

Fluttering from the autumn tree.

I shall smile when wreaths of snow

Blossom where the rose should grow;

I shall sing when night's decay

Ushers in a drearier day.

Summer Faves

~1~ You had me at cappuccino swirl

I don't have a dairy allergy, but I do have somewhat of a dairy intolerance. What does this mean? Only that I have to be careful with dairy products ... too much just doesn't do my body good. BUT, allow me to introduce this Almond Dream Cappuccino Swirl non-dairy frozen dessert. It's only 140 calories for a half cup serving ... which is the perfect amount to satisfy a craving without over-indulging.


You're welcome.

~2~ Supergoop! me

I've finally, FINALLY found a facial sunscreen that is light, hydrating, and really seems to improve my skin: Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum. I am currently packing for back-to-back trips to Washington DC and New York City, and because summertime in the city is HOT, HOT, HOT, here is a photo of my minimalist, summer makeup. As you can see, Supergoop! is going with me.

Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum, Mineral Veil primer,

No. 7 foundation (use only in spots to even skin tone)

Bobbi Brown Mascara, Sexy Kitten eyeliner, Elf eyebrow pencil,

Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer, Cover Girl concealer

~3~ Packing

People sometimes ask me how I pack. It's simple, for about a week leading up to my trip I start setting aside items of clothing I know I want to bring with me. At some point (usually several days before our trip) I will coordinate outfits and fold them into piles on the bed. Then, the day before our departure I pack my suitcase using eBags to keep like items together (shirts, bottoms, intimates).


As you can see from the photo, I'm at the several-days-before-our-trip phase when everything is displayed on the bed.

~4~ Jiminy Cricket, personal trainer

Do you know why I like love my Fitbit Blaze? It's like having Jiminy Cricket sitting on my shoulder whispering words of encouragement (Only 250 steps to go this hour!) or sweet words of praise (You've just hit a 7-day streak of completing your daily goals!). The other day he whispered, You're an overachiever! and I couldn't have been more proud.

~5~ Funny texts ... that really aren't, but kind of are

Me, in a text to Jonathan this past Monday: Instructions for the day: no fender benders, no broken air conditioners, no flat tires, no broken glasses, no lost wallets.


All of which has happened. But it's all good -- there was no damage in the fender bender, his air conditioner is now fixed, there are four brand new tires on his car, he has a new pair of glasses, and the lost wallet was found in the parking garage! It got to the point that when we saw Jonathan's name on our phone screen, Joe and I were afraid to answer. Then we remember the summer internship, the four leadership conferences he's attending, AND the job offer he has for NEXT summer ... so all is forgiven.

~6~ Photo texts from far away places

Nicholas sent me this photo from Maastricht (a city in the Netherlands) and my heart was full, not because of the beauty of the photo, but because he gets to be there and experience it. He worked and studied hard in college and I'm glad he now has these opportunities to explore the world.

Brown paper packages tied up with strings (and gift tags, of course!)

Here's to re-purposing old Christmas cards
into beautiful gift tags.

Getting Ready: How to Furnish Your Apartment

Tomorrow Joe, Nicholas and I are flying to Little Rock, Arkansas to help Nicholas find and sign a lease for an apartment. Then, in one week he leaves for training in Denver, after which the moving van will be here to pack up all his stuff for his new life (and career!) in Little Rock.


You should see our rec room.


But we won't go there; instead, let me share with you how we've helped Nicholas stock his future apartment.

1. We started with what he had.

Which, truthfully, wasn't much. As far as furniture goes, he basically he had a television and a bed (top mattress and box spring, but no headboard). The mattress was brand new, but the box spring wasn't. So we decided to keep the mattress and then purchase a platform bed (with a headboard!) so we didn't have to deal with storing and/or transporting a bulky box spring.

2. We shopped yard sales, estate sales, and consignment stores.

(with the exception of the desk, nothing was over $100)

3. We re-purposed.

Up in our attic was a white bookcase that used to be in Timothy's nursery. We brought it down, painted it black, and re-purposed it into an entertainment center. Nicholas' flat screen television will sit on top, and the canvas storage bins (not shown) will be used for storage.

4. We re-upholstered.

Also stored in our attic was a kitchen table and four chairs that Joe and I had when we first married. It's quality furniture, but the chair cushions needed to be replaced.


It's amazing what a bolt of Waverly upholstery fabric, a staple gun, and a rainy afternoon can do.

And there you have it. All this preparation has been exciting, but also bittersweet. Keep us in your prayers this weekend as Nicholas makes some big decisions!

La Dolce Vita Goes to Target (a capsule wardrobe post)

For those of you who traveled with me to Italy, or who followed our adventures either here or on Facebook, then you know that I'm a big believer of the capsule wardrobe when packing for a trip. I stand by the mantra that less is more -- simply by choosing a color palette wisely a few key wardrobe selections can then be mixed and matched to form endless outfit combinations.


Here are some posts I wrote on the subject:


La Dolce Vita Travels: The Art of Packing


La Dolce Vita Travels: What to Pack (a Capsule Jewelry Wardrobe)


The concept of a capsule wardrobe has gone a long way in simplifying my life, not only when traveling but also in what I keep in my closet. Again, less is more; I'd rather have a few, quality pieces than a stuffed closet with things I don't wear.


Now that spring is just around the corner (I realize it's still February, but here in Augusta the daffodils are blooming) I have decided, for the first time, to put together an official minimalist spring capsule wardrobe. The key word being minimalist. So I purged my closet, decided on a few key colors (blush, blue) and neutrals (black, tan), and identified key clothing items (tops, bottoms, layering pieces) that I can mix and match. Did you know that with just 26 pieces you can come up with 100 outfit ideas? It's true.


It's important to note that planning a capsule wardrobe is not an excuse to shop; instead, the idea is to first shop your closet and only then make a list of any items that you need. The best thing is that once I have everything at hand, I won't need to go shopping for clothes again. My wardrobe is set.


If you are feeling overwhelmed, there are a few web sites that have capsule wardrobe plans that you can purchase. Alison Lumbatis at Get Your Pretty On has a SAHM capsule wardrobe builder that you can order and download (it comes with shopping list and outfit ideas). My personal favorite is Leanne Blackmon at Classy, Yet Trendy. I especially like her French Minimalist Capsule Wardrobes.


I am almost finished planning and I have to say it's not only been fun, but I feel on top of things. I like being organized and I like keeping it simple. This morning I went to Target for a couple of items and came home with the following: blush espadrilles (they go with my color scheme AND are designed by Dolce Vita), a bandana scarf (popular spring trend), and the book 25 Ways to Style Your Scarf which I found in the Bargain Bin.


And you should see my closet. Neat, organized, and simple.




How could I not get shoes designed by Dolce Vita?

What's Your Word?

Whittling down my New Year's Resolutions to one word has been something I've been doing for several years. My very first word (in 2009) was embrace and I selected it as a way to remind me to be fully present in the moment. To this day, that word is not only one of my all-time favorites, but it's become a personal, daily goal.


This year, while pondering my choices, I came across the MyIntent Project in which you can order a simple bracelet or necklace with your intention word engraved on a gold or silver token. The concept is very du jour, and after browsing their web site I decided to order one for myself.


It was very easy: I selected my style (bracelet), cord color (black), and token color (brass). When I typed in my word choice I was also asked to share my story about the word. And so I did ...


"I choose PRONTO because this year it's all about now. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month. it's about doing today everything I've put off for tomorrow; it's about living with intention now. Pronto ... without delay, I am ready."


The whole thing cost $20.60 (including shipping) and arrived in a linen drawstring bag with the bracelet and a card with my story. The bracelet is simple, but it's perfect for layering with other pieces of jewelry and it's nice to have a visual reminder to stay the course.


So, what's your word?

Pretty Papers

2017 Erin Condren Planner

green recipe binder for menu planning

gratitude journal (leather notebook)

One Good Deed a Day

pretty pencil case

pretty green paper clips

This is what I know: I am a happier, calmer, and much more peaceful person when I am not running around in a frenzy.

Organization is key in helping me hold it all together (planning meals, listing house projects, establishing a workout schedule).

Keeping things simple helps me be more purposeful (making conscious decisions to be present, finding time for quiet things, knowing when to say no).

Getting rid of clutter in closets, drawers and cabinets, accessorizing mindfully, and even keeping kitchen countertops clear gives me sense of order.


I do all this not to strive for perfection, but to create pockets of peace in the busyness of life.

 And so I start with some pretty papers.

The Homework Basket

We've had this basket for 17 years, and at the start of every school year it is restocked.

Having homework supplies at our fingertips means no time is wasted looking for pencil sharpener, ruler, or index cards.


#noexcuses

 

Welcome Home

This time of year, perhaps more than any other, I strive to create a home that reflects peace, well-being, and comfort. After the bounty of Thanksgiving and with the arrival of Advent – both of which herald shorter days and longer nights – I just want to hole up, batten down the hatches, and retreat into a space that is warm, cozy, loving, and yes, spiritual. I want our home to offer a respite from the hectic pace that the world tries to set during this time of year.

When my boys come home from college or when my husband comes home from work at the end of the day, I want them to walk in the door and experience that sense of "coming home".  So, I fluff pillows and turn on lamps. I pick up clutter, put away the laundry basket, and turn on some music. I set the table and have dinner ready. I don’t do any of these things because they are expected; rather, I do them because it’s something I can give.


In the grand scheme of things it may seem insignificant – a flickering candle, a fuzzy blanket, a basket of books – but sometimes little things have the greatest impact when it comes to nourishing us physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Of course, I realize that I am able to do all this because, as a writer, I work from home. But I used to work outside the home, and even now there are times when I am gone all day, but since this is something I really, really want to be able to do, I find a way despite the fact that it's not always easy.

One of the nicest compliments I ever received was when someone told me that coming into our home was like getting a giant hug. And that’s all I want. To lovingly welcome my husband, my sons, friends and family; to give them what I can to help make this brief stop in their otherwise hectic day be a moment of peace.  

To be able to say, “Welcome home.”

 

Sharing Ideas: How to Create a Welcoming Home during Advent and Christmas

Physically: things that appeal to the senses

Smell:  There is nothing like walking into a home with the aroma of cookies baking in the oven, bread rising on the counter, or soup bubbling on the stove. Burn an apple/cinnamon candle in the family room, place sweet smelling soaps in the bathrooms, light a fire in the fireplace.
Taste:  Nourishment for the body means a home-cooked meal after a long commute, muffins on a rainy afternoon, or hot chocolate by a roaring fire; it means eating out less, and eating in more; it means having those Christmas cookies, but also serving a hearty stew.
Touch: Bring out the pillows, throws, and afghans … nothing fancy, because you want them to be used; make the beds with freshly laundered sheets for the college student (after sleeping in sheets that haven't been changed since forever, they REALLY appreciate this) and hang fluffy towels in the bathroom.
sight: As soon as the sun goes down, be the lamplighter. But don’t turn on overhead lights; rather, turn on a corner lamp in every room. Have dinner by candlelight (this time of year candlelight isn’t an occasion in our home, but a nightly event); make sure the porch light is on and the porch/walkway is swept and welcoming.
sound: Replace the background noise of the television with soothing music (hymns, classical music, spiritual Christmas carols).

Mentally: things that quiet us

-Encourage those pockets of quiet time to read, play a board game, or watch a movie together.
-Be organized in an effort to counterbalance life's hectic pace.
-Regularly pick up clutter (a restful environment goes a long way in resting the mind).

-Take it outside. Set up the telescope in the back yard and look at the moon. Sit around the fire pit and tell ghost stories. Go for a midnight walk.

-Keep things simple. Host one party instead of two; bake two batches of cookies instead of three; serve soup and sandwiches instead of ordering takeout.

Spiritually: things that give meaning

-Extend grace with additional prayers.

-Practice faith traditions with the Advent wreath, the Joshua Tree, or a Christmas Nativity.
-Each night, pass around any Christmas card that arrived that day and pray for that person.
-Pray the rosary by the light of the Christmas tree.

-Attend an Advent penance service. Go out for ice-cream afterwards.

Tuesday's Tip of the Week: Now You See It, Now You Don't

Laundry ... sorting, pre-treating, washing, ironing, folding, putting away. It never ends (N.E.V.E.R.) but it's either laundry today or naked tomorrow, so the laundry we must do.


Over the years the laundry room has become the place where I sort out life one load at a time, including how to handle this never-ending chore. Here's what works for us ...


Everyone in the family has a laundry hamper in their room into which they place their dirty clothes. When a hamper is full, it is carried downstairs and, once the clothes are sorted, they are loaded in the washing machine and the empty hamper goes immediately back upstairs.


But what about the clean, folded clothes? How do they get back upstairs?


Allow me to present Tuesday's Tip of the Week: The Collapsible Laundry Basket.


After the clothes have been removed from the dryer and (hopefully) folded, I place them into one of these baskets. One collapsible basket goes a long way because TWO full loads of folded, clean clothes can fit inside, and because it is collapsible and has handles, the basket is very light and easy to carry upstairs. Then, once the clothes have (hopefully) been put away, the basket is collapsed and stored in the laundry room. No bulky laundry basket taking up space, getting knocked over, or used as a depository for all things not even remotely related to laundry.


Of course, with laundry anything can happen, but the clutter associated with laundry and the more traditional laundry basket is manageable with the collapsible laundry basket. And honestly, anything that helps reduce clutter works for me.


What about you? Do you have a laundry tip to share?

The Collapsible laundry basket.
Now you see it ...

now you don't.

In His Own Words

Many of you know about our family vacation tradition in which the boys send postcards to themselves as a way of keeping a travel journal. A postcard is perfect because it's a picture of what they've visited, and the limited amount of space on the back keeps the torture journaling to a minimum. The older boys have outgrown this tradition, but Timothy is the perfect age.


Today, his postcards started arriving from last week's adventures ...

Traveling with Kids: Two Ways to Keep them Engaged

Are you taking your family on a road trip? Traipsing through Europe? Exploring the Grand Canyon? Walking the streets of Manhattan? Here are two ways ours family makes those trips fun, educational, and memorable.

The Scavenger Hunt

When my husband and I took our boys on their first trip to Italy, I prepared a scavenger hunt highlighting some of the things I knew we would be seeing. The night before we left I gave them each a disposable camera and a list of 25 items to look for during our trip. Some of the items on the list were obvious: someone eating a gelato; a tower that leans; a sign written in Italian; a Vespa. Some weren't so obvious: a lion carved in stone (the lion is the symbol of Venice and is found everywhere in that city); a love letter to Juliet (the wall near Juliet's balcony is plastered with love letters asking for advice). Each time they found an item on their list, they took a picture of it.

They loved the scavenger hunt and took it very seriously. Once we returned home they put the list and their photos in a small album thereby creating a wonderful keepsake of their travels.

Postcard Journals

For that same trip I also wanted to find a way for the boys to record what they were seeing and learning. I knew, however, that a traditional travel journal was not going to work; instead, every day the boys would send postcards to themselves!


Here's how it worked: After a day spent sightseeing, the boys would select a postcard and write some highlights of the day. A postcard was perfect because they had a picture of what they saw, and the limited space on the back kept their journaling down to a few sentences. I kept stamps in my wallet, and whenever there was an opportunity we would drop them in the mail.

The best part was that a few days after returning home the postcards started arriving -- postcards from Rome, Naples, Capri, Sorrento and Verona. Getting the mail every afternoon was never so fun. These postcards, addressed to themselves, contain some of the best (and funniest) memories from our family vacation.

Once we returned home from our travels, the postcards kept
coming and coming!

In almost every postcard Timothy mentions how much he loves gelato.

Dear Me,

I went to Cortona today. It was so high on the mountain my ears had trouble getting used to the altitude. We sat on the steps pictured on the postcard and ate a panino. The pigeons practically attacked us when I threw a chip on the step. ~Jonathan

Dear Me,

Today we went to La Verna, a Franciscan monastery. We saw the real cloak that St. Francis wore. My favorite was, of course, the gift shop!! ~Jonathan

Dear Me,
I love Verona. I went frog hunting with Martha and we made a cake. ~Timothy

Dear Me,
Today we visited the Royal Palace in Caserta. It was beautiful, and it was where they filmed Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Walking the halls, I get shivers every time I think that Jar-Jar Binks was there. ~Nicholas


Dear Cool Kid (aka me): In Verona I saw a Colosseum and the Piazza Bra - a bra that looks like a pizza. Not really. Anyway I saw Juliet's balcony with all the love letters attached to the wall. By the way, the Piazza Bra is a square named Bra. ~Nicholas


Dear Me,
St. Peter's is a beautiful church. There is a spot outside that if you stand on it, all the columns behind the front one disappear so you only see the front one. We saw where most of the popes were buried. ~Jonathan

Seven Books

My go-to Confirmation gift idea is this: seven books which represent the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, right judgment, courage, knowledge, reverence, awe of God).


The list changes depending on the recipient and his/her interests (with our middle son, for example, I included several sports books). Sometimes the list includes the Bible (if they don't already have one with their name engraved on the cover), sometimes I explain which book represents which gift of the Holy Spirit and sometimes I let them figure it out, but mostly I try to find books that are appealing, interesting, thought-provoking, and stand the test of time.


Yesterday we attended our nephew's Confirmation, and these were Christopher's seven books:


1- In His Own Words, Pope Francis
2- To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
3- The Book Thief, Markus Zusak
4- The First Phone Call from Heaven, Mitch Albom
5- Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck
6- Unbroken, Laura Hillenbrand
7- The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, Leo Buscaglia




As his sponsors, Joe and I kept trying to get a photo with Christopher (and just Christopher!) ...
but we kept getting photo bombed.
And the cute little guy in the bottom left corner? That's chocolate cake all over his mouth.

A Senior in High School? What we learned in 7 quick takes ...

A friend of mine, Lisa, sent me a message on Facebook asking for advice/insights on navigating (and surviving) her daughter’s senior year in high school (she has five daughters, and this will be her first one to graduate).  Where to even begin? My husband and I have learned so much these past few months while navigating (and surviving) our son’s senior year, but we also acknowledge that many times (most of the time) we didn’t know what we were doing; in other words, it was uncharted territory for us and, as a result, there were plenty of tears and moments of self-doubt. But with patience, faith and perseverance we made it. Amazingly. Miraculously. And if we can help the next family going through this, then we are more than happy to share a little of what worked for us …

~1~ The Black Box

Know that you will be inundated with information, so have an organizational system in place. Now. Get it ready. What worked for us was a black file box that we kept in the study by the family computer. We used a labeled folder for each college Nicholas was considering; additionally, we had files for test scores (SAT and ACT), transcripts, letters of recommendation, financial aid forms, student i.d. numbers, and scholarship applications. Also, in the front of the box we kept a list of every single deadline on one easy-to-reference sheet. Everything was in that box.

~2~ The Running Resume

At some point (and this can be done right now) sit down and brainstorm everything your son/daughter has participated in during high school: clubs, organizations, mission trips, community service projects, summer jobs, and volunteer opportunities. Keep a running list of awards, honors, and recognitions. With everything, include dates. Every application will ask for these things, and you will save so much time if you already have everything listed.

~3~ College Visitations

We found that college visitations helped ease us into the application process. Go. See. Explore. Ask questions. With each college visitation you become more and more familiar (even comfortable) with the ins and outs of applying. But don’t waste your time visiting colleges you are not interested in. Keep it real, including whether or not a certain college is financially feasible. Finally, if you plan the visitations the summer before senior year, by the fall you will have narrowed the list of colleges to the few that you are truly interested in.

 

~4~ The Nitty Gritty of Finances

Our son has a good life. He lives in a nice house, he goes to a private school, he has traveled to Europe, and he has a loving, supportive family. But part of being a good steward of God’s gifts is not taking anything for granted, and my husband and I are not going to just hand him four years wrapped up with a nice, neat bow; rather, he is very involved in the financial aspects of his college education. He knows we will help (a lot), but he also knows that there is the entire family to consider and that he has another brother who is just two years behind. So, he knows he needs to contribute however he can (with a summer job, by being frugal, doing a co-op/work study etc.) and, hopefully, learns how to be a good steward in life.  

~5~ Resist Temptation

Many colleges are very, very good at making your son/daughter feel wanted and appreciated. Let’s face it, applying for colleges is a scary process, and when a college calls your son/daughter and makes them feel special they start thinking: They know me! They like me! They want me! But is that really the case, or does that college simply have an excellent recruiting department?

For example, one college bombarded our son with information on a daily basis. They called him. They emailed him. They wooed him. They awarded him a great scholarship before he had even officially filled out an application or visited their campus. Despite the fact that the college didn’t have the program of study my son wanted to pursue, he was very, very tempted to take their offer and adjust his choice of major. But he didn’t. In the end we never even visited the campus; we closed the door on that avenue without any second thoughts or regrets.

~6~ Senior Year = Stress

This falls into the category of something we wish we had known ahead of time. Senior year is an exciting time, but it is like a runaway freight train. This is what our son went through his senior year: college applications almost every weekend, senior photo session, ongoing senior project, SAT, ACT, scholarship applications, 18^th birthday celebration, senior trip to Orlando, prom, a new girlfriend, honor’s day, senior prank day, graduation practice, senior breakfast, baccalaureate Mass and graduation, family graduation party.

On top of all that were the endless discussions on everything from test scores to engineering programs to summer employment.

There was never a break, ever.

In looking back, it was a ridiculously busy time. Today, a month after graduation, our son is happier and more relaxed; Joe and I now realize how stressed (and sleep deprived!) he had been, and we wish we had been more understanding during those times when he was irritable or moody and didn’t seem himself. 

~7~ The Decision

Hold on to the fact that not every decision needs to be made at once. Know what, then see where. Decide where, then work on the how. Embrace the process, and you'll discover that after months of planning, researching, visiting, discussing and praying, the information filters down until one miraculous day you realize that a decision has been made. Just like that. For us it came on a family vacation during spring break, and it was if a burden had been lifted.

The peace we experienced told us we were doing the right thing, and here’s what you should know: when you experience that peace ... go with it.

 

*Now, go visit Jen at Conversion Diary.
This fall she will be rubbing shoulders with Cardinal Dolan and Scott Hahn.

Who says you need to use ALL your Christmas decorations?

No one, that's who. Just because you have a gazillion boxes in the attic filled with Christmas decorations doesn't mean you need to use everything in those gazillion boxes. Be selective. Rotate decorations. Don't overdo it.

This year, keeping it simple meant using what's already there.

Case in point, our kitchen credenza.  In the past I have decorated it with lights, a nativity, international Santas and, once, even a Christmas clock. This year, however, I didn't pull out any of those items and left the credenza as is and simply added some Christmas flowers and greenery.

That's it. Nothing to unpack or put away.

But festive, nonetheless.

Advent Idea

Old Christmas cards? Cut out vignettes and frame them. These framed Advent scenes are leftover from last year's Advent wreath, and this year they adorn a shelf in my kitchen.

 

First Sunday of Advent (and introducing our Advent wreath 2012)

The Advent wreath is an important part of our family's celebration of Advent, and every Sunday we gather for prayers and the lighting of a candle.

It's a beautiful tradition which brings together the family in an act of faith, and for me it's also a chance to create a new wreath every year. In the past I have used bedspring coils, a section of a corncrib, a piece of driftwood, baskets, platters, and framed art to create Advent wreaths which are unique in appearance, but true to the meaning behind the tradition.

This year my inspiration was a vintage tray, so I started with that. While I usually incoporate the pink and purple colors with ribbons instead of candles, this year I decided not to include those colors at all. Instead, I focused on some of the other symbolic elements of the Advent wreath, which I underlined in the list below:

THE SYMBOLISM BEHIND THE ADVENT WREATH:

evergreens = everlasting life
holly = crown of thorns
pine cones/nuts/pods = life and resurrection
four candles = four weeks of Advent
color purple = prayer, penance, preparatory sacrifices, royalty
color pink = rejoicing
circle = eternity of God; God's never ending love
wood = the manger; the cross
Progressive lighting of candles = expection and hope surrounding Christ's birth

 

Advent Wreath 2012 (w/ vintage tray)

 

 

 

Some past Advent wreaths ...

 

Advent Wreath 2011 (beach driftwood and framed scenes of Advent)

 

 



Advent wreath 2010 (w/ wooden candlebra found in an antique store)

Advent wreath 2007 (corncrib and bedspring coils)

 

One of the wreaths I made for a talk I gave on Advent and the tradition of the Advent wreath 

(Part of the talk included how to make an Advent wreath from things around the house. For a demonstration, I constructed five different wreaths during my talk.)

 

 

So, tonight we'll light our first candle and begin the Advent season with this blessing.

There is beauty and solemnity in the lighting of a candle, and when we gather as a family around our Advent wreath to pray, we become part of a ritual as old as time itself.