Recognizing the Freedom of Lent

We all know the story of the Prodigal Son. Traditionally, the father in the parable represents our heavenly father, the older son represents the Pharisees who live the letter of the law but not the love of the law, the wayward son represents all sinners.

However, the beauty of a parable is that it can have many layers -layers that speak to us at different times in our lives and even during different liturgical seasons of the Church.

Which is why I think this parable is also a story about Lent and what happens when we misuse one of God’s most beautiful gifts . . . the gift of free will.

You’re probably wondering, “What does free will have to do with Lent?” I know that many times Lent seems as if we are in chains . . . that Lent is all about what not to eat, or what not to watch, or when to go to church. There seems to be nothing free about it at all.

But the wonderful thing about these next 40 days is that each and every day serves to remind us to appreciate the free will that is God’s gift to us; that we have the power and self-discipline to live as free people.

The key is to devote that freedom to God.

And in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, both sons show what happens when we misuse our God-given free will.

In the case of the younger son, he desired independence from his father - both his earthly and his heavenly father – and wanted to be in charge of his own life. He mistakenly thought that freedom could be found in the opportunity to do what he wanted; he didn't realize that freedom comes not from the opportunity to choose, but from choosing the right thing. Instead of finding freedom, he became enslaved to his own selfish desires.

On the other hand, the older son shows us a different kind of misuse of free will.

Lent isn’t meant to be oppressive, or weigh us down, or enslave us; if we let it do that, then we are like the older son who merely goes through the motions of doing the right thing. His misuse of free will is that he does it out of obligation ... it wears him down ... and there is no freedom in that. He doesn’t freely choose to do the right thing, he does it because he has to.

God created us in His image, and He loved us so much that he let us go. And just like the father in the parable who lets his youngest son go only to eventually have him return home, God releases us because he wants us to freely choose him instead of being forced to choose him.

Wisdom teaches us that unless we are free to say no to something, we are not free to say yes to it. During Lent we are reminded that our free will of saying “yes” and “no” is a gift from a loving parent.

And that is what Lent is: a time to say “no” for a while so that we can fully appreciate it when we say “yes”.

John Paul II said, “Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right (or the free will) to do what we ought.”

And that’s what I want my Lenten journey to be about . . . to choose God in everything and experience that freedom he so desires us to have.

(originally posted 3-8-11)

Stations of the Cross ... Bringing them Home during the Coronavirus Pandemic

Lenten Friday during a Pandemic. Sharing a few ideas on how to pray the Stations of the Cross from home ...

Our favorite way to pray the Stations involves placing fourteen votive candles across our mantle, with a black and white etching of each station taped below. Then, as we read a station we blow out the corresponding candle until, when the last one is blown out, we sit in the darkness in silent contemplation. On Easter morning we gather to read the 15th station, and instead of blowing out a candle, we light an Easter candle in celebration.

As a family, we love praying the Stations of the Cross using candles; it encourages active participation, and by reading aloud, lighting candles and then blowing them out, we become part of a ritual as old as time itself.

Here is a link for the etchings.

This year I decided to try something different. Rather than using our mantel, I placed fourteen tea lights in a French bread serving board and, as we sat around the kitchen table, we took turns reading a Station and then ceremoniously used a candle snuffer to put out the candle.

Another idea is to pray the Stations of the Cross virtually via Skype or FaceTime. I plan to do that with my parents. We will also have our traditional Sunday dinner together via Skype.

There are many versions of the Stations of the Cross. Sometimes we like to keep things traditional, sometimes informal, sometimes short and sweet. Here are some ideas:

St. Alphonsus Liguori
Scriptural Stations of the Cross
Stations of the Cross for Children

The Stations below are from my childhood. They are perfect for fidgety toddlers or antsy teens and are often a springboard for discussion.

Finally, Pope Francis gives us 8 reasons why we should pray the Stations of the Cross, and no matter if we meditate upon them in church or around the kitchen table, the important thing is to enter into the story, follow in Christ's footsteps as he heads to that cross on Calvary, and then be guided from that cross to resurrection. 

FIRST STATION: JESUS IS CONDEMNED TO DEATH
Jesus, we stand in silence as you are condemned
by Pilate. Standing in silence is not new to us; we have stood in
silence as you went hungry by our tables, as you were orphaned
in our wars, as you walked powerless in our world. We stand in
silence because, like Pilate, we are bowed, broken, and afraid.
Give us the courage to speak in your behalf. Amen.

SECOND STATION: JESUS ACCEPTS HIS CROSS
Jesus, we watch you bear you cross and do not
understand. We are afraid of suffering. We flee sickness,
sorrow, and pain. But you carrying your cross says something
different about suffering. Help us to follow you even when we
do not understand. Amen.

THIRD STATION: JESUS FALLS THE FIRST TIME
Jesus, you have fallen with your cross. Everywhere
we see signs of weakness: in our Church, our nation, our world.
We see dissension, controversy, turmoil. We do not understand.
Our faith falters. Help us know and understand your strength
beneath the cross. Amen.

FOURTH STATION: JESUS MEETS HIS MOTHER
Jesus, we are moved by Mary’s love for you. She
saw beneath your grime and agony. She saw your hidden beauty.
We know she does the same for us. We need to be understood
these days, and with Mary we are not alone. Amen.

FIFTH STATION: SIMON HELPS JESUS
Jesus, we have to admire Simon. He took up
your cross and followed you. He had so little doubt, so
little hesitation. We see you suffering all around us: in
the poor, the powerless, the misunderstood. We are often
hesitant to come to your aid. We find so many excuses.
Grant us the wisdom and the courage to help the least of
our brothers, and in doing so we help you. Amen.

SIXTH STATION: VERONICA WIPES THE FACE OF JESUS
Jesus, you rewarded Veronica for her courage.
You left your face upon her veil. Help us forget our fears
and reach out to serve others so you will leave the imprint
of your face upon our lives. Amen.

SEVENTH STATION: JESUS FALLS THE SECOND TIME
Jesus, you must have been discouraged by your
second fall. We, too, know discouragement. Our best efforts
sometimes end in failure, and life does not bring us peace. What
shall we do? We will imitate your example and try again …
even in the face of futility. Amen.

EIGHTH STATION: JESUS SPEAKS TO THE WOMEN
Jesus, in the midst of your sufferings you had
compassion for others and their pain. Too often we are so
self-centered. We want pity, kindness and understanding,
and yet, we are unwilling to do the same for others. Help us
forget ourselves. Awaken us to the pain of others. Amen.

NINTH STATION: JESUS FALL THE THIRD TIME
Jesus, your third fall is the beginning of your
death agony. Our world I filled with dying people: in war,
in famine, in hospitals, on highways. Many this day will die
alone. May our prayers be some comfort to the dying. Amen.

TENTH STATION: JESUS IS STRIPPED
Jesus, there is something fearful in thinking of
you stripped before the crowd. Even the privacy of clothing
is taken. You have given up everything for us. May we have
the grace to give of what we have to help our brothers and
sisters around us. Amen.

ELEVENTH STATION: JESUS IS NAILED TO THE CROSS
Jesus, the pain of those nails was unjust. Your hands
which did such good and your feet which walked on errands of
mercy are now punished. You received little gratitude for the good
you did. Help us to be like you: to give, and ask nothing in return.
Amen.

TWELFTH STATION: JESUS DIES ON THE CROSS
Jesus, you have the greatest love for us. What
can we say in the face of it? We can only try to imitate
you by responding to the brothers and sisters you have
given to us to love. Amen.

THIRTEENTH STATION: JESUS IS TAKEN DOWN
FROM THE CROSS
Jesus, you are laid in the arms of your mother.
The agony is over, but resurrection is not yet. Your Father’s
plan requires patience. So it is with us. We reach moments
when only patience can carry us on. We know that something
better will come … but when? Help us find some of your patience
in our lives. Amen.

FOURTEENTH STATION: JESUS IS LAID IN THE TOMB
Jesus, the end of life is so definite. We fear it
deep within. We do not want to die, but help us understand
that our lives are but a prelude to a new life … a life with
you and your father. Amen.

O, Our Jesus, guide us from the Cross to the resurrection and teach us that evil shall not have the last word, but love, mercy and forgiveness. O Christ, help us to exclaim again: "Yesterday I was crucified with Christ; today I am glorified with Him. Yesterday I died with Him, today I live with Him. Yesterday I was buried with Him, today I am raised with Him." 

– Pope Francis, Good Friday, April 18, 2014

Lenten Friday: Oreos and Fortnite

Things haven't changed much around here. One year our little guy gave up all cookies for Lent EXCEPT Oreos ... when all he ate was Oreos. This year our not-so-little guy gave up computer games EXCEPT Fortnite ... when all he plays is Fortnite.


"Mom," says our little guy yesterday. "Don't put cookies in my lunch. You keep forgetting that I gave up cookies for Lent."

Now, as we are having this conversation he is sitting at the kitchen counter with a tall glass of milk and a stack of 6-8 oreos. Dunk - munch, munch. Dunk- munch, munch.

"What do you mean?" I ask. "You're eating cookies right now. You've been eating cookies ever since Lent started!"

Dunk - munch, munch.

"No one gives up Oreos for Lent," he explains matter of factly. "I gave up all the other kinds, like chocolate chip."

Huh. I'm thinking that's like someone giving up all sodas for Lent except Diet Coke ... when all they drink is Diet Coke.

He smiles, a very oreo encrusted kind of smile.

Okay, then.

I reach for an Oreo and ... dunk - munch, munch. After all, I did NOT give up cookies (of any kind).



Fat Tuesday on a Monday

So. My mom made her famous homemade cannoli for the Italian Pasta Festival this weekend, and today she comes by and brings me four.


And right away I ate two, and saved two for tomorrow.


Except ... I kept thinking about them.


I mean, I was going to eat them anyway, so would it make a difference if it's today or tomorrow? Isn't it kind of a good idea to just eat them ... get it over it ... and be done with it?


Decisions, decisions.


And I'll leave it at that.


A cliffhanger ...


what


did


Bia


do?

A Stillness of Soul

Just taking a little break during Holy Week.

Prayer of St. John of the Cross

O blessed Jesus, give me stillness of soul in You.

Let Your mighty calmness reign in me.

Rule me, O King of Gentleness, King of Peace.

Photo taken in the heart of Tiuscany at the mountaintop Monastery of La Verna
where St. Francis received the stigmata.

All is Good

A few years ago I did not make a conscious decision to give up the computer for Lent, but that's exactly what ended up happening. A wonderful combination of events (no pressing article deadlines, no crazy spring schedule with the boys' school/sports activities) meant that I had some pockets of time which (without even realizing it) didn't involve my computer keyboard.

That is not to say I wasn't busy, because I was. But I was busy doing different things: I made some changes, set some goals, tried a lot of new recipes, organized my writing, and did some research. I also found time to pray and reflect.

Then, on the Wednesday of Holy Week my husband had to undergo surgery. While it was not a serious health issue, it certainly reminded me how life is all about a progression of changes. It's easy to become complacent in our day-to-day life, but each day, each hour and, yes, each minute brings about change. In big ways and in little, changes are inevitable, but between the bookends of birth and death is a fantastic journey in which change is all part of it. It's not always easy (and it's not supposed to be) but with grace we can appreciate the entire journey and recognize it for the gift that it is.

Amazingly just a few days later, on Easter Sunday, we stepped outside and realized that the cicadas had arrived. After an absence of 13 years they were back, and in their loud, distant droning in the woods behind our house I heard nature's music of changes and seasons ... the Song of Life affirming that all is as it should be, and it is all good.

How to Fast and Feast during Lent

~1~
FAST from doing it my way; FEAST on obedience to God.

~2~
FAST from mindlessness; FEAST on mindfulness of God's presence.

~3~
FAST from judging others; FAST on seeing Christ in them.

~4~
FAST from being in control; FEAST on obeying those who are.

~5~
FAST from busyness; FEAST on stillness by turning to God throughout the day.

~6~
FAST from running away; FEAST on stability

~7~
FAST from monotony of the everyday; FEAST on the sacredness of the ordinary

Entering the Desert

Lent. Forty days now of awareness, of turning inward and taking stock. Forty days of asking hard questions, and then searching for answers.

This year, these forty days will be about climbing a mountain as I tackle an ongoing project which has been in the works for two years. I have been hesitant to put the word "book" in front of the word "project" because I am all too aware of my shortcomings as a writer; I have also been afraid of venturing into the unknown and, if I am being honest, of failing.

But it's time I face my demons.

It's time I enter that desert so I can strive for the mountaintop.