Men Behaving Badly: The Debate Debacle

After staying up to watch the stupid debate, after staying up to watch the commentary, after tossing and turning all night … this morning all I could think of was give. me. coffee.

Two cups later I still think, “What a monumental mess.”

Coincidentally, Facebook Memories reminded me that one year ago I posted a photo of our fireplace mantel and asked readers to vote orange or brown. I was decorating for fall and could not decided if I should go with the brown or the orange candle. 

Huh. Life was easy then.

But really, what a monumental mess.

Both candidates—BOTH OF THEM—did a huge disservice; instead of giving America an intelligent, forceful, coherent, respectful delivery of their agenda, we had front row seats to insults, rude behavior, vitriol, accusations, and personal attacks, all of which fueled an atmosphere that only served to further divide our country.

Does anyone know how to rise above? To be the better person? And it is frustrating how both parties are claiming “victory” when they both behaved badly. There is no winner when two people wallow in the mud because both come out muddy. 

So don't try to put a spin on the whole lamentable mess; I had a front row seat and witnessed the entire thing. 

At the end of the night I opened Facebook and someone asked if we could bring Kanye back. I could not stop laughing. And I needed that laugh.

Anyway, this morning I am going to decorate our fireplace mantel. Orange or brown candle?

I can do this. Life is good.

Postcards from Everywhere

Hi. My name is Maria and I am passionate about postcards.

Remember postcards? Once upon a time a postcard was the perfect way to chronicle a summer vacation, a study abroad, or a weekend getaway. It was a photo diary -- the front of the card showed the location, and the back offered a brief description of the sights. 

It was a way of sharing one part of the world with someone living in another part of the world, and the wanderlust in me fueled my postcard collection. I have hundreds of them.

I loved sending postcards, receiving postcards, and buying postcards as souvenirs.

When we first took our sons to Italy, the boys used postcards to keep a travel journal. Every day they selected a postcard, filled it out, and mailed it to themselves. The best part was that once they returned home the postcards arrived, one at a time, from all the places we had visited. 

Yesterday I was going through my postcard collection from all over the world--Belgium, Jerusalem, Moscow, Chicago, Korea, Brazil, Germany, France. And Italy (of course). I loved the memories each postcard evoked, and I loved the stories behind some of them. Here are a few that stand out ...

1- The Edelweiss

In my book I tell the story of my almost Italian boyfriend (I say "almost" because we left Italy to come back to the States just when he told me he liked me). Anyway, we corresponded for a while, mainly with postcards. I especially loved this postcard, sent from the Dolomites where he was training to become an alpino ... a member of the Italian Army Infantry Corps. He was writing the postcard in the dark because it was snowing heavily and the elctricity kept going out. On the front of the postcard are two real edelweiss, the white flower with star-staped petals which grows in the Alps. Some people associate edelweiss with the song from The Sound of Music, but edelweiss always reminds me of this postcard.

2- The Address

While postcards are always about where they are from, I also like where they are sent. Take this postcard from my Nonna. Notice the address? She sent it to me while I was a student at The University of Georgia. (Sidenote: at UGA one wall of my dorm room was plastered with postcards.)

Here is another example. This postcard was from my sister who was in Italy (our high school graduation gift was a trip to Italy, and that summer it was Laura's turn). What is interesting is, again, the address. She sent it to me while I was studying abroad in Salamanca, Spain. Two sisters spending the summer abroad in Europe, sending postcards to each other.  

3- Postcard from a priest

I was always amazed that our parish priest took the time to purchase, address, and then mail a postcard to our family from Oberammergau, Germany where he had gone to see the Passion Play that is performed once every ten years. (For you locals, the priest was Fr. DiFrancesco.)

4- Postcards that Come Back

When my grandparents on my father's side passed away, my father returned to me a postcard I had sent them from a mission trip to Haiti. I was touched they had kept my postcard all those years. 

5- Postcards from Exotic Places

Do you know how excited I was when we received a postcard from Moscow?

6- Postcards that Bring You Full Circle

During our Girls' Trip to Italy this past September, one of the places we visited was Isola Bella, a beautiful island in the middle of Lago Maggiore. With its splendid palazzo and terraced gardens, Isola Bella is truly breathtaking. Imagine my surprise yesterday when I discovered this from 1985: a postcard from my Nonna who was visiting ... Isola Bella!

Passport to Nowhere

 Once Upon a Time ... 

my sister and I shared a passport. 

Speak to Me Sunday: Letters from the Vatican

Yesterday I went through a bin of old papers, journals, and letters. I was SUPPOSED to be cleaning out our closet, but opening that bin sent me down a rabbit hole for a solid two hours. 

Sometimes you need to change pathways, and that closet could wait another day.

Besides, how else would I have come across these ...

1- A telegram from Citta del Vaticano -- the Vatican -- containing an official apostolic blessing. It arrived just before Joe and I were married.

2- A letter from an old friend studying at the Pontifical North American College in Rome. At the time, I was in college and seeing someone who was discerning a vocation to the priesthood. It was a confusing time, and my seminarian friend wrote a truly beautiful letter about discernment and how God calls us to different vocations. The guy I was dating did eventurally enter the seminary (today he is a Fransciscan priest), and I embraced my vocation when I married Joe.

And Now You Know

Our son returned home last night after a 5-hour shift working at Publix. He always has some interesting stories.

"What's the weirdest food item someone has bought?" I asked.

"I don't know about the weirdest food item," said Timothy. "But I can tell you what is the most purchased item."

"Milk?" I asked. "Bread? Flour?"

"Coffee creamer," he answered. "The one with the red cap. It is in literally every order I bag."

And there you have it.

Forget toilet paper or paper towels. Lysol wipes? Meh. It's all about the coffee creamer.

Friday Favorites (vol 11): surprise packages, baby yoda, witty teens, canal padlocks

 1- Unexpected packages

An old college friend sent me a package with products supporting local businesses in Georgia. And support them I shall. I love a good chapstick and a luxuriant goat milk lotion ... all natural!

Blackberry Farmstead

Blue Haven Bee Company

2- Cute Le Creusets

Wow ... two surprises within a week. These espresso cups arrived in the mail from a special somebody who appreciates my love for coffee.

3- Baby Yoda

When your son works at Publix and sees the cutest reusable shopping bag featuring Baby Yoda, and knowing his mom thinks that Baby Yoda is the cutetest thing evah, he buys it for her.

4- Witty Teenagers

Speaking of the 6'4" bambino ... a conversation.

"Okay. What's that?" he asked, pointing to a pan of roasted vegetables and sounding scared. He is not a lover of vegetables. 

"Roasted vegetables," I replied. "Specifically squash, I did not use zucchini because I know you don't like them."

"And HOW is this any better?" he deadpanned. 

I laughed. But he ate exactly two spoonfuls anyway without complaining. Well, not much. 

5- Photo of the Week

Love padlocks. As seen on the Augusta Canal. Shiny, rusty, whimsical, ornate or plain ... each one tells a story.

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

by e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

 

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Once Upon a Time I Said "Yes" to the Dress. Today I Gave it Away.

Thirty years ago I said yes to the dress.

For all those years it has been packed away in a preservation box.

This morning I unpackaged it, said goodbye, and donated it to Angel Gowns ... a non-profit organization that provides infant burial gowns for families grieving the loss of the littlest of souls. 

a great day

 i ate dinner for lunch

breakfast for dinner

and to make it more confusing

no breakfast at all

 

i turned left instead of right

then right, until

i was good and truly lost

but okay with not being found

 

i sang the words all wrong

to a radio song

wrote a poem that did not rhyme

except perhaps these last four lines

 

i hoped for rain when it was sunny

forgot my sunglasses on a walk

watched the news then wished i had not

answered the phone and wished the same

 

i hemmed when i should have hawed

went to instead of fro

but tried to make my topsy turvy day

a turvy topsy one

i switched wonky for the fantastical

and even stood on my head

to turn an upside-down smile

right-side up again

*from the files of very bad poetry by bia

"Laughing Sally" can be found in downtown Little Rock, Arkansas

life story

 a tree dances

 

twigs tap

leaves twirl

limbs sway

words in the wind

whispering

once upon a time

 

long, long ago

 

a story of childhood

dragons fought

treasures found

kings and queens

dungeons and castles

rooted in the soul

 

experienced, remembered

 

earth burrowed

heaven reached

Father Time

keeping time

one with the story

leaves in a book

 

a tree bends

 

twigs crack

leaves wilt

limbs snap

words borne

on a gentle breeze

whispering

 

the end

*from the files of very bad poetry by bia

Speak to Me Sunday: In Wonder and Awe

Last night I was sitting in church before Mass thinking how, this time last year, we had just arrived to Venice on three water taxis which let us off right at St. Mark's Square. Then, after checking in to our hotel, I called my mother to update her on our travels. 

And she had a suggestion.

"Go to the 6:45 p.m. Mass in St. Mark's Cathedral," she advised. "Usually the interior lights are turned off to protect the artwork, even during the day with the tour groups, but when they celebrate Mass the lights are all on. Everything inside is illuminated, and it's not something everyone gets to see."

We changed our plans. Dinner was postponed and our evening agenda was set aside. We walked across St. Mark's Square to the Basilica which, when we first walked in, was like stepping into a golden glow of shimmering mosaics, flickering candles, whispered prayers, and the smell of incense.

 All the excitement of travel -- what we had visited, eaten, experienced -- fell away to the present of just sitting there, under a golden glow, feeling grateful, humble, and most of all, in awe of everything.

Those same feeling returned last night as I sat before Mass reflecting on our trip. I had received so many texts and messages asking about the trip, how it went and what we saw, what was my favorite place or what we had purchased, but I found it hard to put 13 days of adventure (in which we did a LOT) into a coherent response. Where to begin?

At St. Mark's Basilica.

To that sense of gratitude for safety and wholeness, because despite a million and one things that could have gone wrong -- missed flights, lost luggage, illness, accident, misplaced passports, bad weather -- nothing had. 

To that feeling of humility of trusting in God even as we faced our fears: the responsibility of getting everyone from here, to there, and back home again; of leaving behind loved ones and heading out of the familiar and into the unknown, real and imagined.

To that sense of wonder and awe.

Because we there, and we are now home.

Amen.

Photo Itinerary: 13 days, 13 photos (a 2019 Girls' Trip to Italy anniversary post)

All week I have been celebrating the one year anniversary of our Girls' Trip to Italy, and on this day exactly one year ago thirty-one women departed for a 13-day adventure. 

Today, my last post will be a photo itinerary ... 13 days, 13 photos. 

FLORENCE

(birthplace of the Renaissance)

SIENA

(home of the Palio)

(we met Rosanna Bonelli, first woman to race as a jockey in the 1957 Palio)

SAN GIMIGNANO

(Medievel town, site of Franco Zeffirelli's film, Tea with Mussolini)

PORTOVENERE

(a rainy day diverted us here, but it turned out

to be one of our favorite places)

SANTA MARGHERITA

(view from our hotel balcony)

PORTOFINO

(formerly a fishing village, now the playground of the rich and famous)

MILANO

(a little opera, a big cathedral, a little shopping)

STRESA

(view from our hotel terrace)

ISOLA BELLA

(an island, a palazzo, terraced gardens)

ISOLA SAN GIULIO

(an island, Basilica of San Giulio, a Benedictine Monastery)

BOLZANO

(a little Bavaria in northern Italy)

VERONA

(home of Romeo and Juliet)

(home of our relatives!)

VENEZIA

(our hotel = fifteen steps in one direction brings you to Piazza San Marco; 

one step in another direction lands you in the canal)

Top 10-ish Favorite Moments (a 2019 Girls' Trip to Italy anniversary post)

Where to even begin selecting favorite moments from our trip? The entire trip was a whopping series of wonderful moments, but when you break the trip down by day, or by city or by meal, then certain memories surface. Some of those moments were experienced by all, while some were very personal; some made us laugh, while others made us cry (in a good way). Here are a few of mine ...

The First Hurdle

When I organize a trip, the first big hurdle is when everyone shows up at the airport on the day of departure. All the planning must now come together--the plane tickets, boarding passes, passports--and I hold my breath until everyone has checked in and gone through security. At the gate I make a final count ... and finally take my first deep breath. Off we go!

The First Dinner

A short flight to Atlanta where we met up with the rest of our group (two from Florida, one from Maryland, one from NYC), an overnight flight across the ocean, a layover in Amsterdam with multiple security checks, one last flight to Florence, half an hour at Baggage Claim (no lost luggage!), a short bus ride to out hotel in Pistoia ... after all that, plus a shower, it was wonderful to meet in the dining room of our hotel that evening for cocktails and a Welcome Dinner. We raised our glasses of wine ... we made it!

Art Emotions

Because I had done a presentation on Michelangelo's David at one of our information sessions prior to our trip, we were ready to meet him. And he did not disappoint. It was a visceral experience to enter the Accademia Gallery, turn a corner, and see Michelangelo's masterpiece at the end of the hallway. I'm not kidding. It was majestic. Humbling. Emotional.

The First Gelato

Of many. We basically had our first gelato in Florence and then in every city we visited. And sometimes we had gelato twice in one day. What can I say? La dolce vita ...

In Awe

During some free time in Florence a group of us decided to visit the Basilica of Santa Croce which contains the tombs of Michelangelo, Machiavelli, and Galileo. There is also Dante's tomb, but it is empty (he is actually buried in Ravenna since he was exiled from Florence). Why was this memorable?Because I had forgotten these tombs were there. I mean, can you imagine? Galileo! MICHELANGELO!

Sister Time

In Milano, my sister and I decided to go to Marchesi, one of Milan's oldest pastry shops (since1824). There, on the second floor overlooking the Galleria, we ordered an affogato ... vanilla ice cream with espresso poured on top. It was molto delizioso. Fortified with caffeine and sugar, we then each purchased a purse inside one of the Galleria's boutiques. When we texted our husband a photo of us holding shopping bags from the Galleria, they were very, very worried.

Going Up

After a day exploring Isola San Giulio, the bus driver dropped a group us off at the foot of a mountain where we took two cable cars and one chair lift to go up, up, up until we were on the top of the world. At one point, Rose Ann opened her phone and realized she had internet access from ... SWITZERLAND! We walked, explored, visited a church, and had a quick espresso before reversing the trip back down. We walked along the shore of Lago Maggiore back to Stresa and our hotel. 

Arriving in Style

Venice was at the end of our trip, and we had saved the best for last. After saying goodbye to our bus driver, we boarded water taxis for an adventurous boat ride across the lagoon before triumphantly arriving in Piazza San Marco. It sounds a tad dramatic, but it WAS dramatic. And awesome.

The Hills are Alive

The mountains are my happy place, and one of my favorite memories from the trip was a quiet afternoon we spent on top of a mountain near Bolzano exploring, walking, and marveling at the scenery. More than one person mentioned the movie, The Sound of Music. We felt like we were Maria von Trapp. 

The Iceman

Okay, this might seem crazy, but one memorable moment for EVERYONE happened in Bolzano when we visited the Archaelogical Museum and saw Otzi -- a 5,300 year old glacial mummy whose body was discovered by hikers in 1991. Because our tickets granted us entry before the museum opened to the general public, we were able to get up close and personal to him. We had a great tour guide and it was incredibly fascinating to see someone who walked in the mountains near Bolzano over 5,000 years ago. 

Vino

We visited two vineyards during our trip, the Bellavista Vineyard and the Palagetto Vineyard. We sampled wines, we took tours, and we even had a lovely lunch.  There is something about a meal served between rows of wine barrels ...

The Gulf of Poets

Sometimes the best things happen without any planning whatsoever. During our trip, we had one day of rain which, unfortunately, prevented us from taking a boat trip to Cinque Terre. So we took the bus to Portovenere instead. Everyone loved Portovenere with its crumbling castle, winding alleyways, and delicious seafood. The town, located on the Gulf of La Spezia, is known as the Gulf of Poets because poets Mary Shelley and Percy Bysshe Shelley had a cottage nearby. Additionally, in Portovenere you can see Byron's Grotto, so named because Lord Byron meditated and drew inspiration for his works there. As you can imagine, the poet in me loved the Gulf of Poets. 

Have Music, Will Travel

Our trip to Milan included a guided tour of La Scala Opera House. We were incredibly blessed to have four members of a church choir (my sister and her three friends from Columbia, SC) and a classically trained opera singer (Mary Brooke) who shared their musical talents with us. One afternoon on the bus they all sang Dona Nobis Pacem (Give Us Peace) which was very moving. In Venice, Mary Brooke sang along with a gondolier, and the next evening Laura and Karla used the canal's acoustics to sing for us on a gondola ride at sunset. On our very last evening in Venice, Mary Brooke sang an aria in an open courtyard where we were dining. The stone walls on all four sides provided excellent acoustics, and when she was finished all the diners, waiters, and fellow travelers cheered. And asked for an encore. 

Un cappuccino, per favore

The instant we entered the main lobby at Regina Palace Hotel in Stresa we were transported to another era. It was so gorgeous. And elegant. I slept underneath a Venetian chandelier made of Murano glass,  and in the morning we walked out onto our terrace where we had a majestic view of Lago Maggiore. A pianist played on a grand piano in the lobby, there was a live band every evening, and waiters straight out of Downton Abbey saw to our every need. I missed those waiters once I returned home and had to make my own cappuccino. Darn it. 

Venice by Night

I have been to Venice many times, but only on day trips from Verona or Vicenza. This was the first time experiencing it at night. When the sun sets and the stars come out, there is mystery and magic in the air. The glow of the streetlights, the sound of water lapping against bridges or buildings, and the music ... there was music everywhere! On our first night a group of us walked by a church, its doors thrown wide open, and stopped to listen to a string concerto. Every evening in Piazza San Marco there were three live bands, and people listening would clap, sing along, or dance right there in the middle of the piazza Piazza under a starry sky. 

Reflections

Sometimes all the beauty we experienced was almost too much to take in. It was like sipping through a straw when we really wanted to take a big gulp.