blooming bushes and budding greens

dawn tiptoes along the sky

whispering promises

of new starts

again beginnings

of blooming bushes

and budding greens

 

once upon a time

awaiting the story

*from the files of very bad poetry by bia

Timothy's Top 10-ish on his 18th

I had planned to write a mushy post in honor of Timothy's birthday, but alas! he would get embarrassed. So I'll do a Top 10-ish list instead. Not embarrassing at all. 

1- Once Upon a Time Timothy thought chocolate was made by mixing water and dirt with spoon. He changed his mind once he tasted it.

2- He loves art galleries. Like, really really likes them.

3- He also really really likes school. Like, just look at that enthusiastic smile.  

4- Timothy and his brothers like to "crick" each other, which is brother-speak for wrestling.

5- In preschool he once got in trouble for saying "poopy words" (exact words in the teacher's note) while the class was rolling out gingerbread dough for cookies. To which I thought: give a child a chunk of brown, lumpy dough and poopy words are a given. 

The very next year in Kindergarten, he received the Christian Service Award. So there's hope. 

6- His older brothers teach him lots of useful things. Pokémon stuff and Formula 1 stuff and video games stuff and how-to-get-out-of-jail stuff. All useful.

7- Timothy was once King of Kandy Castle when his brother let him win in Candy Land.

8- He likes corny jokes.

Q: What did the fish say when it hit a wall? 

A: Damn.

9- Give the kid a Nike sneaker and he can conquer the world. 

10- He gets into serious arguments with his brothers on which Top Gear show is better: American or British. Yikes. Timothy will take you out if you mess with Jeremy, James, or Hammond. British Top Gear all the way.

11- In Disney World, Timothy agreed to sleep on the Princess bed if  Nonno slept in the bed next to the door. You know, to be the first line of defense against an ax murderer. Or a serial killer. Or a Disney Princess.

12- Timothy started working at Publix when the Pandemic lockdown went into effect with a goal to save up enough money to buy his first car. His first paycheck was for $71. Exactly one year later he saved enough to buy his car  with no help from mom and dad.

 

13- Baby brothers grow up. Who knew? Happy birthday, Timothy! 

DISCLAIMERS:

1- Numbers 2 and 3 above are sarcastic. Art museums make him yawn and school is tolerable. Barely.

2- He didn't eat the "chocolate"  but he learned a lot about mud.

3- His "poopy word" was poop. Didn't want you to think it was something else.

4- OF COURSE he won't take you out if you malign the British Top Gear show. But he WILL think less of you. 

Speak to Me Sunday: Living the Question

Wallowing in mediocrity.

Not to be overly dramatic, but those words can haunt me.

As someone who writes (or tries to), plays the guitar (okay-ish), loves art (but is not an artist), dabbles in poetry (the very bad kind), decorates (but panics when selecting paint color), follows fashion (but sticks to wearing black) ... well, I look at that list and think: I am okay at this, I am good at that. Okay is good. Good is good. But is it wrong to yearn to be GREAT in any one of those things? To be able to put pen to paper effortlessly? Play the guitar without sheet music? Create inspirational poetry? Wear bright yellow (or pink or purple) and own it? 

No, it is not wrong, for even as I wallow in mediocrity, even as I struggle to be where I am, the journey of being okay-ish leaves mountains, oceans, galaxies of self exploration and improvement to explore. Being okay-ish dispels complacency and embraces growth.

In truth, I am not so much wallowing as living a question. 

The poet Rainer Maria Rilke, in Letters to a Young Poet, said we should have patience with everything that remains unsolved in the heart; that we must love the questions themselves; that it is okay not to look for immediate answers because then we could not live them. 

And it is important to live the question. 

A question is a good place to begin. It launches astronauts into space, stirs a longing for God, inspires artists, gives imagination to the writer. A question fuels the search, which immediately sets you on a journey. 

Recently, I had an opportunity to live the question when a friend and I signed up for a Beginning Drawing class in Aiken. Suddenly I was immersed in a world of composition, harmony, perspective, light and shadow. I learned the different types of graphite pencils and how to find the vanishing point. I learned how to view the world in a different way, and what a beautiful world it is!

Very Bad Art will now be added to my Files of Very Bad Poetry. 

Which is all sorts of wonderful. I am living the question and love every minute of it.

Have patience with everything that remain unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, liked locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. 

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet