Friday Favorites (vol. 6): tender moments, gradeschool artwork, discovering doorways

1- Receipts from faraway places

Nestled between the pages of the travel journal I found recipts for: 

red leather gloves (Firenze)

un gelato affogato al caffe from the famous Marchesei Cafe (Milan's Galleria)

Venetian ties (Venezia)

mountain chairlift (Bolzano)

2- Tender moments

Captured by a friend: with my sister, pondering Michelangelo's Pieta

3- Gradeschool artwork

Cleaning out a drawer I disovered this. Be still my beating heart.

4- Discovering Unexpected Doorways

Exploring downtown Little Rock Joe and I saw this beautiful ornamental gate. When we walked closer Joe pushed on the door and ... it opened! It was early in the morning, no one was around, so we walked through to discover a beautiful Oriental garden. Later we found out it was the H. U. Lee International Gate and Garden from South Korea. Yes, in downtown Little Rock. 

5- Spying on Sons

I just happened to pull up to Publix the other day and saw Timothy hard at work. 

6- Witty signs

Spotted at a surf shop on Jekyll Island. Perfect, dude. 

7- Photo of the Week

Taken while biking the Virgina Creeper Trail somewhere in Virginia.

Doggie and Kitty

once upon a time

there was

a cat named doggie

and a dog name kitty

go fetch little doggie

and the cat runs off

come here kitty, kitty

and the dog comes

doggie and kitty

live their days

doggie doing cat things

kitty doing dog things

confusing everyone

but themselves

*from the files of very bad poetry by bia

Saying Goodbye

I first met Sterling at the Starbucks in Target. She was the very last person to sign up for a group trip to Italy my sister and I had organized, and we met so I could give her the itinerary, collect her deposit, and answer any questions she might have. I liked her right away. She told me about her family's trip to France the previous summer, we realized we had mutual friends, and she was very open about what life was like living with breast cancer. She had just finished treatment and had been given the all-clear to travel, so she was excited to join our group.

Sterling walked all over Rome and the Amalfi Coast with a smile on her face. She was ALWAYS smiling. One afternoon we were walking through the Roman Forum when I happened to notice she was limping. Earlier that morning we had visited the Vatican Museums and toured the Colosseum, so it had been a long day. When I stepped back to walk with her, I suggested that we could sit on a bench and the group would pick us up on the way back. She laughed. "Oh no. Look at me ... I am in ITALY. I just walked through the Colosseum. I feel great and I don't want to miss a second." And she didn't.

During the planning for our second group trip last September, an opening came up at the last minute (literally 10 days before our trip) so I reached out to Sterling to see if she wanted to take that spot. There was a flurry of phone calls and texts that weekend to discuss details. She was on a new medication and for the first time in months felt energetic, so when she checked with her doctor he told her to go to Italy! In the end, though, there was too much on the calendar with family obligations to make the trip. But this was a good thing! We agreed that life is pretty grand when you're too busy for a trip to Italy. Then, two days before our trip, Sterling sent me the following text: "Wishing all of you safe travels and lots of laughter."

This past Saturday, Sterling passed away. It is hard to reconcile the idea of a vibrant, smiling Sterling with her not being here on this earth. We have lost someone very special, but heaven has gained a smiling soul. She will be remembered. She will be missed.

Beach Music

The beach umbrella provided a perfect circle of shade, the waves rolled onto the shore, and the laughter and chatter of children carried on the ocean breeze. 

And as I sat on my Tommy Bahamas beach chair I had the most profound thought: Oh what a stupid I am.

You see, in the weeks leading up to our beach vacation, I shed a lot of blood, sweat, and tears worrying about finding the most flattering bathing suit, on how I would manage my beach hair, and whether or not I had time to lose 5-10 pounds. While I don't consider myself a vain person, the truth is I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about what I weigh, how I look, or whether or not I am having a good hair day. Then, factor in a BEACH vacation and the preoccupation ratchets up several notches. 

Because there is no hiding ANYTHING at the beach.

Exposure, however, provides clarity because there I was, in my bathing suit, feeling stupid because none of that angst ... NONE of it ... mattered. It had all been for naught. 

I looked around at the amazing display of the human form around me, at the tanned, ghostly white, freckled, skinny, and fat; there were muscled bodies, flabby ones, and many in-between ones; I saw wrinkles, sagging bellies, frizzy hair, and bald heads; some people wore modest, sensible bathing suits, while others wore hardly anything at all. 

The point is, everyone was more than their body! A man with with a massive beer belly was comforting a crying toddler who had been knocked over by a wave; a pregnant woman sat under an umbrella wearing a sunflower hat, her twin daughters wearing matching hats were digging in the sand; a body builder, heavily muscled and deeply tanned, tip-toed on the hot sand with the gracefulness of a ballet dancer; a grandfather wearing socks and open-toed sandals watched his grandchildren playing a competitive game of bocce; a woman in her eighties pumped her arms as she walked past others half her age. 

No one was perfect, but they were all beautiful. 

But if I could see this beauty in others, why then could I not see it in myself?

I know I am not unique in saying that self-acceptance is a struggle for many women and that it manifests itself in different phases of our lives. When I was younger, a lot of that struggle was about wanting to measure up to the actress on the movie screen, the model in the magazine, or the friend in Bible study who lost ten pounds. Accepting who we are was all tied up with our yearning for a better future self. Then, as the years went by it was shocking to realize that, despite our best efforts, age catches up to us and now the struggle of self-acceptance originates from a deep-seated longing for time to stand still. 

We want to be as we were in the past even as we struggle to hold on to who we are in the present. 

Nothing can ever be what it was. The earth turns, the sun rises and sets, the moon waxes and wanes, and the waves advance and recede. Life is too short to worry about tomorrow's sun when you are watching it rise today, or about the encroaching darkness when the moon peeks through the treetops, or about a gone wave when another is just arriving. 

With these deep, contemplative thoughts I felt my worries and insecurities carry away with the wind and leave behind the realization that ... hey ... I can embrace who I am. Even there, on that beach wearing a bathing suit. Sure, there is room for improvment, and I will continue to strive to be a better me, but that shouldn't have anything to do with accepting (and being happy with) who I am right here and now. 

Don't wait to dance until you hear the music of tomorrow when there is an orchestra playing today. 

P. S. For other posts on body image, please read ...

Smiling Eyes

To Behold

Buen Camino: Finding the Way

For you, on this Feast Day of St. James ... 

           

In the very northwest corner of Spain is a beautiful shrine called the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela where, according to tradition, the apostle St. James is buried. Beginning in the 9th century, this cathedral was the destination of what became known as The Way of St. James (El Camino de Santiago), a leading pilgrimage route for people all over Europe; in fact, the pilgrimage to the shrine became the most renowned in Europe, and it was customary for those who returned from their pilgrimage to bring back a scalloped shell as proof they made it to the coast and completed their journey. Over time, the scalloped shell became a traditional symbol of the pilgrim because the shell’s grooves, which meet at a single point, represent the various routes to Santiago de Compostela.

           

Today, people still make that pilgrimage, walking el camino (the way) over mountain ranges, alongside streams, through beautiful open fields and, at the end of each day, stopping to rest in one of the countless villages along the way. The pilgrims typically carry three things: a walking stick, a scalloped shell as symbol that they are a pilgrim, and a “pilgrim passport” which is stamped with an official St. James stamp at every village where they stop to spend the night. By the time they reach their destination this passport is filled with stamps marking the points along their walk.

           

Just this week I watched a beautiful movie entitled The Way starring Martin Sheen and directed by his son, Emilio Estevez. The movie tells the story of a grieving father walking to Santiago de Compostela carrying the cremated remains of his son. Along the way he meets other pilgrims, each one with a different reason for walking el camino: to lose weight, to get over a relationship, to grieve, to find God. Even those who were doing it for no reason whatsoever, in the end, found meaning.

           

Perhaps the most beautiful part of this modern day pilgrimage is this: over and over, as people pass each other on el camino, sit down for a meal together at the end of the day or stand in line to get their passports stamped, you hear them wishing each other a buen camino. Translated literally, buen camino means “a good walk/path”, but within the context of a pilgrimage the phrase takes on a deeper meaning. To wish someone a buen camino is to wish them well in finding meaning and purpose on their pilgrimage.

           

And during this time in which the way is unclear, this is what I wish for you … a buen camino. 

Friday Favorites (vol. 5): an article, a stockpile, a shakerato, two gone beds, and a photo

A weekly roundup of a few of my favorite things ...

-1- Getting published

Kathy McCabe is the host and executive producer of the PBS travel series Dream of Italy. She also publishes an online magazine (subscription only) and recently asked readers to submit articles for a special summer edition of the magazine. I submitted an article and it was selected. Initially they were going to edit my article for length, but last week I received the following message: Hi Maria! I just wanted to let you know that Kathy loved your story so much that we have decided to run the longer version as a full page. It will be the only full page story in the issue! 

Well, now. Please as punch am I! Unfortunately, I cannot give a link to the magazine because it is subscription only, but if you visit the  Dream of Italy  website and become a member, you will have instant access to the magazine. I'm on page 3 ;-)

-2- Stockpiling Grissini

Some people hoard toilet paper. Or Clorox wipes. Me? I stockpile these boxes of grissini from Lidl. They don't have them all the time, but when they do ...

For lunch today I had roasted vegetables, a boiled egg, a chunk of Parmigiano Reggiano, and these grissini. So, so good. 

-3- A Cocktail Shaker for Coffee

During these dog days of summer, when I break out into a sweat just walking to my mailbox, I am not feeling my afternoon espresso. I want something cool! So instead I pull out my cocktail shaker and make myself a Caffe Shakerato. In Italy, as soon as the weather gets hot this cool espresso makes an appearance, often served in a chilled martini or wine glass. Like all good Italian recipes, the genius is in its simplicity. There are THREE ingredients: two shots of espresso, sugar, ice cubes.

Instructions: Brew the espresso and pour into the base of a cocktail shaker. Add sugar and stir until dissolved. Then add ice cubes and shake vigorously until the shaker is frosted and an espresso foam is created. Strain into a chilled glass and serve. 

-4- Finding a Home

Recently we listed for sale a pair of antique twin beds. Now that the older boys are on their own, it was time to freshen up their room. The beds sold in two days to a family who wanted them for their two small sons. And as sad as it was to see them go, I am happy the beds will be used for another generation of brothers. 

-5- Photo of the Week: Time Passages

Little boys grow up. Who knew? Darn it. 

Something for Your Pocket

Look what came in yesterday's mail! 

Sometimes called a finger rosary, a pocket rosary, or a decade rosary, these knotted suede rosaries are handmade by my very talented nephew and available on Etsy. I ordered five (one for each member of the family) in five different colors (brown, grey, black, navy, and tan). Each rosary comes in a linen drawstring bag and two prayer cards. 

(For my non-Catholic readers, a rosary is simply a means to enter into prayer in a meditative and contemplative manner. It is not a prayer to Mary, but a request for her to pray for us; that is, we are asking for her intercession in the hopes that her prayers will be joined with ours. (It is no different than asking someone to pray for/with you.)

I may be biased, but my nephew did an awesome job. While there are plenty of rosaries made with cord or beads, there are not that many made with a suede; as such, they are soft, pliable, and do not snag ... which makes them just perfect for pockets. 

Thomas' Etsy Site

Speak to Me Sunday: Listen

The Chinese character for the word “listen” is made by combining two main characters: one depicting the ears, and the other depicting the heart. Why? Because listening wholeheartedly with undivided attention requires the use of not only the ears, but also the heart.

Do you hear what I hear?

In today’s world of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, everyone has a voice. With posts, tweets and blogs, people are vying to be heard. With news broadcasts, radio programs, talk shows and podcasts, the entire country is talking. Everyone wants to offer their opinions, confer their beliefs, and promote their political agenda. And by golly, everyone better listen.  

But what happens when what we are saying is not getting through? When our words scatter in the wind like confetti?

The talking gets louder. And faster. It becomes accusatory (“You’re not listening to me!”) and dismissive (“I am right. You are wrong. End of discussion.”) and very, very judgmental (“Who do you think you are?”). The talking resorts to name-calling and labels people as Democrat or Republican, Christian or non-Christian, mask wearers or non-mask wearers, black or white. We reduce the entire essence of a person or group into one tiny label until that label is all we see anymore.

Then, to make sure we are not alone, we create kingdoms with others who are like-minded; we build our walls, put up our fences, climb our tall towers, draw lines in the sand. We form political parties and special interest groups. We hold town hall meetings and political rallies. And we continue to talk, talk, talk mainly to others who are just. like. us.

All this talk, but is anyone really listening?

Civil discourse is a lost art. Once upon a time people listened with the intent to understand; but today it seems people listen with the intent to reply.

The world, more than ever, is so complicated. So much of what is going on right now is messy and uncertain and scary. But instead of uniting us, we have become divisive; instead of rising to the occasion, we are wallowing in the mud.

One day a student and teacher were talking.

“How can a decent, respectful human being understand the real-world situation?” asked the student.

“Always listen wholeheartedly to both sides and you will be enlightened,” the teacher responded. “Listen to only one side and you will be left in the dark.”

The thing is, you cannot change someone’s mind by yelling at them, pointing a finger, or calling them names; you cannot solidify your position by toppling statues or breaking windows; you cannot show someone the way when you have shoved them to the ground.

You cannot talk of love when you spew hate.

It really does not have to be this way, and the solution is not that complicated. If you build a wall, put in a door; if you isolate yourself in tall tower, lower a ladder; if you a draw a line in the sand, extend a hand over it.

Do not try to change someone else’s mind. Instead listen to their unique story, tell them yours, and discover common ground. 

After all, the most basic of all human needs is to understand and be understood.

And the best way to understand people is to listen … with both your ears and your heart.

Seeking Your Professional Opinion on a Kitchen Makeover

Tell me what you think!

When our son moved to Atlanta we gave him our kitchen table, so I am using this as an excuse redo our kitchen. Below is the "before" photo followed by some ideas. And to help you know our thought process ... 

I was ready—excited!—to try a round table, but it just does not work in that space. Because of our 10-ft ceilings we need the table to look substantial, but if we get one big enough for scale purposes it doesn’t leave enough room for chairs; additionally, the space is more rectangular than it appears, and a round table looks odd.

So I am looking for an oval or rectangle table. The window toppers, lamps, and painting are going. 

Also ... 

1- I want to get rid of the baker’s rack, but what do I do with that space?

2- I'm not sure whether or not to keep the painted credenza. Part of me wants it to complement the new table, but part of me wants a monochromatic look. 

Friday Favorites (vol. 4)

-1- Making My Son Laugh

"I'm sure the dealer knew he was going to make a sale when you showed up at the dealership in an Uber." ~me, to Jonathan when he texted from the Toyota dealership in Atlanta to say he was signing the papers for a new car.

-2- Making My Son NOT Laugh

Yeah, he wasn't smiling while waiting for me to try on glasses at the mall. But this photo made me laugh. Look at him scratching his head waiting for mom to be done already. 

-3 Easy Lunches

Tuna, tomatoes, mini cucumbers, green onions, rice ... and you are good to go. 

-4- Natural deodorant

I've tried a lot of them, and Native is still the best (for me, because natural deodorants are different for everyone). My favorite scents are Lavender & Rose and Coconut & Vanilla. 

-5- Photo of the Week

Fishing nets on Isola dei Pescatori (Fisherman's Island) in Lago Maggiore, Italy. 

Letters Against Isolation

As someone who celebrates the magic and legacy of a handwritten letter, I was excited when my friend, Kate Wicker, told me about an organization that recruits volunteers to write letters to senior citizens in assisted living or care homes. 

Started by sisters Shreya and Saffron, Letters Agains Isolation recruits volunteers to bring some cheer to those who are isolated and suffering from feelings of loneliness. And it couldn't be easier to volunteer. Each week the organization sends you a Google spreadsheet of care facilities across the country along with the number of letters each facility needs. Then, you simply click on the facility and indicate the number of letters you want to send. 

And that's it. This week I pulled out my scrapbooking supplies, cut some stationery down to size, added a few stickers, and today ten handwritten letters are heading to an extended care facility in California. 

Just sending a little love from here to all the way over there. 

Breakfast to Go (a road trip tale of two breakfasts)

When we were in Little Rock this past weekend we stayed at the downtown Marriott. Upon checking in they informed us they no longer served breakfast but offered guests a grab-and-go "brown bag breakfast" for our convenience. 

Now, we were okay with the no breakfast thing, but intrigued with the grab-and-go breakfast idea. We thought that, with the money Marriott is not spending on an elaborate breakfast buffet, the brown bag breakfasts would be fun! So we imagined croissants, bagels, bottled juice, and small packets of butter and jelly, all nestled in a brown bag with utensils and a paper napkin.  

This is what we got. 

The apple was the size of a plum. The muffin even smaller. (And if you look closely, half of my plum-sized apple was one giant bruise.)

It was so pitiful we had to laugh. 

Then I remembered our hotel in Sorrento, Italy. On the day we left, we had to be at the aiport so early that we would miss breakfast. But no problem! The hotel provided us with a grab-and-go "white bag breakfast" for us to enjoy. 

This is what we got.

I'll just let the photos speak for themselves ... 

Where to Go When You Have to Go (a COVID-19 road trip story)

It started with two gallon-sized Ziploc bags, one marked CLEAN MASKS and one marked DIRTY MASKS.

Then it was hand sanitizers in every feasible location: my purse, car console, glove compartment, back seat, and day backpack. 

Finally, a GIANT tub of Clorox wipes. 

We did all this in preparation for a road trip from Augusta, Georgia to Little Rock, Arkansas in order to spend the long July 4th weekend with our son. 

During our time in Little Rock here's what we did on repeat: Mask On, Mask Off.

Mask On for walking through hotel lobbies, crowded streets, gas stations, grocery stores, and to-go counters. 

Mask Off for when we were outside with no one around, inside our hotel room, at my son's apartment, and in the car.

It's interesting to travel when not everything is open, or not open all the way, which means it becomes necessary to plan meals in advance (is the restaurant open or closed?) and, most importantly, know where to find a restroom.

I'm not kidding. The restroom thing was an issue. Most public places are still closed, so this means the public restrooms are too. 

On the drive to Little Rock we didn't have a problem. The timing worked out so that when we needed a break we were able to stop at a rest area or welcome center which were all open ... sort of. The information offices were closed, but the restrooms were (thankfully!) open and clean. We also were surprised to discover they were not crowded. And since we packed our lunch, we ate outside and had minimal contact with anyone.

Our return trip was a nightmare. Nary a rest area or welcome center when we needed it. For lunch, we stopped at a Chick-fil-A to get some food and to use the restroom. Ha! Drive-thru was open, dining area was closed. So no restrooms. But were we ever impressed by the efficiency of that drive-thru! The entire parking lot was a maze of lanes, and the Chick-fil-A employees walked along each car taking orders as we slowly progressed to the pay station and then to the pick-up station. Employees were gloved and masked. And friendly. It was amazing. 

We received our order but SOMEONE still REALLY needed to go to the restroom. So we drove two blocks to a gas station and stood in line because A/ one stall for the men, and B/ two stall for the women, and C/ every member of a youth group had to go too. 

Finally back in the car, we pulled out our lunch. Remember how impressed we had been with the efficiency Chick-fil-A? Well, they forgot Joe's sandwich and boy was he hopping mad. After all that hassle of bathrooms and lines and traffic and the chirpy youth group he was DONE. It was almost funny, except he was so MAD we knew better than to laugh (which just about killed Timothy and me;-) I did share my grilled nuggets with him, and Timothy gave him some fries. 

Fast forward to later, and we needed to make another bathroom stop (this was a 10-trip, so please don't think we have bladder issues). 

We stopped at a KFC because it was right off the interstate and it looked open. Ha! Restrooms were closed but Hey! would you like a chicken biscuit? Well, Joe was mad again and walked  stomped across the road (and in the rain) to a Waffle House. 

What's the moral of the story? It's this: traveling during COVID-19 makes a simple road trip into something ... not simple. The restroom issue made our drive home longer--either because we were looking for one, or standing in line for one; additionally, the fact that we couldn't make one stop to take care of all our needs--food and a restroom--meant we had to make multiple stops. And then ... then there was news of an accident ahead which resulted in the GPS re-routing us and Joe, who has a love-hate relationship with Google Maps, got mad again because it tried to take us a stupid way so he pulled over and re-routed the re-route. 

Sheesh. 

About one hour to go, SOMEONE (not Joe this time) needed to you-know-what, but the decision was made to hold it together until we arrived home. 

And then Joe couldn't open the front door fast enough. 

Friday Favorites (vol. 3)

A weekly roundup of a few of my favorite things ...

-1- All Things Hamilton

Exactly two years ago I flew to Washington DC with my sister and two friends. Just before our trip we realized that Hamilton was playing at the Kennedy Center, and despite the steep prices we purchased tickets. No regrets whatsoever. When we entered the theater the usher said, "Welcome to the room where it happens." I got goosebumps. It was by far the best Broadway show I have ever seen (and I've seen many). 

Tonight, the stage production of Hamilton (with the original cast members) will air on Disney+. We don't have Disney+ right now, but we'll be subscribing very, very soon. One of my goals in life is for my husband and sons to see a live show; in the meantime, we'll be tuning in to Disney. 

-2- Chocolate Covered Temptation

Keep this stuff away from me. Oh, the trail mix is good, but it's the chocolate covered caramel bites that call my name. Relentlessly. When I go to Target (which is way more often than I'd like to admit) I have to stay away from the snack/trail mix/ peanut aisle.

-3-  Athleisure Dresses

These dresses made by Columbia feature their signature wicking fabric, advance cooling technology, and UPF 30 sun protection. They are comfortable, flattering, and wrinkle-free. I didn't buy one in every color ... but just about. 

-4- Road Trips in Rental Cars

We are headed to Little Rock to visit our eldest son. But here's the funny thing. We recently purchased a new car when our van (with 228,459 miles) finally breathed its last. Since we did not want to immediately put 650 miles on our brand new car, Joe decided to use his Avis points to rent a car. But here's is the funny thing: Avis gave him the same car we bought! Well almost ... they're the same color, but ours has a sun roof. And leather seats. We fancy ;-)

Below is a picture of our car (a Hyundai Santa Fe) which we we are NOT taking to Little Rock. But it looks like the rental car which we WILL be taking. It's confusing, I know. 

-5- Lone Flowers

A Good Mail Day

You know it's going to be a good mail day when a large, padded GOLD envelope arrives in the mail with an order from Canadian-Italian artist, Jennifer Leo. 

I stumbled upon Jennifer's work on Instagram (via another account I follow, Girl in Florence) and immediately checked out her website and Etsy shop. I was especially intrigued with her Italy travel art. Such color! Such whimsy! And because nine months ago I was in Italy, and because I had given a lecture to our group on Brunelleschi's dome, I just had to buy a print of a city street in Florence with the Duomo in the background.

I couldn't be happier with my selection; the colors are even more vibrant in person. In addition to the print, inside the padded gold envelope was a black matboard, a postcard of my print, and a thank you note. 

It truly was a most excellent mail day.