They
could not have found a more perfect actress to play Lou. She was cute, funny,
self-effacing, brave, loving – basically everything you imagined her to be. Really,
all the characters were spot on. I especially loved Lou’s boyfriend (also known
as Running Man) who, in his all self-centeredness, was oddly endearing. And if you think he reminds you of Neville
Longbottom from the Harry Potter series, why, you would be correct. He’s all
grown up, now. And funny.
Did you notice …
I’ve
read the book three times. I’ve seen the movie. Here are a few interesting
interpretations, insights, symbolisms, and ironies I noticed:
-Lou is
caring for a man who cannot walk while dating someone who is training for a
triathlon.
-It’s
interesting that the author chose the name Will who, in the end, no longer has
the will to live.
-The
title, Me Before You, can be interpreted a variety of ways: Will before meeting
Lou or, conversely, Lou before meeting Will – or more simply, who I was before
I met you. But critics of the book have pointed out that the title can also be
viewed as me before you (a selfish attitude) as opposed to you before me (a
sacrifice).
-In the
book, Lou’s mother is one of the most vocal against Will’s decision. Her
viewpoint is strongly maternal, and in the movie it is not a coincidence that
she is wearing a gold cross necklace.
Dignitas
When I
first read the book I had never heard of Dignitas and so I googled it, thinking
that the author, Jojo Moyes, had made it up. She didn’t. The Dignitas motto, To live with dignity – to die with dignity,
highlights the association’s goal of providing counseling with regard to all
end of life issues including accompaniment
of dying patients and assistance with a self-determined end of life. In
other words, assisted suicide.
As I
browsed the website, everything that is Catholic within me was horrified. I
know that over the years there have been countless stories of people choosing
to end their life rather than be faced with a debilitating illness, such as
Brittany Maynard who ended her life rather than succumb to brain cancer. But
this … to make an appointment to die? To travel to Switzerland (where assisted
suicide is legal), check in, say goodbye to loved ones, and then … check out of
life? It just felt wrong on so many levels.
Dignitas in the movie
Now, I
will tell you that the movie glossed over the Dignitas angle; in fact, other
than a quick view of the name in a letterhead, it’s not really mentioned and
never is it fully explained. Honestly, if I hadn’t read the book I don’t think
I would have fully understood what Will was planning to do. Nor does the scene provide
any insight as to how Will actually dies. One minute Will is in bed saying
goodbye, and in the next scene he isn’t there.
There is
no doubt that the movie sugar-coats Will’s decision. Maybe the producers backed
off from an emotionally charged subject, or maybe they wanted to concentrate on
the romance part of the story. Either way, there is much more depth in the
book.
Yes, I know, they’re just
characters in a book and actors in a movie …
Oh, the
tears I shed (all three times I read the book). But for heaven’s sake! It’s a
book. With characters. It’s a movie. With actors. And yet, that is probably one
of the things that hit home for me because there I was, getting emotionally
entangled in the story, but somewhere out there in this big world this is someone’s
life. Somewhere out there someone isn’t reading a story … but living it.
What would
you do …
In high
school I had an English teacher who expected us to spend the first ten minutes
of class journaling on a topic she had written on the board. One day the topic
was this: “Do you think you have the capacity to kill?” I was emphatic with my
answer: No. Killing is wrong. We are made in the image of God and to take
another life is a sin. Mankind should strive for all that is good, pure, and
holy. We are meant to protect our fellow brothers and sisters. I wrote
furiously for ten minutes.
But afterwards
our teacher offered some what if
scenarios: What if you were in a kill or be killed situation? What if you were
in a kill or have a loved one be killed situation? She wasn’t being
dramatic (although now that I think
about it she had set up a classic Hunger Games scenario); she was teaching us
that we live in a world in which the lines between right and wrong are
sometimes obscured by more than a little gray; that we can vehemently declare
to know what we will do in a certain situation, but do we know? Really? How could we unless we are in the reality? And if we can’t truly know, how can we possible judge?
Why I loved the book (and liked
the movie) …
I read the book long before I knew they were making a
movie. The book does not glorify in any way the right to die issue, nor does it
insinuate in any way that anyone with a physical disability is less of a
person; if anything, it shows the incredible pain and devastation left behind
with an individual's decision to end his/her own life. I thought the book did
an excellent job of giving us a peek (and just a peek because we can never
really know) of the incredible physical and emotional pain that some people
face, and while I still emphatically disagreed with Will's decision (I was so
ANGRY with him), for the first time I could come from a place not of
understanding or acceptance, but of empathy and compassion.
Think
about this: Will had the money for around-the-clock care. He could travel. He
had excellent caretakers. He even got the girl. So why did he still want to
die? How could he do that? We don’t know because he was in a place we can never be.
Over the past few weeks I’ve seen countless articles
condemning the movie as “dangerous” because of how it ends; that it portrays
assisted suicide in such a manner that it might be construed as morally
acceptable; that “Louisa et al” should have helped Will sort through and address
his problems and the fact they stood by and let it happen makes them murderers
(although I honestly don’t know what else “Louisa et al” could have done). That’s
why the book was so thought-provoking … there wasn’t a single character who
knew what to do. And why should they? How can anyone be prepared for something
like that?
In the end, Will's decision to die reverberated through
the lives of everyone he knew, and anyone can see how most of it resulted in a
lot of pain. So although the book didn't end the way I would've wanted it to
end, there is a lesson in Will’s choice. Not answers, but lessons.
