The Caveman Speaks at 5 P.M.

On days when I have to pick the boys up from school, I get Jonathan first and then look forward to a quiet ten minutes of conversation while we wait for Timothy to come out.


Yeah, conversation. Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.


Today it was no.


Now, I've written before about Caveman Speak (that teenage way of talking which involves grunting and one-word answers), but my goodness Jonathan takes Caveman Speak to an all new level. He has the nicest smile and the cutest dimples, but he doesn't divulge anything.


"Sometimes I just don't feel like talking," he says.


"Sometimes?" I ask. "You never talk."


"Well, sometimes I don't like to talk right after school gets out," he explains.


"Okay, I get that. Tomorrow when I pick you up I won't say a word," I promise. "I'll wave to you when you get in the car, and then I'll drive with one hand on the wheel and the other covering my mouth."


He laughs.


"By the way, what time tomorrow will you be ready to talk?" I ask. "I mean, is there a magic time?"


"Yeah, five o'clock," he replies.


I nod. Okay, then.


"Wait a minute!" I say a few minutes later. "Tomorrow you have to work. You'll be gone at five o' clock!"


He smiles his nice smile and flashes his cute dimples.


I've been hoodwinked.

Life Lately: A Mess in the House, A Mouse in the Attic

~1~ A Buen Camino for Me

Evidently I am meant to make a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. After I wrote this post and mentioned the The Way, my sister watched the movie during her lunch break and noticed this: my nickname on a rock. I don't know how she spotted it, but she subsequently sent me a photo of the still and there it is ... written in blue ... Bia.

~2~ The Storm before the Calm

Yes, I meant to write it that way. Starting next Monday, within a span of seven days, we are replacing the carpeting in three bedrooms, having hardwood floors installed in the master bedroom and hallway, replacing our porcelain kitchen sink with a Corian one, and installing a new shower door in the master bathroom.




But before carpeting and hardwood floors can be installed, stuff needs to be moved; to prepare to fuse a Corian undermount sink to our Corian counter top, the counter top will be removed and we will have neither a counter nor a sink for 24 hours; to get ready for a new shower door, the old one needs to be taken down and therefore no showers in the master bathroom for two days.




You can imagine the moving and shifting that is going on. Like I said, the storm before the calm.

~3~ Blogger Issues

Blogger has been giving me fits lately. Double spacing when I want to single space, not uploading photos, not saving properly, and when I write something in Microsoft Word and copy and paste it to blogger, it rearranges everything. Really, I am this close to making a switch. Suggestions?

~4~ He Shoots, He Scores!

The stomach bug has made an appearance, but things like this don't stress me out anymore mainly because it helps that everyone in the family is now old enough to aim their ... eh, hem ... projectile into the nearest toilet or garbage can. Remember those days? The ones in which it was hit or miss ... mainly miss?

~5~ The Christmas Mouse

Every December a mouse gets into our third floor attic. I purposely say mouse -- in the singular -- because to imagine the plural would absolutely freak me out. This time, though, despite the combined efforts of Joe and the nice guy at Advanced Services, that mouse (in the singular) is being uncooperative. And until this little problem is solved, I am not going up there.

~6~  Catching Flak

In a post this past Monday, I mentioned how I had spent 20 minutes wandering the aisles of Target  because I had some time to kill before an appointment. I also pointed out that, sometimes, killing time pays off because on that particular Monday I scored a pair of boots (fully lined! comfortable!) on clearance for (gasp!) ten dollars.

Well, that post elicited different responses: one person mentioned that when she has free time she goes to the Adoration Chapel (major guilt trip ensued); one person called me a typical girl just looking to spend some money (which made me feel defensive); and several of you wanted to know if Target had any more boots left.

My response to all of those: sometimes I do that, too; alas, I'm not perfect; and, sorry, I purchased the last pair.

~7~ Weekend Plans

See #2 above.

No go visit Jen at Conversion Diary where she talks about (of all things!) Benedictine Beer.

To My Son's Teacher: I Sincerely Apologize

This morning Timothy gets up, eats breakfast, and waits until we get to school to announce that his stomach hurts.


For a mom, this is one of those decisive-take-action-moments.


No it isn't. I don't have enough to go on. A stomach ache is too vague when there are no other underlying symptoms. So I resort to the tactic of let's-try-it-and-see-what-happens.


I drop him off at 8:50 a.m. and I get a call from the school nurse at 8:55 a.m. telling me Timothy's stomach hurts.


Okay then. Back I went. Later, on the drive home -- this time with Timothy -- he enlightens me on what happened in the 55 minutes since I last saw him.


"I threw up," he announces.


"You threw up?" I say. "The nurse didn't tell me you threw up."


"That's because I threw up after I left Mrs. Jackson's office." he explains. "I went back to the classroom to get my backpack, and then I ran to Mrs. Bosch's desk and told her I was going to throw up. And I did. Right next to her desk in her trash can."


Oh dear Lord, I think.


And here is where my apology comes in because in telling the story ... he sounds inordinately proud. Like it was a rite of passage. Like throwing up near the teacher's desk is cool. Like grossing out the entire class is funny.


So I bring him home, tuck him on the couch with water and saltines, and tell him the story of when I was in third grade and threw up in the principal's office.


 My son is way beyond impressed, and now I am the one inordinately proud. I mean, can you imagine? The principal's office.

Killing Time

This morning I had an 8:30 appointment at a local flooring store, but after I dropped the boys off at school I had a dilemma: there wasn't enough time to go all the way home, but it was too early to go to the appointment. So, what does a gal do to waste some time?


Yup. Target.


I ask you ... how many of us have wandered those aisles waiting for early dismissal, or killing time between different pick-up times, or trying to keep the little guy occupied while he-who-shall-not-be-named was serving detention for chewing gum?


There are more of us than you think.


My husband says wasting time costs money, but I don't know what he means because sometimes wandering around Target pays off.


Well. It doesn't exactly pay off ... I do the paying.


But still, I'm sure most of you understand what I'm saying. Why, just this morning if I hadn't gone into Target for the purpose of killing some time ... I wouldn't have found these super cute boots on clearance for $10.


See? You know what I'm talking about.

Back to the (Pepper) Grind

Well. After weeks of big meals, clever leftovers and invites here and there, we are ready to get back to our normal routine. We will not be easing into Monday, but meeting it fully head on, and after late nights and sleeping in I foresee a case of the grumpies by 5 p.m. tomorrow afternoon. Even our college student, who has an 8 a.m. class three days a week this semester, is in for a rude awakening ... literally. And just to mix things up, I am doing a three day detox. But more on that later.

Anyway. Meal planning. This week I didn't assign a meal for a specific night; rather, I made a list of seven meals and tomorrow I will shop for all the necessary ingredients. Then, depending on our schedules, each morning I will decided what we're having for dinner. No muss, no fuss.

1. Sloppy Joes w. carrot "fries"

2. Chinese Chicken and Rice (Eat Clean Cookbook p. 162)

3. Roasted Chicken Thighs with Mustard and Thyme Sauce (Best of Cooking Light Magazine, Apr. 2013)

4. Homemade Pizza; Root Beer Floats

5. Scaloppine di pollo; cooked greens (Jamie Oliver's cookbook, Jamie's Italy, p. 11); creamy polenta

6. Pasta with Lentil Bolognese (http://www.italianfoodforever.com/2014/01/pasta-with-lentil-bolognese/)

7. Minestrone (Nonna's recipe) w. homemade crusty bread

 

Christmas Secrets

This afternoon I dropped off our little guy at a friend's house for a sleepover, and as I was talking to the mom she asked me if I had lost weight. When I hesitated, she wanted to know how much and how I did it.

I quickly made a mental list:

1. I was one of 18 people who accomplished the monumental feat of eating 500+ tortellini in two days.
2. I ate tiramisu ... three times.
3. Santa brought the boys Kinder chocolate. I love Kinder chocolate, and all three boys were feeling the Christmas spirit and shared their loot with me.
4. And just this morning ... I had a cappuccino with 1% milk instead of skim.

So, how to answer her question? In the end, I simply smiled.

After all, who am I to ruin a good thing?

Christmas 2013*

‘Tis one day before Christmas, and all through our house,

We’re ready for Christmas, of that there is no doubt.

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care,

All that’s left are the homemade tortellini to prepare.

At Clemson University Nicholas is filling his head,

But likes to come home and be properly fed.

Classes with numbers, equations and math …

He’s following Joe’s footsteps down the engineering path.

A junior in high school Jonathan’s not shirking

And this past summer, he also started working.

Great student, hard worker, a high basketball scorer,

“Welcome to Arby’s can I take your order?”

Timothy is Timothy, and to our dismay …

The baby of the family, the things he does say!

 “I’ll go to confession exactly on Christmas Eve,

Which should cover me with Santa, I do believe.”

Joe has been traveling … 18 trips this year!

Airports and Marriotts welcome him with cheer.

But lest you think that it’s all about work,

On a golf course his energy he still exerts.

 

As usual Maria has been busy writing,

Published articles, stories – it’s been so exciting!

But sometimes she comes up with a questionable idea …

This poem, filed as “Very Bad Poetry by Bia”.

 

All kidding aside, we’re ever mindful of the reason,

We gather and celebrate during this Christmas season.

Remember to keep your many blessings in sight,

Merry Christmas to you, and to all a goodnight!

 

And yes, Virginia, it does occasionally snow in Georgia.
December 2008

*from the files of very bad poetry by Bia