Satin Folds and Rainbow Threads

Before Nonna married and started a family, she was a working girl, with a marketable skill, making her way in the world as a seamstress for an upscale dressmaker on Via Mazzini in downtown Verona.

-An Ocean, an Airplane, and Two Countries Full of Kisses (Ch. 8 Keeping House)

 

illustration, Chapter 8

An Ocean, an Airplane, and Two Countries Full of Kisses

There is magic in childhood.

On the top shelf of my closet is a non-descript storage bin which magically transforms into a time capsule. When I open the lid, just like Alice I disappear down a rabbit hole and land in the fantastical: a crystal cavern of golden memories and bejeweled mementos. The treasures from my childhood are all there. Journals of every shape and size, a red jewelry box from South Korea, scrapbooks pieced together with yellow tape, ragged paperback copies (Little Women, Where the Red Fern Grows), my postcard collection ... 

and one Barbie doll ballgown.

More than any other item, that Barbie dress transports me, not to one particular moment but to a series of moments of my Nonna sitting at her sewing table, the black machine whirring, her feet paddling, and the needle going up and down so fast that it is a blur. 

The sewing table was a never-ending surprise of delights for a little girl, the two tiny drawers filled with buttons, wooden darning eggs, pincushions, basting chalk. Then, as I watched breathlessly, Nonna would take something like a simple piece of pink satin, then some lace, and like a fairy godmother create an intricate ballgown complete with a pearled ribbon at the waist. 

It was a princess dress, a Cinderella dress, a Sleeping Beauty dress. Perfect for fueling imagination and inspiring adventure.

Speak to Me Sunday: God's Unfolding

Once upon a time, I had hoped that things would go one way, and they went another. It was a lesson on timing, and allowing God's plan to unfold His way. I look back on that 48 hours, and the three years since, and I marvel how it all worked out. Job, friends, fiancée ... life is good for our son. 

This past weekend my husband and I flew to Little Rock, AR with our eldest son who will be moving there in a month to begin work. We had 48 hours to explore the city, find an apartment, and get a feel for the area. We had 48 hours to stake our claim in a city in which we had never visited and where we did not know a single person. We had 48 hours to do as much as we could to lay the foundation for a new beginning for our son.

And within the span of that 48 hours we also planned to attend Mass Saturday night. There were many Catholic churches in Little Rock, so once Nicholas signed the lease for his apartment we Googled nearby churches and arbitrarily picked one to attend. 

Here's what I envisioned (hoped!) would happen: We'd walk into a church with lots of young people -- people my son's age! -- and he would feel welcomed and excited about joining a new parish. Maybe even someone would even come up and speak to him and tell him about a Bible study or a young adult group.

Instead, here's what happened: We walked into the church, and of the 40 people in attendance Joe and I were the youngest which, as you can imagine, was not a good sign for Nicholas.

It was definitely not how I would have planned things. Not. At. All.

But as I knelt in the quiet of the church before Mass started, I wrapped myself in the comforting traditions of our faith and unburdened my soul to God. 

I gave Him everything -- my hope, fears, doubts, and tears. I told Him how proud I was to have a son primed and ready to go forth into this world, but at the same time confessed how letting go is so contrary to a mother's heart. I gave Him my confidence in my son's intelligence and maturity, but also my fears of him being in a city of strangers.  I asked for patience with the arrogance of youth (of which we have all been guilty) who think they can go it alone and often forget that seeking advice, asking for help, or kneeling before God is not a sign of weakness, but of strength.

And then came the homily. The priest, who was originally from Vietnam, told the story of his last few months in seminary when he was consumed with worry on how he was going to buy a chalice for his ordination. He knew his family back in Vietnam could not afford it, and as a seminarian on scholarship with no funds of his own he didn't know what to do. He told no one of his dilemma. Then one day a priest teaching in the seminary informed him that an elderly priest from another parish had died and that his family wanted his chalice to go to a seminarian. Would he like to have the chalice?

Sitting in that nearly empty church in a strange city, listening to this story of a man who followed his vocation to live among strangers, I realized that there are times in our life when God has given us that chalice -- such as the moment He provides exactly what we need at the exact moment when we need it, or when He gives us something we didn't even realize we needed, or when we don't know how to ask for something and He gives it to us anyway.

I also realized that maybe, just maybe, God brought us to that church not for Nicholas (the way I wanted it to happen), but for me. 

Come to the Quiet

I'm a little weary of ... well, you name it. Covid. Politics. Life. 

I am craving a little peace, and sometimes the only peace that can be found is the peace you carve out for yourself. So taking a little inspiration from Katrina Kenison's Mitten Strings for God, I will cultivate, scoop, and create that space ...

When we cultivate a mood

of calm repose in our homes,

we are scooping out a space

of reflection and wonder,

for contemplation and reverie.

Our children are exposed to incessant commotion

in the world that exists beyond our walls.

Let home be the place

where they can find the peace and quiet

to make sense of it all.

Tuesday's Tip: Pasta with Fresh Pomodoro

It's dinnertime, nothing has been prepped, and people are hungry. But, dinner can be on the table in 15 minutes if you have a box of spaghetti, 3 large beefsteak tomatoes, fresh garlic and basil, and some high quality extra virgin olive oil.

This is a simple dish, reminiscent of la cucina povera (the peasant kitchen). But it is wholesome, fresh, delicious, and comes together in less than 15 minutes. 

Pasta with Fresh Pomodoro

1 lb. pasta (any shape, but I used spaghetti)

3-4 large beefsteak tomatoes

olive oil

2-3 garlic cloves, minced

3-4 fresh basil leaves

1/2 cup ricotta*

Parmigiano-Reggiano, freshly grated

Boil pasta and cook 2 minutes less than stated on package directions. Drain, reserving some of the pasta water.

Cut tomatoes in half, place a box grater over a large bowl, and grate the flesh of the tomatoes until you are left just with the skin. 

Heat oil, cook garlic until fragrant, add grated tomatoes, basil leaves, and 3/4 teaspoon of salt. Cook for about five minutes until liquid is reduced.

Remove basil, add pasta and ricotta. Stir until blended. Cook an additional 2 minutes to allow pasta to finish cooking (add reserved pasta water if it appears dry). 

Serve topped with freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano. 

*Note: Since I did not have ricotta on hand, I cut up small slivers of fontina cheese. But really, this can be made without the added cheese (it is still delicious) ... but do not skip the Parmigiano-Reggiano!

Grated tomatoes with leftover skins.

Alas, no photo of the pasta ... just the empty bowl. 

Done.

Twenty-two minutes from start to finish. Kudos to all the volunteers who are shining examples of civic responsibility by giving of their time and talent at the polls so that the rest of us can vote.

The Power of a Vote: Highly Personal and Intensely Precious

When I was in college and preparing for a summer study abroad in Spain, we were given two rules that were non-negotiable for American students studying in a foreign country: 1/ Do NOT discuss religion and 2/ Do NOT discuss politics. Yeah. Life used to be much simpler. 

Fast forward to today and ... sheesh.  

I am not a political person, and I certainly do not have all the answers, but I have done some soul-searching these past few months. With election day just around the corner, I am sharing some points to ponder which have helped me in deciding what to do ... 

1- Do not allow yourself to be spoon-fed

News is everywhere, but allowing it to come from a single source is not only limiting, but it encapsulates you in a world you create. The best way to know what you truly stand for, and to be able to defend it, is to understand what the other side is thinking and saying. This is the way to achieve civil discourse. Be an equal opportunity news-watcher and newspaper-reader. When my husband and I watch the nightly news, we are constantly switching back and forth between networks, making comparisons and noting what is or is not being featured. For example, Fox News recently televised the entire Supreme Court nomination hearing whereas CNN tuned in only when it was Kamala Harris’ turn to speak; one network returned to an old story on the Osama Bin Ladin raid while, at the same time, another network covered the Twitter censorship of the NY Post and various political pundits. What we find most annoying is when a network shows footage of a live event, or broadcasts a politician’s speech, and then proceeds to report on it in a manner totally incongruous to what we are witnessing in real time. 

In the end, beware of news that does not provide BOTH sides of the story. What is being said is important, but what is not being said also speaks volumes.

2- Cast a wide net

Just as it is important to explore multiple news sources, it is equally important not to limit your social circle ONLY to those who think like you. The world is full of people who think differently, and tolerance of others’ views takes practice. Much has been made about the friendship between Justices Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsburg who stood on opposite sides of the political arena but met on the common ground of friendship. They are a testament of how it is possible to get along despite having opposing views. Yes, even during an election year.

3- Beware of headlines

As a writer, I know that a strong opening sentence is meant to invite a reader to linger and ponder and delve further. BUT, a headline emblazoned across a newspaper reduces an entire story to a few attention-grabbing words, and not reading past the headline leads to a pitfall of misinformation and manipulation. Do not let yourself be misinformed; do not let yourself be manipulated.

4- There is more to it than a name on a ballot

For the purposes of an election, there must be a name on the ballot. But make no mistake, that name on the ballot is MORE than the individual. While it would be nice to like the candidate, and in a perfect world this would be the case, the fact is likability does not have to be a key factor in your decision. That name on the ballot represents a broader scope of policy, an agenda, a platform; it includes advisors, representatives, senators, and staff members. Take into consideration others whose names may NOT be on the ballot but who have a prominent voice. Are they strident? Extreme? Moderate? Accessible? Dismissive? Inspirational? Do they share your views, hopes, and core beliefs?

It should be comforting to remember that our government has a multi-tiered system of checks and balances. We are not voting for a dictator or king, but a president who leads but who is also kept in check by members of the House and Senate. In the history of our country there have been good presidents and bad ones, popular ones and not so popular ones, and yet America continues to shine. 

Democracy works. It is not perfect, but we must trust (and respect) the process even when the outcome is not the one we hoped for.

5- Be passionate, but not hateful

Hate and passion bubble forth from the same wellspring, but while they are both characteristic of heightened emotions, they are vastly different. During an election, passion is fueled by enthusiasm and zeal to support, promote, and champion a candidate; hatred is fueled by loathing and abhorrence, the support of a candidate solely bolstered by hatred for the opposing side. Sometimes that hatred leads to abandonment of all reason to the point of irrationality, and the ability to see any good (anything at all) in the opposing side is lost. Haters are gonna hate to the point it becomes pro forma. 

6- You Be You

The privilege of casting a vote is highly personal and intensely precious. No one can tell you how to vote. No one. But in deference to our forefathers, we need to recognize and respect the weight of even a single vote. Be informed. Research, question, and discuss. Turn to your faith and stand on your morals and principals even if it is against popular opinion. And yes, listen to the frenzy of news reports and tweets and political analysts … all of which are trying to tell you what to do.

Ultimately, YOU are the eye in the political hurricane. The decision is all yours to make. 

So, stand tall. Cast your ballot.

It is a powerful thing.

Six Points to Ponder in Answering the Question: How Shall I Vote?

When I was in college and preparing for a summer study abroad in Spain, we were given two rules that were non-negotiable for American students studying in a foreign country: 1/ Do NOT discuss religion and 2/ Do NOT discuss politics. Yeah. Life used to be much simpler. 

Fast forward to today and ... sheesh.  

I am not a political person, and I certainly do not have all the answers, but I have done some soul-searching these past few months. With election day just around the corner, I am sharing some points to ponder which have helped me in deciding what to do ... 

1- Do not allow yourself to be spoon-fed

News is everywhere, but allowing it to come from a single source is not only limiting, but it encapsulates you in a world you create. The best way to know what you truly stand for, and to be able to defend it, is to understand what the other side is thinking and saying. This is the way to achieve civil discourse. Be an equal opportunity news-watcher and newspaper-reader. When my husband and I watch the nightly news, we are constantly switching back and forth between networks, making comparisons and noting what is or is not being featured. For example, Fox News recently televised the entire Supreme Court nomination hearing whereas CNN tuned in only when it was Kamala Harris’ turn to speak; one network returned to an old story on the Osama Bin Ladin raid while, at the same time, another network covered the Twitter censorship of the NY Post and various political pundits. What we find most annoying is when a network shows footage of a live event, or broadcasts a politician’s speech, and then proceeds to report on it in a manner totally incongruous to what we are witnessing in real time. 

In the end, beware of news that does not provide BOTH sides of the story. What is being said is important, but what is not being said also speaks volumes.

2- Cast a wide net

Just as it is important to explore multiple news sources, it is equally important not to limit your social circle ONLY to those who think like you. The world is full of people who think differently, and tolerance of others’ views takes practice. Much has been made about the friendship between Justices Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsburg who stood on opposite sides of the political arena but met on the common ground of friendship. They are a testament of how it is possible to get along despite having opposing views. Yes, even during an election year.

3- Beware of headlines

As a writer, I know that a strong opening sentence is meant to invite a reader to linger and ponder and delve further. BUT, a headline emblazoned across a newspaper reduces an entire story to a few attention-grabbing words, and not reading past the headline leads to a pitfall of misinformation and manipulation. Do not let yourself be misinformed; do not let yourself be manipulated.

4- There is more to it than a name on a ballot

For the purposes of an election, there must be a name on the ballot. But make no mistake, that name on the ballot is MORE than the individual. While it would be nice to like the candidate, and in a perfect world this would be the case, the fact is likability does not have to be a key factor in your decision. That name on the ballot represents a broader scope of policy, an agenda, a platform; it includes advisors, representatives, senators, and staff members. Take into consideration others whose names may NOT be on the ballot but who have a prominent voice. Are they strident? Extreme? Moderate? Accessible? Dismissive? Inspirational? Do they share your views, hopes, and core beliefs?

It should be comforting to remember that our government has a multi-tiered system of checks and balances. We are not voting for a dictator or king, but a president who leads but who is also kept in check by members of the House and Senate. In the history of our country there have been good presidents and bad ones, popular ones and not so popular ones, and yet America continues to shine. 

Democracy works. It is not perfect, but we must trust (and respect) the process even when the outcome is not the one we hoped for.

5- Be passionate, but not hateful

Hate and passion bubble forth from the same wellspring, but while they are both characteristic of heightened emotions, they are vastly different. During an election, passion is fueled by enthusiasm and zeal to support, promote, and champion a candidate; hatred is fueled by loathing and abhorrence, the support of a candidate solely bolstered by hatred for the opposing side. Sometimes that hatred leads to abandonment of all reason to the point of irrationality, and the ability to see any good (anything at all) in the opposing side is lost. Haters are gonna hate to the point it becomes pro forma. 

6- You Be You

The privilege of casting a vote is highly personal and intensely precious. No one can tell you how to vote. No one. But in deference to our forefathers, we need to recognize and respect the weight of even a single vote. Be informed. Research, question, and discuss. Turn to your faith and stand on your morals and principals even if it is against popular opinion. And yes, listen to the frenzy of news reports and tweets and political analysts … all of which are trying to tell you what to do.

Ultimately, YOU are the eye in the political hurricane. The decision is all yours to make. 

So, stand tall. Cast your ballot.

It is a powerful thing.