A Veggie Tales Murder

This past Friday our local paper ran an article citing the South as having the highest obesity levels in the nation.

Living in Georgia, I have to say it's nothing to be proud of.

Oh, I know the incredible heat has something to do with obesity. When it gets near 100 degrees, everyone turns into a slug; really, just walking up the driveway to get the mail is an effort.

But do you want to know my theory as to why obesity is so bad? You do? Well then, here it is: obesity is so prevalent because southerners kill their vegetables.

Think about it: tomatoes are stewed; okra is fried; beans are boiled with bacon and fatback (what's fatback? I have absolutely no idea); carrots are glazed with brown sugar; and then collards, cabbage, and spinach are cooked so as to give new meaning to the term "wilted greens".

Basically, things that are naturally non-fattening are now laden with a gazillion calories.

Nobody does biscuits, iced-tea, peach cobbler, and BBQ like a true southerner, and the South's gentile manners are unsurpassed, but those veggies . . .

Anyway, that's just my theory. But what do I know?

Haiku, who?

It's Friday, and you know what that means! Haikus: good ones, bad ones, funny ones, and in our case, family vacation ones. Here are a few from my crew, then head over to Laura's, the Haiku Queen.

Going up, up, and then up

while on a roller coaster.

Please! I change my mind.

One for the bucket,

then two, three, and four for me.

Picking blueberries.

Nonno and his shirt,

Yikes! a tourist from Hawaii.

We do not know him.

Our baby brother:

Did he come in and destroy

Our huge Lego set?

Virginia is for Lovers . . .

and Busch Gardens ("Apollo's Chariot is a roller coaster so smooth it's like a magic carpet," explained my sister-in-law. What she neglected to mention: a magic carpet that plummets 200 feet at the speed of light . . . I literally couldn't even scream);

and blueberry picking ("They weigh you before you pick berries and after, that way they can tell how many berries you ate," explained Papa to some very gullible grandsons);

and a generous sister-in-law who twice kidnapped my sons to help them pick out a surprise for me (a capodimonte flower and a pearl from an oyster they personally selected);

and lunch at Panera on a rainy afternoon;

and the Virginia Sports Hall of Fame ("...it's a TOUCHDOWN folks! A touchdown!" yelled my husband into the microphone as he called out highlights of a famous game. People kept peering into the room to see who was rocking the place with his announcing);

and, best of all, Nana and Papa's house (paradise for our sons with its swimming pool, pool table, zip line spanning the width of the entire back yard, and the tallest tree house complete with a hammock and television).

Bia, the Ogre

My sister and her family came in town for the 4th, so along with my parents we all went to the lake for a picnic complete with bocce, golden oldies on the radio, Italian music on cd's, and boat rides from Nonno. Since the 4th was on a Friday, and since we are having a Haiku Summer, I passed out 3x5 index cards and had EVERYONE write a haiku.

Oh, everyone groaned.
And complained.
"A Hi-koo?!" some smart-aleck yelled.

But I can be very influential. I know how to be convincing.
Here, this haiku written by my favorite sister says it all:

Bia is the boss.

We do whatever she says,

Or else we don't eat.

You see, I can even be inspirational.

A Haiku Summer

Lately it seems that the haiku, a Japanese form of poetry, is experiencing an incredible resurgence. Soutenus recently wrote a post featuring Catholic haikus, and Laura is the ultimate Haiku Queen. Every Friday she hosts "Bad Haiku Friday", covering everything from the Frito Bandito to bunions; really, she should write a book . . . they're incredibly witty, insightful, fun, and clever.

And the truth be known, when I was in high school the haiku was my very favorite form of poetry.

So, to my family's wonder and surprise (and horror?), I instituted a haiku summer. Huh? It's really very easy. Remembering how successful the postcard idea worked, I thought the haiku would serve the same purpose of recording our summer in a short (i.e. painless), concise manner.

We even have a haiku area. On a big door frame in our kitchen, every Friday (yes, Laura, we took this inspiration from you) everyone writes a haiku on a 3x5 index card and tapes it to the door frame. Of course, a haiku can be added at any time during the week . . . but Friday is THE DAY.

Our family plan

A summer of bad haiku-

We are all poets.

Bad Haiku Friday

AND three dental appointments-

I'll go back to bed.

Was Jonathan scared

to ride the roller coaster

at the Six Flags Park?

Golf without Tiger

Like a film without a star;

Who's going to win now?

Summer's in full swing

We play golf every Monday;

Are we having fun?

Hopefully, by summer's end, we'll have a family journal of Summer 2008. Now, go write a haiku.

Dancing through Life

It's a beautiful, sunny Sunday. In celebration of today, I'm sharing this video that Rachel from Testosterhome posted a few days ago. Just spreading the joy . . .

ABC's and 123's

Go in ABC order, answer the questions, and then tag 3!

A is for age: 41

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." --Sophia Loren, Italian film actress

B is for burger of choice: grilled, at home; however, once a year I get a craving for one of these:

C is for what kind of car you drive: a minivan
C is also for your favorite past vehicle: I have never owned one, but believe it or not I have a "thang" for motorcycles; I have a couple of good motorcycle stories . . . maybe in a later post

D is for your dog's name: don't have a dog; had a goldfish named Eric once

E is for essential item you use everyday: my espresso machine

F is for favorite TV show at the moment: Lost

G is for favorite game: to watch, soccer and football; to play, Upwords, Pictionary

H is for Home State: Georgia . . . peach season is here!

I is for instruments you play: guitar

J is for favorite juice: like Soutenus, freshly squeezed grapefruit juice

K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: Hmmmmm

L is for last restaurant at which you ate: Panda Express at Six Flags

M is for your favorite Muppet: Kermit ("It's not easy being green")

N is for the number of piercings: two, one in each ear

O is for overnight hospital stays: 3, one for each pregnancy

P is for people you are with today: my sons, my husband

Q is for what you do with your quiet time: read, blog, write, hike

R is for biggest regret: not going into the medical field (not really a regret; more of a "what if?")

S is for status: married 17 years

T is for time you woke up today: 7 a.m. (we are all early risers)

U is for what you consider unique about yourself: I am half Italian, with a very British maiden name, that changed to a very Slovak married name. Oh, and I taught Spanish.

V is for vegetable you love: like Lisa, fresh tomatoes; I've always said that I could live on fresh tomatoes, crusty bread, a chunk of cheese, and some good, red wine

W is for worst habit: procrastination

X is for x-rays you've had: dental

Y is for yummy food you ate today: haven't eaten yet, but now that I've mentioned peaches I think I'll find the nearest peach stand

Z is for zodiac sign: Aquarius

I now tag mg, kathryn, and grandmak.