Thoughts on a Far Away Birthday

Two years ago I stood in the driveway and watched as my oldest son's possessions were loaded into a large moving van.

"Now, don't cry when we start carrying his things out of here," said the man from Atlas Van Lines. "The first one out of the house is hard."

Nicholas had just graduated with an engineering degree from Clemson University and was headed to Little Rock, Arkansas for a new job. The last few weeks in which we celebrated his graduation, packed endless boxes (mainly with books--everything from Dostoyevsky to Naruto), flew out to Arkansas to search for an apartment, gathered supplies, and refinished donated furniture had brought us to this very moment.

A moment in which we watched our son go.

Despite the chaos that lead us to this point, nothing prepares you for this, and yet when the time came I felt peace settle in my heart because it was time.

It. Was. Time.

Today is Nicholas' birthday (he's 25!) and he is still in Little Rock. He has a wonderful job that enables him to do some traveling, he likes his coworkers, he has the nicest girlfriend and a great group of friends, his apartment is comfortable, and he's learned to cook. He texts us during the week and calls home faithfully every Sunday evening.

We couldn't be prouder of him.

I know some may see the finality of a child moving out as an ending, but I chose to see it as a transition. There was a shift in our family dynamics, and certainly a period of adjustment, but it was also a springboard to new beginnings, traditions, and adventures.

And while I'd love to have him here, in this very moment, to be able to give him a birthday hug, or fix his favorite meal, or take him to Barnes & Noble so we can stock up on books, I am happy knowing that he's happy and that his birthday weekend is filled with exciting activities.

All the same though, I think I'll take the advice of the man from Atlas Van Lines and have a box of tissues nearby.

What ...

What I'm reading

The Silent Patient (on audible), The Island of Dr. Moreau (book club), Greensleeves (for fun)

What I'm wearing

yoga clothes (day 2 of yoga burn) + canal walk

What I had for breakfast

coffee, because intermittent fasting (the best health decision I made in 2019)

What I'm doing today

living these words ...

Let's Make it a Good One

I woke up this morning with a million good intentions running through my mind. Then I took this photo. The Halloween mug, the Alpine trees, and the 2020 calendar provide a stark contrast to those well-meaning intentions and more accurately depicts my entry into the New Year ... a little of this, a little of that, one foot here, and one foot there.

But it's all good! A journey begins with a single step. No one said it had to be a leap. 

I do have some new things going on. This morning my sister and I are starting a 12-week yoga burn challenge, and I my mat and resistance bands are ready and waiting (I'll get to them as soon as I finish my cappuccino in the Halloween mug). 

This evening I begin training to become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate). And between the yoga and CASA training I have a lot of things to get done (I'm eyeing those Alpine trees). 

Finally, as we venture into the New Year, some with giant leaps and bounds while others (eh hem) a little more quietly, I leave you with this: Saturday night after Mass I stopped to speak to a woman who usually sits in front of us. When I wished her a Happy New Year she replied, "Happy New Year. Let's make it a good one."

Amen.  There's a LOT we can do to make it a good one. 

Happy New Year! Let's make it a good one!

Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 12, Putting Away Christmas (with a little help from Dr. Suess)

We are packing away the ribbons and tags; storing packages, boxes, and bags.

In other words, we are putting away Christmas.

Jonathan and Timothy take down the ornaments from the tree and place them on the kitchen table so I can put them in the storage boxes. Back and forth they carry ornaments, from tree to table. We have a lot of ornaments on the tree.

Then, Timothy accidentally breaks one, glass shards scattering across the floor. But that's okay. EVERY year someone breaks an ornament, so it's almost a tradition.

Joe pulls off the lights, and coils them carefully because we replaced ALL the lights this year and so they should be good for another year or two. Maybe. If we're lucky.

As I watch all the vestiges of Christmas disappear, it dawns on me how we are basically undoing everything we did a month ago. The tree that went up, is now coming down. The nativity sets, garland, and stockings that were on display, are not hidden away.

All that fuss, and just like that it's over.

But then I reach for a Christmas signboard propped in a corner. Painted on its surface are the Three Wise Men with the words, "REJOICE in the gifts of the season."

Rejoice. In the gifts.

The gifts of the Magi, the angels' Alleluia, the shepherds' witness, and the Christ child in a manger. The gifts of faith, peace, goodwill, forgiveness, and salvation for all mankind until the end of time.

These Christmas gifts don't go away to reappear one time a year.

So yes, we clear away the trimmings of Christmas--the things that made the season sparkly, cozy, and exciting! We store away the ribbons and tags, packages, boxes, and bows.

But we're not putting away Christmas.

Not at all.

It's here just the same.

Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 11, What to Give Adult Sons For Christmas

I can look at a string of Christmas pasts and see a definite pattern in gifts as our sons grew older:

toddler: matchbox cars, Thomas trains, Duplo

primary school: Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Lego

elementary school: Lego, board games, scooters

middle school: Lego, strategy board games, Wii games, sports equipment

high school: phone, high end sneakers, gift cards, video games

college: money, college game gear, electronics

But now that our two eldest are adults--one living on his own in Little Rock and one who has a job already lined up in Atlanta after he finishes grad school this spring--the gift ideas have changed. Of course, they still like Lego and electronics, strategy board games are always a hit, and they will take a gift card any day, but they also have needs--for their apartment (kitchen appliances, furniture) their car (air compressor for tires, a car emergency kit, jumper cables), or their new job (business suits, dress shoes). 

But while all those things are practical, I still like to think of one special gift to add. 

This year, it was a Fontanini nativity set (a stable and the Holy Family) for Nicholas. I also gave him, carefully packaged in a beautifully decorated box,  all his childhood tree ornaments from Nonna and Nonnno--brass ornaments engraved with his name and the year. One ornament for every year until he turned 18 years of age. (Next Christmas, when Jonathan has his own apartment, he will get the same.)

When Nicholas drove home Christmas day due to work, the first thing he did when he arrived back to his apartment in Little Rock was to set up his nativity and hang the ornaments on his tree. 

And hopefully these things will always be a little reminder of family and faith.

A little reminder of home.

Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 10, Where in the World is Santa?

In case you're wondering what Santa is doing after a busy Christmas season, word has it he's relaxing somewhere in Italy ...

(photo from locorotondo on instagram)

Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 9, The Book Swap

This year I knew exactly what to get Joe for his December birthday: a copy of Stan Byrdy's new book, Against All Odds: The Donnie Hixon Story, which tells the amazing story of Augustan Donnie Hixon who overcame personal adversity and ultimately served as Burt Reynold's stunt double in the movie, The Longest Yard. 

For those who don't know, Stan Byrdy is an Augusta writer, speaker, sports historian, and award winning journalist. He has written two other books: Alister MacKenzie's Masterpiece: The Augusta National Golf Club, and Augusta and Aiken in Golf's Golden Age. 

He also happens to be our neighbor and a member of our church. 

When I contacted Stan and asked if he would sign a book for Joe, he suggested we meet and do an author book swap. One of his books for one of mine. So a few days later, during a torrential thunderstorm, Stan came to our house. We talked about the writing process, shared publishing stories, discussed marketing ideas, and then we swapped books. 

Now, shortly before our book swap my friend Thalia, who was flying out of the Augusta Regional Airport, sent me a photo of my book An Ocean, an Airplane, and Two Countries Full of Kisses which she spotted in the Landings Gift Shop. She didn't know I was meeting with Stan, and yet her photo showed my book AND Stan's book, The Augusta National Golf Club, sharing a book stand at the airport gift shop. 

How's that for a little Christmas serendipity?

Stan's book, Against All Odds: The Donnie Hixon Story is available on Amazon and at the Sacred Hearts Cultural Center gift shop. 

As it happens, my book is available in both places, too, as well as Dr. David Tribby's volume of poetry, Gifts in Time. 

I guess the moral of the story is to support local authors (insert smiley face emoji).