Sunday, February 14, 2021

That's Amore

This morning in the cold, pouring rain, Joe took our car to Costco to fill it with gas for the week. Then, he drove to Publix where Timothy was working, exchanged cars, and drove back to Costco to fill up THAT car for the week. 

He didn't do this because it was Valentine's Day. He did it because his love language is quiet practicality and thoughtful gestures that can easily go unnoticed because he neither announces what he's doing nor calls attention to what he did. 

This morning there were also flowers and a card, and as I'm typing this he has gone to pick up dinner (what, I don't know), but it is those ordinary, practical gestures carried out in every day life that have a language of their own. 

That's amore. 


Friday, February 12, 2021

Friday Favorites (vol. 15): Dancing with Olga and The Boy on the Bus

It's been a hot minute since I've done a Friday Favorites, so here goes ...

1- Old Diaries

During a group chat a few nights ago my mother send some photos from pages of an old diary, specifically an entry by my brother reflecting on our wedding day. 

"After we ate we did a bunch of dancing. We danced the Duck Dance, Shout, the Twist, and I danced a waltz with Olga. The way that happend was that I was sitting pecefully when she bounced over to my seat and grabbed my arm and dragged me to the dance floor."

To understand why we loved this memory, here is Olga ...



2- Imperfect Pink Rose

it is said
a rose
by any other name
smells as sweet
but any other rose
by any other name
is not my rose
so I will give it one
to mark it
as one among many
that smells as sweet
but is mine.

*from the files of very bad poetry by bia 



3- Free Makeup

Over the years I have slowly been transitioning to clean makeup, but there are a few items I will continue to purchase until I can find a clean substitute. One item is from Lancome, and when I recently ordered a refill a wonderful merging of a free gift promo + special coupon + birthday freebies yielded this box full of goodies ... including a cute makeup pouch. Oooh la la.


4- Chapter Two: The New Girl

In my book (An Ocean, an Airplane, and Two Countries Full of Kisses) there is a chapter entitled The New Girl which, in many ways, is a Valentine's Day story. That chapter about the struggles of fitting in has resonated with many, and I cannot tell you how many people have asked me what happened to the Boy on the Bus. 


5- Twelve Miles to Go

Stay tuned ...


Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Afternoons in Japan: My Monthly Bokksu

Two years ago our son, Nicholas, flew to Japan for two weeks with some friends. It was a wonderful trip with extended stays in Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, and Yokohama where they ate new foods, saw amazing sights, and experienced a different culture.  

When Nicholas flew back home, a wonderful merging of schedules resulted in Nicholas and Jonathan being in Atlanta at the same time, so my husband and I (along with their baby brother) picked up our international traveler from the airport, checked into the Renaissance Concourse Airport Hotel, and the five of us stayed up late into the night hearing about Nicholas' adventures before he had to drive back to Arkansas the next morning. And as he talked, he passed out gifts--architecture books, Japanese Pokemon cards, anime and manga collectibles, and a Japanese cooking knife with NOVAJOSKY engraved in Japanese characters on the blade. 

Nicholas learned a great deal about Japan on that trip, and we learned a great deal through him.

And we continue to learn.

This past Christmas, Nicholas gifted me a Bokksu subscription, a monthly delivery of Japanese snacks, candies, and teas sourced directly from centuries-old small family businesses. The bright orange box that arrives on my doorstep is filled with never-ending delights, and my afternoon cappuccino time now has a Japanese flair. 

The theme for my first Bokksu box was Seasons of Japan, and a little booklet explained the various snacks and the regions from which they came. Nicholas suggested I first try the Hokkaido Red Bean Doughnuts which were absolutely delicious! Every day I tried something new--Matcha Chocolate Stick Cake (bittersweet chocolate cake), Stick Potato: Suppa Mucho Plum (crispy potato sticks with floral notes of plums), Edamame Senbei (edamame baked into a cracker), Black Sesame Taiko: Kumamon Design (pressed discs of almonds and sesame seeds), and Puku Puku Tai: Chocolate (giant red snapper shaped wafer filled with a chocolate mousse). 

Then, just when I finished all the snacks, the next month's box arrived. 

The theme for this month's Bokksu is Sweet Love and I immediately learned something new: In Japan, the women give gifts on Valentine's day and the favor is returned one month later on White Day. See? I love learning cultural facts like this! The first treat I tried was the Okayama White Peach Castella, a fluffy cake baked with Okayama's famous white peaches. So, so good and it paired most excellently with my cappuccino. 

Tomorrow ... I have my eye on the Genji Pie.


Some photos from Nicholas' trip to Japan two years ago.

Friday, January 15, 2021

Hero Worship and Silent Heroes

We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.

~Brad Meltzer, author of Heroes for My Son

Perhaps it’s because I am all too aware of my own imperfections that I am very cautious about putting someone on a pedestal. To be sure, there are people I admire and respect, but there's a difference between admiring someone and thinking they hang the moon.
I am bothered by the fact that many times people are held in high esteem for no other reason other than they can throw a football, or look pretty on television, or lose weight, or make multi-million dollar deals. And I am bothered at how willing some of us are to look up to someone who is, when it comes down to it, very human.
When you cross the line into hero worship, you are basically setting yourself up to be less than that person . . . which is almost like saying God (who made us in his image) somehow made a mistake in how he made you.
I once accompanied a group of local doctors to Haiti for a 10-day mission trip. Part of that experience included a lot of rough travel, the most grueling of which was a 14-hour truck ride through mountains, desert and jungle until we reached the small village of Jean-Rabel.
During that long, long trip I was surrounded by doctors and missionaries who spent that time talking. One discussion involved the misdirection of youth, and a young missionary made a comment that the distractions offered by today's society were nothing more than a substitute for the Holy Spirit.
Oh, brother! I remember thinking.
But over time I’ve come to realize what she was trying to say. There’s nothing wrong with getting excited during a rock concert, or cheering a star athlete, or looking up to someone, or recognizing them as a leader.
The problem occurs when we lose sight of the First Commandment and lay those feelings of enthusiasm, admiration and even hope at the feet of someone who is merely human.
The problem occurs when we measure our own self-worth by human rather than spiritual standards.
The problem occurs when we don't see the value in  those around us (teammates, co-workers, family members) because we are so blinded by the star quality of one individual.
I am grateful that the world is full of many wonderful people -- people I admire and respect and who inspire me to be a better person. But putting them on a pedestal?

I know of only One who can hang the moon.



In response to this post, my zia Tiziana left this comment about the silent hero (like my Nonna). After almost 14 years of blogging this comment is one of my favorite.

"How true are your words. We all have heroes, and sometimes it is difficult to believe that they are only poor humans like us, with faults and weaknesses. For our Nonna, however, the true heroes were people like her parents who, even though they weren’t rich, worked hard – without running water, heat, electricity, refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher, iron, television, etc. – and yet they were able to raise their four daughters in serenity, happiness and faith. Nonna always remembered her childhood as the happiest time of her life. She would always say, 'Yes, we were poor, but how much fun we had running in the fields, talking and singing in the barn (the warmest place to gather), and we appreciated the simplest things.' Maybe the true heroes are those who silently help others and perhaps they are the only ones who can truly help God 'hang the moon'”.
~Tizi

Thursday, January 14, 2021

An Early Morning

This morning I woke up early. One minute I was asleep, and the next I wasn't. 

I was excited, looking forward to something, but what? The day ahead would be like yesterday, and the day before that, full of the ordinary and mundane. 

Walking downstairs, I quietly made a cappuccino and went outside to stand on the front porch. 

The streetlight cast a light so gentle it was like a whisper, creating shadows that danced softly in the breeze. 

I breathed in the crisp, cool morning air and gazed at the blue-black sky, stars sprinkled haphazardly as if someone had grabbed a bucketful and threw them heavenward. 

Stillness blanketed the morning until a bird, perched in a crepe myrtle, trilled a song heralding a tiny hint of pink above the horizon. 

And I had a moment, the kind that isn't planned, or thought out, or cluttered with the craziness of life. The kind of moment that is a gift so pure it simply requires you to reach out and take hold of it. 

The kind of moment which is nothing, but everything. 


Wednesday, January 13, 2021

In Which My Son Quotes Poetry

"How was Book Club?" my son asked, as I carried in chairs and blankets from the around the fire pit where we had discussed Jodi Picoult's latest book, The Book of Two Ways.

"It was great," I replied. "We discussed choices, and how some choices are black and white--that is, it is very clear what you should do--while other choices are not clear but you have to decide anyway. The book was about those kind of choices and what happens after you made the decision when, years later, you wonder what would have happened if you had chosen differently."

It was a simple answer for a very intricate and complex book. But it got Timothy thinking.

"That reminds me of the poem by Robert Frost," he said. "You know, the one called 'The Road Not Taken.'"

After our poetry discussion earlier this week in which he declared all poets dumb (his words) for not saying what they mean to say, I was pretty impressed. 

"Look at you," I said. 

And he grinned. 


Sunday, January 10, 2021

I Love You with a Book

Every December our wedding anniversary, Joe's birthday, and Christmas occur all within a 10-day period. It is such a busy time that we usually postpone our anniversary celebration until things are a little quieter. But last month we were celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary, so Joe planned a weekend getaway and I thought long and hard on a gift I could give Joe to commemorate this special occasion. 

And I found it with LoveBook Online, a website that allows you to write, create, and illustrate your love story to make a special, one-of-a-kind gift. 

The website was incredibly user-friendly. After creating an account, you select a cover (hard or soft), come up with a title (decide on the color and font size), make characters that look like you (the possibilities are endless), and then create, write, and personalize pages using both the templates provided and pages you can fully customize yourself. The book can be as short or as long as you want. After  you edit and submit your creation, the book is printed, professionally bound and laminated, and then mailed back to you. 

When our book arrived I was so impressed with the quality! The pages were thick, the illustrations were exactly as I created, the colors were bright, and the overall quality was excellent. 

So last month, in the midst of a birthday and Christmas and a pandemic, we celebrated our anniversary with a weekend getaway to Asheville, NC where we spent a magical two days exploring the Biltmore House and grounds. 

And I gave Joe a copy of The Story of Us

Which he really, really loved.

Here are just a few pages from our book ...