I was leaving a costume party, and for some reason I was sporting a bushy black mustache.
On the way home, I had to stop at the DMV to update my driver's license photo. The problem was that every time they tried to take my photo, I smiled because the mustache made me look ridiculous. And the DMV workers did not want me to smile.
But every time they told me not to smile, I started giggling. Because I looked ridiculous.
So then, in walks my sister. (Sorry, Laura. I do not control these things. You were wearing a green, off-the-shoulder peasant blouse and large hoop earrings. You looked pretty, and in my dream I told you so.)
Anyway, my immensely helpful sister said the problem was that the mustache was too bushy and I should just scrunch it together.
So, I scrunched it together.
But then I looked like Hitler and EVERYONE in the DMV waiting area was laughing.
I mean, the place was out of control with laughter.
Finally I just ripped off the mustache (Yowza! that hurt!), took the photo (no smiling), and then we all went on our merry way.
THE END
P. S. Neither alcohol nor wacky tobacky was involved prior to bedtime. I feel the need to stress this. I just have weird dreams.
The other night we were watching the evening news with our seventeen-year-old son. Our home, which has always been a haven of safety and comfort, was bombarded with flickering images that were affecting our mood--the violence, rioting, protestors chanting, news anchors arguing, looters breaking store windows and setting fires. The tension, both from the screen and from those of us watching was palpable. And I thought ... no more. Every night our son is being told by politicians, news anchors, rioters, and so-called "leaders" that our country, our entire nation, is on the verge of collapse. NO. MORE. I turned off the television and talked about perspective and narrative. We discussed the issues as a family and decided we will not let the narrative be dictated by those whose only agenda is to drive ratings and score political footholds. Tonight ... we will watch The Chosen.
Our conversation on perspective ...
According to the latest statistics (2019), there are 328 million people living in the United States.
According to the latest statistics (2018), there are 19,495 incorporated cities, towns, and villages in the United States.
According to the latest statistics (2019), there are 697,195 law enforcement officers employed in the United States.
Despite news headlines claiming that the United States is in a crisis and that political, social, and economic division is ripping the country apart,
or the claims that systemic racism is rampant in all levels of our society,
or the headlines that paint every single law enforcement officer as racist,
or the images that suggest every city is plagued by riots and civil unrest and looting--
despite all these things, chances are you listen to news anchors and watch the news clips and think, "That's not my experience. That's not my country or my city. That is not me."
Because most of the 328 million people living in the United States are citizens who work side by side, play together at recess, socialize at parties, and worship at churches, synagogues, temples, or mosques. And they do all this despite differences in economic, social, political, racial, or religious differences.
Because most of the 19,495 incorporated cities, towns, and villages in the United States are NOT Portland, Minneapolis, Seattle, Los Angeles, or New York City.
Because most of the 697,195 law enforcement officers serving in these cities, towns, and villages do not have a hidden agenda other than to protect and serve.
So, while news outlets like to apply complex issues to the whole of America, these issues may not necessarily define your city, your police force, your neighbors.
Or you.
This does not mean that problems should not be acknowledged and that we should not step forward to be part of a collective change. As citizens, we carry the responsibility to promote the ideals of our country.
But the United States covers 3.8 million square miles, the land as varied, complex, colorful, and complicated as its people.
When you limit your sight to the lens of a telescope, it is easy to lose sight of the whole.
The other night we were watching the evening news with our seventeen-year-old son. Our home, which has always been a haven of safety and comfort, was bombarded with flickering images that were affecting our mood--the violence, rioting, protestors chanting, news anchors arguing, looters breaking store windows and setting fires. The tension, both from the screen and from those of us watching was palpable. And I thought ... no more. Every night our son is being told by politicians, news anchors, rioters, and so-called "leaders" that our country, our entire nation, is on the verge of collapse. NO. MORE. I turned off the television and talked about perspective and narrative. We discussed the issues as a family and decided we will not let the narrative be dictated by those whose only agenda is to drive ratings and score political footholds. Tonight ... we will watch The Chosen.
So, let us put things in perspective--
According to the latest statistics (2019), there are 328 million people living in the United States.
According to the latest statistics (2018), there are 19,495 incorporated cities, towns, and villages in the United States.
According to the latest statistics (2019), there are 697,195 law enforcement officers employed in the United States.
Despite news headlines claiming that the United States is in a crisis and that political, social, and economic division is ripping the country apart,
or the claims that systemic racism is rampant in all levels of our society,
or the headlines that paint every single law enforcement officer as racist,
or the images that suggest every city is plagued by riots and civil unrest and looting--
despite all these things, chances are you listen to news anchors and watch the news clips and think, "That's not my experience. That's not my country or my city. That is not me."
Because most of the 328 million people living in the United States are citizens who work side by side, play together at recess, socialize at parties, and worship at churches, synagogues, temples, or mosques. And they do all this despite differences in economic, social, political, racial, or religious differences.
Because most of the 19,495 incorporated cities, towns, and villages in the United States are NOT Portland, Minneapolis, Seattle, Los Angeles, or New York City.
Because most of the 697,195 law enforcement officers serving in these cities, towns, and villages do not have a hidden agenda other than to protect and serve.
So, while news outlets like to apply complex issues to the whole of America, these issues may not necessarily define your city, your police force, your neighbors.
Or you.
This does not mean that problems should not be acknowledged and that we should not step forward to be part of a collective change. As citizens, we carry the responsibility to promote the ideals of our country.
But the United States covers 3.8 million square miles, the land as varied, complex, colorful, and complicated as its people.
When you limit your sight to the lens of a telescope, it is easy to lose sight of the whole.
Today is the Feast Day of St. Joseph. Not only do we have a day to honor this saint, but Pope Francis has proclaimed this as the "Year of St. Joseph."
This feast day is not only celebrated in southern Italy (specifically Sicily where he is the island's patron saint), but also in many churches, parish halls, and Italian-American clubs across the United States. Sometimes our family celebrates quietly, sometimes we go all out. Our last big celebration (in 2019, one year before the pandemic) included family, friends, neighbors, and our parish priests ... there were almost 40 people sitting around the table in our backyard. Click on the links at the end of the post to see past celebrations.
I have always had a special place in my heart for St. Joseph, and here is why ...
1- One of my earliest memories was kneeling next to my Nonna in church. She was praying for the intercession of Mary, but I looked at the statue of Joseph. Not wanting him to feel left out I prayed to him. I continued to do this through the years, especially after our three sons were born.
2- Years later when I was writing my book, I found a letter from my Nonna saying how happy she was that I had been baptized on the Feast Day of St. Joseph. I never knew this, but it explained many things.
3- Not only was I baptized on this feast day, but in that same letter I also discovered that my father had been baptized on this feast day when he entered the church shortly before marrying my mother.
4- In 2010 a woman in my Bible study encouraged each of us to pull a saint's name out of a basket and allow that saint to work in our life for one year. The underlying concept was this: although you physically drew the saint's name, the saint actually chose you. There were fifty of us there that day who took turn drawing a saint ... and St. Joseph chose me.
5- I married a Joseph. St. Joseph's Feast day is also Father's Day in Italy, so Happy Father's Day to my Joseph!
6- My article, I Never Knew, was published in Shalom Tidings (a Catholic magazine). It was about my affinity to St. Joseph and his role in our lives.
7- I dedicated an entire chapter to St. Joseph in my book, An Ocean, an Airplaine, and Two Countries Full of Kisses.
How will we celebrate this year? Our last big celebration was in 2019, then the pandemic hit and the next two feast days were celebrated quietly. But I have plans for 2022!
For more information on St. Joseph and how we celebrate this feast day, visit any of the links below ...
I started the journey last summer as schools, airports, and
borders closed, when people hid in their homes and behind masks and life as we
knew it was cancelled or postponed. Feeling a little adrift and wanting to fill
my days with meaning, I signed up for this virtual experience. For 480 miles I traveled as a pilgrim without leaving home, and it helped
me physically, mentally, and spiritually.
What is the Conqueror Challenge? How does it work? How did I
keep track of miles? I answer all these questions and more, including my
dramatic finish at Holy Trinity.
What is el Camino de Santiago?
The Way of St. James (el Camino de Santiago) has been
a popular pilgrimage route since the 9th century. Travelers usually start
in St. Jean Pied de Port, France and continue for 480 miles all the way to the Cathedral
of Santiago de Compostela in Spain where, according to tradition, the apostle
St. James is buried. (For more, go to my post Buen Camino: Finding the Way.)
The scalloped shell is the traditional symbol of the route. The shell's
grooves, which meet at a single point, represent the various routes
the pilgrims traveled to arrive to Santiago de Compostela.
The Virtual Challenge
The Camino de Santiago Virtual Challenge enables you to travel
the Way of St. James virtually. After registering online, I established
a timeframe to complete the challenge. Then, whenever I finished a
distance-based exercise, I logged the miles and watched my personal icon advance
on a virtual map pinpointing exactly where I was on the Camino route.
I could access the map either on my phone or laptop; I used my phone to log the
miles and my laptop to click on my icon (or avatar) and explore my virtual
surroundings using the Street View feature. I could also “see” other pilgrims on
the journey. The cost for signing up was $34.95 which includes tracking, use of
the virtual map, virtual postcards, and a gorgeous medal that is mailed upon completion.
Another price tier includes merchandise, but I stuck with the basic level.
(Note: there are a variety of virtual challenges you can select, including 1,968 miles on the Appalachian Trail, 46 miles up Mount Fuji, or 323 miles along the St. Francis Way which takes you from Florence to Vatican City). Go here to see all the challenges.
Just a few miles to go.
The Postcards
During the journey, I received 13 virtual postcards
describing a city or town I had just passed through. This really gave a sense
of traveling and, along the way, I learned some interesting historical facts.
Additionally, at various milestones the Conqueror Challenge donates toward the
planting of a tree. At the end of my Camino journey, I had planted five trees
that were added to the 450,000 trees the Conqueror Challenge has planted since
August 2020.
My personal Rules
When I signed up for the program, I established some
personal rules: every mile I logged had to be done outside and every activity
had to be designated as a “Camino” activity; in other words, running on a
treadmill or counting my steps at the end of the day did not count as a Camino
activity, but any mile I covered while biking or hiking did. This was something I decided to do to mimic
the journey of the actual elCamino route.
Walking on the trails at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina.
Hiking along the Augusta Canal
Hiking to the top of Grandfather Mountain, North Carolina.
The Final (Dramatic) Leg
The final destination on the Camino
route is the beautiful Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela, and I wanted a
similar experience as I approached the end of my journey. So, I planned to bike
the remaining miles from my house all the way to Holy Trinity Catholic Church
downtown, a distance of just over 20 miles. I asked Joe to join me, and early
last Saturday we set off. It was a cold morning, very sunny, and we made good
time. Then, as we approached the Riverwalk (from the 5th street bridge)
and just a few miles from our destination, we heard a loud hissing noise and discovered
that Joe’s back tire had suffered a large puncture. What to do? Walk back home?
Call Timothy at Publix to come pick us up? In the end, we called my father to
come get Joe while I continued with my journey. I had started this Challenge
alone and apparently I was meant to finish it alone.
And so I did.
I cycled along the top of the Riverwalk, down the ramp by
St. Paul’s Church, and then up and over several blocks to Holy Trinity. The moment I pulled up to the front steps, the
church bells started ringing. I kid you not. It was extremely dramatic. After a
journey of almost 500 miles, I felt as if I were in Spain arriving at the
actual cathedral. I felt triumphant, emotional, humbled.
Was it a Spiritual Experience?
People walk el Camino de Santiago for a variety of reasons: for
adventure, to lose weight, to look for the meaning of life, to find peace, to encounter
God. I always saw my participation more as a pilgrimage, so every time I set
out I did so with an awareness of God, and I let that awareness take me where
it would. Sometimes I was led to prayer, but mostly I was led to an openness
about what I would find along the way—silence, conversation with a stranger, appreciation
of nature, introspection. I also had an amazing encounter while on a hike in
North Carolina with a man who emerged from the fog and gave us a book entitled,
Finding Your Place in the Father’s Heart, before the fog swallowed him
up again. This really happened and you can read about it here: The Man in the Fog.
What did I Learn?
Big goals are achieved by a series of smaller goals. My
first entry for the Challenge was 3.2 miles. At the time I remember thinking (a
tad sarcastically), “At this rate it will take me forever to cover 480 miles.” But
progression is movement, and movement (however tiny) is still taking you
somewhere.
Flexibility is part of the journey. It is easy to become
enslaved to a timeframe. Originally, I had planned a to finish the challenge on
New Year’s Eve, but with everyone home for one week at Thanksgiving and two
weeks in December I did not have large blocks of time to cover long distances.
As a result, I got behind and had to move my timeline out. When my husband’s tire puncture ruined my
plans for a triumphant final leg, we adapted. Sometimes we need grace and
openness to be able to say not my way but yours and accept redirection
to a new pathway, goal, or even an adjusted timeline.
Stop to smell the roses. It is good to be focused,
but do not let it give you tunnel vision. While a goal hovers in the distance
brightly shining and calling your name, it can also distract you from living
life in the present moment. Enjoy the process along the way—a wildflower field,
the snakeskin hanging from a tree branch, the couple taking wedding photos along
the canal, a conversation with a stranger—even if it makes the journey a little
longer.
Balance. The Physical, spiritual, and mental make up
the whole. Nurture all three.
A Final Thought
A beautiful part of walking el Camino de Santiago is this: as
people pass each other long the route they wish each other a buen camino.
Translated literally, buen camino means “a good walk, or path.” Within the
context of a pilgrimage the phrase takes on deeper meaning. To wish someone a buen
camino is to wish them well in finding meaning and purpose on their journey,
whatever that may be.
And since on some level we are all on a journey, that is
what I wish for you … a buen camino.
We all know the story of the Prodigal Son. Traditionally, the father in the parable represents our heavenly father, the older son represents the Pharisees who live the letter of the law but not the love of the law, the wayward son represents all sinners.
However, the beauty of a parable is that it can have many layers -layers that speak to us at different times in our lives and even during different liturgical seasons of the Church.
Which is why I think this parable is also a story about Lent and what happens when we misuse one of God’s most beautiful gifts . . . the gift of free will.
You’re probably wondering, “What does free will have to do with Lent?” I know that many times Lent seems as if we are in chains . . . that Lent is all about what not to eat, or what not to watch, or when to go to church. There seems to be nothing free about it at all.
But the wonderful thing about these next 40 days is that each and every day serves to remind us to appreciate the free will that is God’s gift to us; that we have the power and self-discipline to live as free people.
The key is to devote that freedom to God.
And in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, both sons show what happens when we misuse our God-given free will.
In the case of the younger son, he desired independence from his father - both his earthly and his heavenly father – and wanted to be in charge of his own life. He mistakenly thought that freedom could be found in the opportunity to do what he wanted; he didn't realize that freedom comes not from the opportunity to choose, but from choosing the right thing. Instead of finding freedom, he became enslaved to his own selfish desires.
On the other hand, the older son shows us a different kind of misuse of free will.
Lent isn’t meant to be oppressive, or weigh us down, or enslave us; if we let it do that, then we are like the older son who merely goes through the motions of doing the right thing. His misuse of free will is that he does it out of obligation ... it wears him down ... and there is no freedom in that. He doesn’t freely choose to do the right thing, he does it because he has to.
God created us in His image, and He loved us so much that he let us go. And just like the father in the parable who lets his youngest son go only to eventually have him return home, God releases us because he wants us to freely choose him instead of being forced to choose him.
Wisdom teaches us that unless we are free to say no to something, we are not free to say yes to it. During Lent we are reminded that our free will of saying “yes” and “no” is a gift from a loving parent.
And that is what Lent is: a time to say “no” for a while so that we can fully appreciate it when we say “yes”.
John Paul II said, “Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right (or the free will) to do what we ought.”
And that’s what I want my Lenten journey to be about . . . to choose God in everything and experience that freedom he so desires us to have.
Saturday we visisted our son in Atlanta who had planned to take us to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens as a birthday present to me. But the weather wasn't cooperating so he took us to Trader Joe's since we do not have one in Augusta. I filled my cart and my son paid AND I finally got a jar of Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel Seasame Seasoning Blend. Let's see what all the fuss is about ...
2- Empty shelves
The minute I entered Jonathan's apartment I checked out the kitchen only to discover that his freezer and fridge were EMPTY. I'm not even kidding. Evidently, Jonathan likes to finish EVERYTHING before he goes shopping. So then he got the Mom Lecture about keeping staples on hand in case something happens ... ice storm, power outage, snow storm. To his credit, he did have chocolate chip cookies, a jar of peanut butter, and a loaf of bread in his pantry.
(Please note that in the photo below I brought the two bags on the shelf--chicken salad and a mini vanilla bundt).
3- Photo during Mass
If you saw me taking a photo Saturday night of Timothy altar serving, please know it was for a high school service project report. He asked me to, and I obliged because when do my guys ever ASK to have their photo taken? Never. That's the answer.
4- About our OTHER son ...
Nicholas is enjoying a beautiful snowfall in Little Rock. He keeps sending us photos and we are all grumpy because all we have is cold, cold rain.
5- Perspective
I have this photo on my laptop. Will reference it any time I want to throw a pity party.
