Smiling Eyes

On this Sunday, I’m not writing about perfection.

I’m not talking about beauty, or sacrifice, or the ability to have it all. I’m not talking about the perfect body, or the perfect hairstyle, or the perfect tan.

I won’t talk about these things because while the ideals of beauty, sacrifice, size, and accomplishment are presented in the media as attainable, in reality these “standards” make us feel less than who we are; after all, it’s hard to hold ourselves up to standards that are airbrushed, botoxed, and surgically altered.

This quest for perfection, which has us running around trying the newest recipes, the latest face creams, or a popular juice cleanse just leaves us deflated in both our attempts and in ourselves.

Even the proverbial selfie creates self-doubt and taps into our insecurities. Do I really look like that? Are those neck wrinkles? Is that what I look like when I smile?

So we tilt our heads at a certain angle, pout our lips just so, and angle our bodies to show off our best side until the end result is someone almost unrecognizable.

The other night we were watching The Amazing Race, and at one point my son asked this about a female contestant, “Why do her lips look like a duck’s?” Why indeed. And when I told him about Botox and lip fillers he just about gagged. Our conversation reminded me of an article I read recently which mentioned how Kim Kardashian never fully smiles because she doesn’t want to get wrinkles around her eyes.

Well … I don’t want to live in a world where a smile doesn’t reach one’s eyes.  

Perfection, the quest for it and the holding on to it, is exhausting. So bring on the smiles and eye wrinkles because maybe the secret to perfection is imperfection.  Maybe the secret is to work at being the best version of our self, and then loving that person.

Last week I came across a photo by Carla Coulson, a photographer, author, and life coach originally from Sydney, Australia who now lives in Italy. I follow Carla both on Instagram and Facebook, and she takes stunning photographs. Recently she posted the following photo, which she says was the most liked photo she ever posted on Instagram. This photo surpassed her popular beach photos, her flower girl series, and all the personal photo shoots she has done through the years.

THIS photo, of two women standing tall and proud on a beach in Puglia, is the one which has resonated the most, and it’s easy to see why.

So on this day, I look at that photo and salute those two women who are happy, secure, and comfortable with themselves. Who embrace their wrinkles and wear a bathing suit and smile proudly at a photographer. Who are not holding on to their past selves or striving for different future selves, but who are fully present in the here and now.

And who have smiles that reach their eyes. 

photo credit: Carla Coulson