The Bra Workout

WARNING: If you are a guy, I don’t think you’ll be interested in this, so just mosey on along. But for you gals … continue reading.

I’m sure many of you would agree that shopping can be a workout. Bathing suits, skinny jeans, and the perfect prom dress require oodles of time, so much so that you write it on your calendar. THURSDAY: mall for bathing suits; SATURDAY: find perfect pair of jeans. Shopping for these items also involve marathon try-on sessions which, as in the case of bathing suits and skinny jeans, turn you into a contortionist that would put any Cirque de Soleil performer to shame.

And then there is bra shopping, which took up TWO HOURS of my time this morning.

I’m sure you’re scoffing. Two hours? How can that be? Allow me …

First, the selection of bra types is mind boggling: minimizer, t-shirt, push-up, racerback, full coverage, underwire, cross-back, balconette, bandeau, contour, convertible, full cup, demi cup, maternity, padded, plunge, shelf, stick-on, and strapless.

Then, the size you THOUGHT you were isn’t working anymore. You know this because, having been professionally fitted, reality comes crashing down with the news that you’ve been wearing the wrong bra size all along. Well then. Now you know.

But you don’t, not really, because knowing your perfect fit is just a STARTING POINT. You now need to convert your professionally fitted bra recommendation to the size and type of EVERY brand of bra because a 34B or a 38C is not the same across the board.

The cruelest thing? The sizes don’t necessarily translate between color because when you find the perfect fitting black bra, you go pick out a nude one in the same style and size thinking that your job is now done, but the nude one doesn’t fit the same as the black one.

Let me repeat that: same size and brand, but a different color, and the sizing is off. What the heck?

So you can see how the two hours were necessary. A SWEATY two hours because… well … Cirque du Soleil in the dressing room.

See? A workout, I tell you.