Here!

This morning I waved goodbye to Timothy as he backed down the driveway, and as I watched him turn the corner at the end of our street, I felt the sudden and urgent need to attend Mass.

I suppose I felt a little unmoored, drifting here and there on a current of emotions and feelings. Joe was out of town. Timothy was headed to Pensacola with his buddies from the Catholic Center. I thought of Jonathan and Caroline in Atlanta planning a wedding, and Nicholas and Lauren house hunting in Little Rock. Even my parents were out of town. So yeah, a little unsettled.

Since I waited to see Timothy off this morning, I arrived late to church; in fact, when I slipped into the very last pew Fr. Solomon was just starting his homily. I am not sure how his homily began, but when I sat down all I heard were the words “parents” and “letting go” and “do not be anxious” and “pray for your children.”

And just like that I dropped my anchor, no longer casting about in fretful waters.

Fr. Solomon’s words were soothing, comforting, and they brought me to 1 John 4:18 reminding me how perfect love casts out all fear.

When I walked out of church, I felt that love—perfect and anxious-free—and witnessed it everywhere in my day: at Target, when a tiny man with large, hobbit feet had the kindest smile; in Publix, where a cute three year dressed in a yellow princess dress and yellow wellies was dancing in Aisle 3; at a local eatery where six first responders, all big and burly, sat crammed into a single, tiny booth telling jokes and laughing.

And I felt the love in the kitchen this afternoon when Timothy’s text of “Here!” pinged on my phone and I could sense the joy from that single exclamation point.