Speak to Me Sunday: Come to the Quiet

On March 27, 2020 our family gathered around the television to watch Pope Francis give an Urbi et Orbi blessing. Translated from Latin (to the city [of Rome] and to the world) this blessing is usually given on three occasions: when a pope is elected Successor of Peter, at Christmas, and at Easter. On this date, however, the Pope delivered an extraordinary blessing as he prayed for an end to a pandemic that had brought the world to its knees.

That night it was raining in Rome. We watched the Pope walk to the sagrato of St Peter’s Basilica and, facing an empty square, addressed the world. It was hauntingly moving—St. Peter’s Square, glistening in the evening rain, and a solitary figure calling the world to prayer. His was a lone voice, echoing throughout the quiet piazza. After the blessing, the Pope then spent time before the Blessed Sacrament.

And there was silence in Rome. Silence from our television. Silence in our home.

It was a moment that profoundly moved me.

We live in a noisy world. A busy world. There are jobs to do, problems to solve, goals to reach, children to raise; there is sickness, unemployment, and doubt. There is worry and fear.  

And yet, it is in the midst of all this—the problems of the world—that God whispers, “Come to the quiet.”

Recently I watched the movie Paul, Apostle of Christ. There is a scene in the movie of total bedlam—Rome is burning, Paul is imprisoned, the Christians are being persecuted, killed, or thrown into Nero's Circus, and Luke and the Christians are debating whether to flee Rome, stay and minister, or take up arms and fight back. Then Luke, who stands strong on his belief in front of others but privately expresses his doubts to Paul, reminds them that Christ's love. "We live in the world,” he says. “But we do not wage war as the world does. Peace be with you."

There among the fires, fear, indecision, death and agony, the early Christians found the quiet and, subsequently, God’s peace. They may have had to dig through the rubble and roll aside the stones of fear, doubt, loss, and feelings of abandonment, but the only way they could move forward was to seek the silence and find God’s peace.

As humans we don’t always do what is best for us: we like to complain about our busy lives even as we pencil in another event on the calendar; we feel burdened, and then add to that burden by doing unnecessary tasks; we allow ourselves to get so caught up in the noise and confusion that we become part of it. What to do?

“Come to the quiet,” God whispers.

It sounds simple, but sometimes the way to find silence is to carve it out for yourself—through prayer, a walk in the woods, staying home—and allow yourself to be cocooned in God’s gift of silence. Stillness. And in that silence, removed from things of the world, you will find the gifts of hope, faith, peace, fortitude.

Such blessings, from a little silence.

The Spontaneity Gift

Sometimes, all the running around we do to live our lives prevents us from experiencing it, of truly being able to relish a moment in real time.

Schedules, programs, appointments and to-do lists, although immensely useful and wholly practical, can narrow our world.

And cause us to miss out.

To be sure, structure is good. Organization and planners and meal planning help life run smoothly. Even nature provides structure with the rising sun, waning moon, and changing seasons.

But sometimes God gives us a moment, an opportunity, to step off the beaten path to experience something new, or allows plans to go awry so we can see another way, or presents a pause so we can get a peek of color in a world of grey.

Sometimes we are asked to be spontaneous.

Spontaneous, to look one way when everyone else looks another. To turn left instead of right or go instead of stay. To walk in the middle of a run or stop in the middle of a walk. To do something on a Wednesday instead of Tuesday. To put aside the newspaper and read a fairy tale, or reach out instead of holding back.

To be ready, brave, and bold to let go and grasp something new, different, exciting, adventurous, and unplanned.

To embrace the gift of spontaneity and explore a new pathway without a map.  

Only in spontaneity can we be who we truly are.

~Anonymous

The Travel Journal: Interacting with the Travel Experience

When I first saw the movie, The English Patient, I loved the scene when Almasy shows Katharine Clifton his travel journal. Bursting at the seams, the leather notebook is  filled with drawings, observations, maps, and notes of his travels. As a writer and a former avid diary keeper, Almasy's journal fascinated me and has ever since inspired me to keep a journal when traveling, but not for the obvious reason of simply recording my day-to-day adventures; instead, I keep a travel journal because it has taught me to not only experience the world as a traveler, but also as a writer and an artist. 

As a result, I have learned to notice things that would otherwise be overlooked—the ice cream vendor with the disarming smile (and missing front tooth), how the sun filters through sheets drying on a line, the way the raindrops sound on cobblestones, the gnarled hands of the shoe maker, the taste of a flaky pastry while strolling through a market. 

Keeping a travel journal doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes I keep a traditional journal with daily entries, sometimes I simply write lists of things I’ve seen that day, and sometimes it’s a postcard taped onto a page. The important thing to remember is that the act of recording the trip should not prevent you from experiencing the trip. So, during the day I will make a mental note, jot down a single idea, or take a photo to remind me to write about it later--usually in the hotel room that night or on a long bus or train ride.

Travel Journal Ideas

1- Traditional vs. Non-Traditional

Instead of writing entries in a notebook, you can write about your day on the back of a postcard and mail it to yourself. Then, once you get home the postcards will begin arriving to your mailbox, each one with a special memory of your trip. (This is something we have always done with our boys, and they still like looking at those postcards they mailed to themselves years ago.) You can also journal with photos (in the past, I've done highlights of each day in five photos) or think of your journal as a scrapbook and fill it with postcards, brochures, ticket stubs, train tickets, restaurant napkins, or even a candy wrappers.

                                                             2- Bullet Points

If I am planning a big trip I like to prep my journal ahead of time by giving pages specific titles. For example ...

Before the Trip

(In which I jot down notes, lists, flights, and planned itinerary.)

(Sometimes I also include packing lists.) 

Quote of the Day 

(While traveling I like to write down things people say ... the funny, profound, insane.)

(This was one of my favorite journaling inspirations from our last trip)

  People I Meet 

(I like to describe some of the people I meet, 

everyone from the quirky tour guide, to the grumpy waiter, to the handsome boat captain.)

What I Ate

(How many times did I eat a gelato? Or what was my favorite meal of the entire trip?)

(Sometimes I will take a photo of a dish that I want to recreate once I return home)

 Things I purchased

(Not only what, but where, with whom, when, and why.)

(There is always a story behind a purchase.)

 Wow moments 

(What moved me? What made me smile, cry, angry, or amazed?

What rendered me speechless?)

 Things I Learned

(Because when I travel, I am always learning.)

from the files of very bad poetry by bia

(This is my tagline because sometimes I am inspired to write a poem.)

Where in the World is Bia?

(Nothing says "travel journal" like a good map.)

(Maps. Drawn, sketched, torn from a book.)

3- Traveler, Writer, Artist

Not everyone is a writer, so if you are more artistic, sketch a gondola, a pot of blooming geraniums, the mountain goat. If you're a musician, take photos of every street musician you encounter. If you're a dancer, join in a folk dance and then tell the story through a video, a photo, or a written description. If you are a chef, turn your travel journal into a recipe book. 

4- Final Words

Finally, during my travels I want to step confidently, explore boldly and, most importantly, experience wholly. I want to be fully present in the place I am visiting, and part of being fully present is interacting with the experience. A travel journal helps me do this. 

What ... Life Lately in Quick takes

 1-What I'm (simultaneously) reading ...

-The Paris Apartment (for book club)

-Remarkably Bright Creatures (audio book)

-Shogun (I may finish it by the end of the year 😉)

-Two cookbooks: 1/ Italy on a Plate (Travels, Memories, Menus) by Susan Gravely and 2/ Pasta Veloce by Frances Mayes, et al)

2-What I'm watching ...

-after watching The Tudors, I moved on to The White Queen and then The White Princess (go ahead, ask me anything about The War of the Roses)

-The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (Nicolas Cage movie, quirky and funny)

3-What I'm behind on ...

-shopping for a mother-of-the-groom dress

 

4-What I’m doing this week …

-shopping for a mother-of-the-groom dress (online, Augusta, Columbia, Atlanta, Greenville)

 

5-What I am eating …

 -nothing, due to the mother-of-the-groom dress fittings

 

6-What makes me smile

-no. 6 above because OF COURSE I am eating

 

7- What made me laugh out loud

-Timothy saying “stick resistance” instead of “cooking spray”

 

8- What I need to plan …

-shore excursions for an Alaskan cruise (Bike ride and hike along Silver Bay and through Tongass National Forest? Grizzly Falls ziplining? Dog sledding? Whale watching? Mendenhall Glacier?)

**Any recommendations appreciated!**

 

9-What quote best describes me ...

Bia-the-Brave Chickens Out

How fast they fall. And by "they" I mean me. 

Last night, flushed in a dual victory in which I won Bunco Bingo (first time EVER winning Bingo as I have been a loser in that game since fourth grade) AND I came in first place during Bunco. It was a duo win. A big night! 

But then I toppled from my pedestal.

When I got home and entered our back door (in the dark, mind you) a GIANT, JURASSIC-SIZED flying creature flew into my hair. I have never seen the like: three inches long, almost as thick, with lightning speed and a buzzing sound that rivaled a lawn mower.

You can imagine my panic. I dropped all my bags and, waving my arms, ran out of the laundry room and slammed the door. With my heart beating out of control, I could hear that THING, buzzing and banging against the walls.

Now, Bia-the-Bug-Killer I am not. I leave that job for Joe or Timothy. But one is in Kansas City and the other in Athens, so I would have to manage THE THING all by myself. I would have to be Bia-the-Brave.

Except I wasn't. When I slowly opened the door that thing flew straight at me. So I slammed the door shut again and stuffed towels underneath so that THING would be imprisoned in the laundry room. 

Where it has remained all night. 

So now, this morning, I have a dilemma. I am all dressed for a canal walk EXCEPT for my sneakers, which are in the laundry room. My winning prizes are in the laundry room, one of which I was going to have with breakfast. My purse and car keys are still in the laundry room and I have some errands to run later this morning.

I will have to do battle, I see that now. I will have to wage war and reconquer my laundry room. 

At some point. Maybe after I finish this post. And have a cappuccino. And check my email.

You know, maybe I will just skip the walk.

Bia-the-Brave ignoring the issue. That I can do. 

The Heart of a Lion, Still

This weekend my father was in the hospital again due to ongoing heart issues. And he STILL has the heart of a lion ...

Let me tell you about my dad. He will be 81 years old this October. He doesn’t smoke, and he doesn’t have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes. He eats healthy meals. He works out and plays golf. And yet, he has heart disease. He’s had two bypass surgeries (the first one at age 40) and over the years has endured numerous cardiac catheterizations, stents, stress tests, and hospitalizations. 

Why am I telling you this? Because despite all this, my dad never complains. He’s poked and prodded and patched up, but still he smiles. He jokes with the doctors and charms the nursing staff and flatters the technicians. Everyone likes him .... really, really likes him.

After yet another hospital stay and multiple tests, he is home again. Like always he’s not going to let heart disease stop him. He will continue to play golf, fish, tell corny jokes, and cook for church spaghetti suppers and fish fries. He is not going to allow heart disease stop him. 

The heart of a lion he has. 

Hear him roar.

When Your College Student Doesn't Call Home

I’m going to begin with a disclaimer: I have sons – three of them – and so any advice I have is a result of the male mindset. From what I hear, it seems as if daughters are better than sons about emailing, texting, calling, and being more communicative, but I’m aware that this is a huge generalization. There are daughters who don’t call home, just as I know there are sons who faithfully call their moms. In our household, we fall somewhere in-between -- sometimes they call, and sometimes they don't. But now that we have two done finished with college, and one about to start his sophomore year, here is what we've learned along the way.

1. When our sons don’t call home it doesn’t mean they don’t love us. Or need us. Believe me, the second they need their winter jacket or help with a resume, they will call. And they will be so nice about it.
2. We ask for one day a week – we let them choose – in which they are expected to call home. This puts the ball in their court and allows them to take the lead. A friend of mine once told me that she had to train her sons in this area, and I am so glad took her advice. For us, Sunday evening is the time we catch up with our sons. That doesn’t mean we don’t/can’t talk during the week, but at least on Sunday evening our sons take a break from their busy college lives and think of their family back home. Sometimes the call comes in the afternoon, sometimes in the evening, and sometimes late at night – but that’s okay.
3. They are expected to respond to our texts.  We have watched our sons arrive late for dinner, stop in the middle of a conversation, or rush out at the end of church in order to answer a text from a friend. We know they will do anything to answer a text, and as parents we deserve the same courtesy. But there is a caveat . . . and it is IMPORTANT so listen up: We do not text our sons all they time. They need their space, and the last thing we want to do is hover-text (and yes, I just made up that word).
4. When they call, we don’t grill them about everything they’ve been doing. It’s a conversation, which means information flows both ways. They share a little of their life and then we give them some news from home. For them to hear about Dad’s new car, their baby brother’s latest Lego creation, or what we did for Friday Family Night will remind them that we are still family and that they are still an important part of it … even though they are way over there, and we are over here.

Of course, things happen. Sometimes they will “forget” to text back, sometimes Sunday’s call comes Monday morning, and sometimes they call but aren’t talkative, but it’s all good. Besides, I know how to get the communication flowing ...

Two words: Care Package