Smiling Eyes

 On this, the first week into the New Year, I am not writing about perfection. Or New Year’s goals to attain that perfection.

I am not writing about ambition or the ability to have it all. I am not writing about the perfect body, or the perfect hairstyle, or the perfect tan.

I will not write about these things because while the ideals of beauty and accomplishment are presented in the media as attainable, in reality these “standards” make us feel less than who we are; after all, it’s hard to hold ourselves up to standards that are airbrushed, botoxed, and surgically altered, and it is hard to feel accomplished when so much of what we do is not glamorous or sensational.

This quest for perfection, set up as an ideal, leaves us deflated in both our attempts and in ourselves.

I once read an article which mentioned how Kim Kardashian never fully smiles because she does not want to get wrinkles around her eyes.

Well, I do not want to live in a world where a smile does not reach one’s eyes.  

Perfection, the quest for it and the holding on to it, is exhausting. So I say bring on the smiles and eye wrinkles because maybe the secret to perfection is imperfection, to accept yourself as you are.

Let me repeat: look for the perfect in the imperfect and accept yourself as you are.

When you begin from a place of acceptance, the strive for improvement does not come from self-recrimination, but rather from a wellspring of joy and excitement to take your wonderful self to another wonderful level.

On my desktop I keep a photo by Carla Coulson, a photographer, author, and life coach originally from Sydney, Australia who now lives in Italy. Recently she posted the following photo, which she says was the most liked photo she ever posted on Instagram. This photo surpassed her popular beach photos, her flower girl series, and all the personal photo shoots she has done through the years.

THIS photo, of two women standing tall and proud on a beach in Puglia, is the one which has resonated the most, and it is easy to see why.

I look at that photo and salute those two women who are happy, secure, and comfortable with themselves. Who embrace their wrinkles and wear a bathing suit and smile proudly at a photographer. They are not holding on to their past selves or striving for different future selves, but fully present in the here and now. Their smiles reach their eyes.

And on this, the first week into the New Year, this is what I am writing about: smiling eyes.