I love ...

I love Lincoln log cabins 

and stacked stone chimneys 

and wintery weathered wood 

and gnarly noble trees.

Have Bread, Will Travel

Two loaves of freshly baked sourdough bread (just out of the oven!) are going with us on vacation. 

Our car will smell heavenly.

Hamburgers and Golf

So, the last few days I have been in a mood.

My guys think it is amusing, especially since I am in a mood about two things for which I am not an expert: the world of business and the world of sports.

It all started Monday night when Joe, Timothy, and I watched The Founder, a movie about brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald, salesman Ray Kroc, and the story of the McDonald’s franchise. If you have seen the movie, then you know what happens; if you have not, here is a synopsis: two nice, honest, earnest brothers meet Ray Kroc, ruthless and egotistical, who bullies, cheats, goes back on his word (both oral and written), breaks contracts, and ultimately steals the brothers’ ideas AND their name.

By the end of the movie, I was incensed at the injustice of it all, especially when I considered that there is probably a business class somewhere extolling the drive, ingenuity, vision, and business plan of Ray Kroc who revolutionized the fast-food concept on a world-wide scale. This class will analyze charts and study growth patterns and place the Almighty Dollar on a pedestal which signifies success.

What happened to honesty and integrity? What about respect? Does the end really justify the means?

As I said to my guys: "The next time I see a plaque honoring Ray Kroc as the founder of McDonald's, I might have to say something."

And then, today, the PGA Tour announced that it was merging with LIV Golf to form “a new collectively owned” entity, and I was in a mood. Again.

Now, I freely admit that I would rather read a book any day of the week than sit through a football game or watch a golf match. But I am surrounded by guys so I do, on occasion, enter their world and so I have been following the PGA Tour and LIV Golf debacle. Heck, I even watched all eight episodes of Full Swing on Netflix.

But today the PGA Tour caved. Oh, I listened to the news and watched interviews, and they tried to sugarcoat things, but the way I see it … they caved. After months of vehemently declaring they wanted nothing to do with LIV, they heard the siren call of money and answered that call. Show me the money! All the golfers who took insane amounts of money to join LIV will now (potentially) be allowed back, while all those who were loyal to the PGA Tour are left standing on their integrity (which, in my opinion, is worth millions, but still).

As I said to my guys: “And they call golf a gentleman’s sport?”

So there you have it. My mood for the week has been influenced by McDonald’s and golf. 

What ... in 7 "beary" quick takes

 1-What I'm (simultaneously) reading ...

-The Language of Flowers (for book club)

-Big Little Lies (audio book)

2-What I'm watching ...

-The Tudors (I learned more British history from this one show, compliments of King Henry VIII)

- A Small Light (very well-made series)

-Wild Mountain Thyme (yet again, that’s how charming it is)

3-What I'm eating ...

-cottage cheese (all my life I have hated it, and now I don’t)

-homemade sourdough bread

-bruschetta w. fresh basil, ripe tomatoes, and my homemade sourdough bread

4-What I'm looking forward to ...

-two family vacations in Tennessee (different parts of the state)

-hiking in the Smoky Mountains National Park

-giving a Book Talk at the end of the month

-a couples wedding shower for Jonathan and Caroline

-a girls’ weekend in Hilton Head

5-What I’m proud of …

-someone who made Presidential Scholar for keeping a 4.0 his freshman year

-someone who just bought his first house in Little Rock

-someone who will be getting married in five months

-one daughter-in-law and one soon-to-be daughter-in-law (FINALLY girls in the family!)

6-What I am hoping for …

 -a bear sighting in Tennessee (I have always wanted to see a bear in the wilderness!) (from a distance, of course)

7-What makes me smile

-my bear poop story from Blowing Rock, North Carolina:

Something I never thought I'd google: "What does bear poop look like?"

Something I never thought I’d do: Take a photo of bear poop.

Something I never thought I’d call and ask my dad: “Dad, what does bear poop look like?”

Both Google and my Dad confirmed that it was in fact bear poop.

Proud Mom Moment (I think)

Once Upon a Time my entire family gathered at my parents' house for lunch. I was discussing summer reading books with my sister-in-law when Timothy chimed in.

"Do you know what my favorite book is?" he asked. "Fahrenheit 451 because all the books get burned."

Huh. Everyone laughed, but it was NOT my proudest mom moment, for sure.

Just take a fork and stab my heart, but the kid is not a fan of reading. Fiction, that is. Give him a book on stats, world records, current events, or "real stuff" (his words, such eloquence!) and he's good to go.

I guess Timothy saw how horrified I was because he softened his statement by mentioning TWO summer books he liked. Mind you, that's TWO books from his ENTIRE life of summer reading.

But all is not lost. Yesterday he came inside after washing his car and said, "Mom. Write this down because I thought of a poem."

Be still my beating heart (which was still beating despite the aforementioned fork). A poem. By my son.

And here's his poem:

two new neighbors
on either side
one really loud car
in between

Now THAT'S a proud mom moment.

I think.

When we discussed Robert Frost's poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" fromThe Outsiders, 

one of two books from a lifetime of summer reading that he actually liked. 

Do you want to be heard? Then listen.

(Yesterday, I came across this graphic and, sadly, it is all too true. It is also true that this conversation could apply to any two people with opposing views. We are at a point in our culture where, in order to feel justified or validated, the other side must agree with you. Or else. What happens when nobody listens, but everyone wants to be heard?)

The Chinese character for the word “listen” is made by combining two main characters: one depicting the ears, and the other depicting the heart. Why? Because listening wholeheartedly with undivided attention requires the use of not only the ears, but also the heart.

Do you hear what I hear?

In today’s world of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, everyone has a voice. With posts, tweets and blogs, people are vying to be heard. With news broadcasts, radio programs, talk shows and podcasts, the entire country is talking. Everyone wants to offer their opinions, confer their beliefs, and promote their political agenda. And by golly, everyone better listen.  

But what happens when what we are saying is not getting through? When our words scatter in the wind like confetti?

The talking gets louder. And faster. It becomes accusatory (“You’re not listening to me!”) and dismissive (“I am right. You are wrong. End of discussion.”) and very, very judgmental (“Who do you think you are?”). The talking resorts to name-calling and labels people as Democrat or Republican, Christian or non-Christian, mask wearers or non-mask wearers, black or white. We reduce the entire essence of a person or group into one tiny label until that label is all we see anymore.

Then, to make sure we are not alone, we create kingdoms with others who are like-minded; we build our walls, put up our fences, climb our tall towers, draw lines in the sand. We form political parties and special interest groups. We hold town hall meetings and political rallies. And we continue to talk, talk, talk mainly to others who are just. like. us.

All this talk, but is anyone really listening?

Civil discourse is a lost art. Once upon a time people listened with the intent to understand; but today it seems people listen with the intent to reply.

The world, more than ever, is so complicated. So much of what is going on right now is messy and uncertain and scary. But instead of uniting us, we have become divisive; instead of rising to the occasion, we are wallowing in the mud.

One day a student and teacher were talking.

“How can a decent, respectful human being understand the real-world situation?” asked the student.

“Always listen wholeheartedly to both sides and you will be enlightened,” the teacher responded. “Listen to only one side and you will be left in the dark.”

The thing is, you cannot change someone’s mind by yelling at them, pointing a finger, or calling them names; you cannot solidify your position by toppling statues or breaking windows; you cannot show someone the way when you have shoved them to the ground.

You cannot talk of love when you spew hate.

It really does not have to be this way, and the solution is not that complicated. If you build a wall, put in a door; if you isolate yourself in tall tower, lower a ladder; if you a draw a line in the sand, extend a hand over it.

Do not try to change someone else’s mind. Instead listen to their unique story, tell them yours, and discover common ground. 

After all, the most basic of all human needs is to understand and be understood.

And the best way to understand people is to listen … with both your ears and your heart.

What's a graduation card between brothers?